12 Critical Sex Toy Mistakes You’re About to Make

12 Critical Sex Toy Mistakes You’re About to Make

Sex toy mistakes; nearly everyone is guilty of making at least one of these.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a sex toy newbie or someone who has been playing with sex toys for years, you’re bound to make sex toy mistakes, goofs or blunders.

So, how do you avoid these mistakes and what are the consequences if you don’t? Read on to find out.

!2 sex toy mistakes: #4 Photo of Grey holding giant dildo behind his back tied with a big red ribbon and Be-Be covering her eyes thinking her surprise is a ring or flowers.
12 Critical Sex Toy Mistakes: #4 Surprise Sex Toys

#1 Buying a Cheap Sex Toy

12 sex toy mistakes: #1 photo of a large, pink, inflatable, strap-on penis
#1 Cheap Sex Toys

One of the most common sex toy mistakes is buying a toy that is cheap. And when I say cheap, I don’t mean a quality sex toy that’s on sale. Rather, I am talking about sex toys produced in mass and made of cheap materials. For example, sex toys with attached cords, plastic battery compartments and twist-off-and-on caps tend to stop working and fall apart quickly.

These are old school technology sex toys that use clunky batteries, metal connectors that don’t hold them in place and wired remote-controls that short out easily.

There’s a reason newer sex toys are rechargeable!

In addition, those hard plastic sex toys, jelly playthings and cyber-skin products are not good for your body. And, since the FDA and other safety departments don’t regulate the manufacturing of sex toys, those materials can cause injury, allergic reactions, illness and infections. More on that later.

Avoid the Cheap Sex Toy Mistakes

How do you avoid making this sex toy mistake? Look for quality sex toys that are on sale, rather than just being cheap. That includes sex toys made of premium silicone, are self-contained or have a wireless remote-control and are rechargeable. Most importantly, read those reviews! Buyers are brutally honest when it comes to sex toys.

So, if buyers say it’s loud, fell apart or didn’t work as described, avoid that sex toy mistake like the plague!

#2 Your Eyes are Bigger than Your Orifice

 #2 Photo of a woman looking at her cell phone with huge, surprised eyes.

The next blunder on my list of crucial sex toy mistakes is buying a sex toy that is too big for your vagina or bottom. And that’s easier to do than you might think!

Yes, big can be beautiful when it comes to curvy women, a new home or that ring you’ve had your eye on. But extra-large sex toys aren’t for everyone.

You see, if you don’t read descriptions carefully when shopping online, you may end up with a dildo that’s too long or too girthy. Furthermore, boutique dildo makers have their own scale when it comes to length and girth. For instance, one artisan’s small dildo may be bigger than a soda can while the next may create small dildos that are comparable to mass-manufactured sex toys.

Finally, materials matter! A larger sex toy made from soft, squishy silicone is more comfortable than the same size toy made of a single-layer, firmer silicone.

So, how do you avoid making this sex toy mistake?

Don’t Make the Too Large Sex Toy Mistake

To avoid purchasing a sex toy that’s just too large and uncomfortable, follow these helpful tips:

  • Shop in person so you can see and feel the sex toy.
  • Read the full sex toy description when shopping online.
  • Measure your favorite sex toy and use that to comparison shop.
  • Look for size comparison photos when shopping dildo boutiques.
  • If you can’t find measurements, email the online store before you buy.

What Happens if You Use Sex Toys that are Too Big?

If you do make that sex toy mistake and buy a toy that’s too big, what could happen if you use it? First off, using a sex toy that’s bigger than you can handle will likely cause pain. Therefore, it’s crucial that you listen to your body and not force the toy inside. Secondly, using an oversized sex toy vaginally can cause cystitis and urinary tract infections as well as small tears.

And all of those things hurt like crazy!

Further, in regard to back-door toys, you can also cause cuts and tears as well as injury from slowed blood flow; especially when using anal plugs. You can read more about that type of sex toy injury in my previous blog.

Be Mindful of Sex Toy Shapes Too!

I made one of these sex toy mistakes when I didn’t take the shape of the product into consideration. I was beyond excited to try one of the new, clitoral sucking sex toys. Therefore, when I ordered, I didn’t pay attention to the measurements of the insertable area, meant to stimulate the g-spot.

As a result, the rigid material and the reverse-hourglass shape didn’t fit my vagina. Plus, the length of the toy overall didn’t allow the sucking part to align with my clitoris, rendering the insertable part useless.

That was a huge mistake that cost me $60! All because I didn’t read the product details.

#3 Sex Toys Made from Materials that Are Bad for Your Body

12 critical sex toy mistakes: #3 Toxic sex toys a picture of a man in a gas mask with a biohazard sign
12 Critical Sex Toy Mistakes: Toxic Toys

This is one of those sex toy mistakes that can go hand-in-hand with another; specifically, buying cheap sex toys. Cheap sex toys are made from cheap materials. And, cheap materials are, more often than not, toxic to your body. These materials can cause injury, allergic reactions, illness and even infertility.

Therefore, it’s crucial that you read packages and product descriptions carefully to avoid buying toxic sex toys.

Toxic Sex Toy Materials and Why Buying Them are Sex Toy Mistakes

  • Skin Type Materials: All skin type materials, even if they say they are body-safe, are porous. Those pores hide dirt, bacteria and viruses. In turn, those yucky things can breed mold and bacteria and cause infections and illnesses as well as spreading STIs (sexually transmitted infections). Yes, this does include the Fleshlight.
  • Jelly, TPE, TPR, SEBS, Rubber, Vinyl and PVC: These toxic sex toy materials are also porous as well as containing ingredients that can cause burns, blistering, rash and potential harm to your reproductive system. In addition, these materials break down easily causing pilling, cracks, peeling and dryness.
  • Silicone Blends: Any sex toys that are labeled as being a blend of silicone, including some of the above materials, are dangerous to use. Again, they may contain toxic chemicals as well as being porous.

For more, in depth information on toxic sex toys, a fellow blogger has written the most comprehensive articles on the subjects. Check out these blog posts by Dangerous Lilly.

#4 Surprise Sex Toys

12 critical sex toy mistakes: #4 showing Grey man on one knee holding a giant dildo wrapped in a red ribbon while Be-Be is seated with her hands over her eyes thinking about flowers and an engagement ring.
Sex Toy Mistakes: #4 Surprise Sex Toys

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with your partner for two weeks or twenty years, surprise sex toys are one of the biggest sex toy mistakes. Sure, your lover my have expressed interest in trying something new. However, that doesn’t give you the green light to go out and buy a gigantic dildo.

Sure, choosing sexy lingerie, massage oils or even an erotic tickle feather is a romantic gesture. But sex toys are a bit more personal and something your partner should be a part of choosing.

Avoid the Surprise Sex Toys Mistakes

So, if you fantasize about tying your lover to the bed or seeing just how far they can stretch by using a monster dildo on them, sit down and discuss those fantasies first. After all, the sexiest part of intimacy is consent.

Therefore, if you want to buy your lover an intimate plaything, at least sit down together and scroll through the pages of a website first. That way, you can purchase a gift your partner has approved of while still presenting it with a big, red bow.

#5 Using the Wrong Lube

Number 5 on my list of sex toy mistakes is choosing the wrong lubricant. And, with so many different types of lubricants available nowadays, it’s easy to make that mistake. Therefore, I have made you an easy-to-use chart of lubricants so you don’t use the wrong lubricant for your chosen sexual escapade.

Avoid Making This Sex Toy Mistake by Using the Right Lube

TypeLong-LastingUse w/ToysExternalInternalCondom SafeHypoallergenicStainsReapplySticky
Water-BasedGoodAll ToysYesYesYesNot AlwaysNoFrequentlyYes
Oil-BasedBestSilicone, Wood, Glass, StainlessYesNo *can cause vaginal infectionNoNot AlwaysYesRarelyNo
SiliconeBetterAll Except SiliconeYesYesYesYesYesRarelyNo
HybridBetterAll Except SiliconeYesNo *Unless oil-freeMaybe *If Oil-FreeNoMaybeOccasionallyNo
Natural OilsBetterYesYesNo *Can Cause Vaginal InfectionNoNoYesRarelyNo
PoorYes Only Silicone, Wood, StainlessYesNo *Can Cause Vaginal InfectionNoYesYesOccasionallyYes
Lubricant Chart

#6 Not Cleaning Your Sex Toys

 photo of the inside of a Fleshlight showing mold from not cleaning.
Sex Toy Mistakes: Mold inside a Fleshlight

One of the biggest sex toy mistakes that most of us are guilty of making is not cleaning your sex toy. Admit it. You know you’ve had a satisfying solo session and tossed your toy aside without washing it. Then, the next time you use it, your toy is covered in pet hair, carpet fuzz and specks of dirt.

Worse yet, those of you that stick your penises inside of toys also leave behind bodily fluids. And when you don’t wash those masturbating sleeves out, they can grow mold and mildew. So, as much as you’d rather roll over and fall asleep post-o, you really need to step to the sink and wash your sex toy.

Proper Toy Cleaning to Stop Another of These Sex Toy Mistakes

All sex toys should be thoroughly washed with soap and warm water. Then, rinse them well followed by a thorough drying. This is especially true for masturbation sleeves which should be turned inside-out for washing, rinsing and drying. Most importantly, all anal sex toys should be cleaned immediately with soap and water or by boiling, if your toy is made of glass or stainless steel.

But for those of you that just can’t bring yourself to get up and wash your sex toy, at least purchase a package of sex toy cleansing wipes to keep tucked away with your toys for fast and easy clean-up.

#7 Not Storing Your Sex Toys Properly

photo of sex toys that have melted and deformed from Dangerous Lilly: https://dangerouslilly.com/2013/09/melted-sex-toys/
Melted, deformed sex toys. Photo courtesy of DangerousLilly

How you store your sex toys is just as important as washing them after use. So, don’t make the sex toy mistake of just tossing your playthings together in a drawer.

First, you must take into account the type of materials from which your sex toys are made. For instance, sex toys made of cyber-skin, jelly, SEBS and TPE can stick together with the color transferring from one toy to the other.

The second thing you should consider is wrapping the toys separately in a soft cloth or bag. Not only does it keep your toys from touching, it keeps them free of any dirt, dust or debris that may be lurking in your drawer.

Plus, you need to avoid anything that could scratch or pierce your sex toy like pens, paper clips, scissors or nail files. Any hole or scratch can harbor dirt, bacteria or viruses.

And if your nightstand is anything like mine, there are medicines, pens, bits of paper, candy, batteries, nail clippers and packages of crackers.

Finally, make sure your sex toys are stored away from direct sunlight or heat. Again, sex toys that are made from anything except silicone, wood, stainless steel or glass will melt, dry out, become mishappened or bleed onto each other or the towel they are wrapped in.

#8 Buying Solely Online is a Huge Sex Toy Mistake

 #9 only shopping online. photo of a vibrator display at a Cirilla's sex shop
Sex Toy Mistake #8: Only shopping online

Another crucial blunder on my list of sex toy mistakes is buying your playthings solely online. You see, it’s important to experience how sex toy materials feel, see how they are sized and experience what the vibrations feel like. How else will you know if silicone feels good on your skin as opposed to jelly, TPE, real-skin or other materials.

In addition, it’s difficult to imagine what a 5-inch dildo with a 4-inch insertable length and a 5-inch girth looks like unless you have actually seen one. Therefore, I highly recommend everyone walk into a sex shop at least once. That way you can see, touch and experience the types of sex toys that interest you.

Plus, you never know, you might find a sex toy you’d never considered before. And many sex shops have vibrators on display as well as little pillows of sample lubes, edible potions and even condoms for super-cheap. It’s a perfect way to try out a product before investing in an entire bottle.

#9 The Cross-Contamination Sex Toys Mistakes

Sex toy mistake #9; photo of pink panties with black polka dots and a silver vibrator.
Sex Toy Mistake #9: Cross contamination

I know how frenzied a hot make-out session can be. However, you need to be aware of one of the most important sex toy mistakes you can make in the heat of the moment; sex toy cross contamination.

Basically, nothing that touched your butt should touch your vagina, labia or clitoris. For the same reason we are taught to wipe front to back, using a sex toy around your anus then your vagina can spread e-coli and other bacteria. And that, dear readers can cause a world of uncomfortable problems.

First off, that bacteria can get into your urinary tract causing an infection. And, if left untreated, can spread to your bladder and kidneys. And if you’ve never experienced the hell-fire of a UTI, trust me, you are a lucky one!

Secondly, those same bacteria that hang around your back door, when introduced into the vagina can cause an infection called bacterial vaginosis. This unpleasant situation causes thick discharge that burns your sensitive tissues as well as smelling like a fish market.

Most importantly, you can pass this infection back and forth with your partner like playing ping-pong. Therefore, you both need to be treated with a special antibiotic. But you can avoid all of that uncomfortable stuff by not allowing any toy to be used in both the butt and vagina.

And FIY, fingers count too!

#10 Sex Toy Mistakes: That’s the Wrong Hole!

12 critical sex toy mistakes: #10 photo of an x-ray showing a dildo far up inside someone's rectum.
Sex Toy Mistake #10 Using the wrong toy in the wrong hole.

This is one of those sex toy mistakes that could end up in an embarrassing trip to the emergency room. Sure, some sex toys are pretty versatile like bullet vibrators, stroker pads and suction cup dildos. However, some sex toys are made specifically for a certain orifice of the body.

For example, take a look at the butt plug or any other anal toy. They are tapered at the top for easy insertion, get wider in the middle then small again. That is to allow the sex toy to slip through the sphincter, allowing it to close around the more narrow stem. Then, the base of an anal toy is very wide, which keeps it from slipping beyond and getting lost inside the abyss of your rear.

That’s definitely not an ER visit you’d want to make.

Therefore, it’s important to purchase anal toys for butt play and vaginal toys to vaginal insertion.

#11 Not Hiding the Sex Toys when You Have Kids in the House

12 critical sex toy mistakes: photo of a black, plastic chest with a lock for storing sex toys.
Sex Toy Mistake #10: Not hiding your sex toys from your kids

Children are curious little buggers that have no sense of personal space. So, if you have little ones in the house and you’re not hiding your adult playthings, you’re making a huge sex toy mistake.

Embarrassment is a big risk when it comes to not hiding your sex toys. Sure, if your toddler finds your dildo, it’s mildly embarrassing. However, if she toddles out during a dinner party, shaking it in the faces of your guests and demanding to know what it is right now, that embarrassment turns quickly into humiliation.

I know first-hand as my precious little girl did it to me when she was 3. And, I’ve shared my full humiliation with you in my blog titled, “Quick, Hide the Sex Toys.”

But the biggest danger when it comes to your children discovering your sex toys are the small batteries that are inside of remote control and body of smaller toys. These batteries and extremely small and, if swallowed, can have dangerous or deadly consequences.

Avoid an Embarrassing and Dangerous Sex Toy Mistake

Therefore, if you have littles in the house, you may want to consider placing your playthings in a shoebox and hiding it in the closet, out of reach. Or you can purchase a small, lockable box that you can tuck away in your nightstand drawer. Either way, you’ll prevent tiny hands from finding tiny batteries.

#12 Not Reading Off-Site Reviews

 photo of a couple looking surprised while seeing something on a laptop computer.
Sex Toy Mistakes #12: Not reading off-site reviews

The last goof on my list of crucial sex toy mistakes is not reading off-site product reviews. While some sites, like Amazon, show all reviews – the good, the bad and the ugly – many online, sex toy shops only post the best reviews.

Therefore, it’s important to read reviews in more places than one. In addition, you must keep in mind that not everyone is going to be honest. For instance, some sex toy bloggers review products that are given to them, many in exchange for a positive review.

Now I am not saying all sex toy review sites and bloggers only give good reviews. Because there are some that are brutally honest in regard to the products they try. So basically, if you are reading one glowing review after another, you may want to look elsewhere.

Stop the Good Review/Bad Review Sex Toy Mistakes

For that reason, take to Google and punch in the name of the sex toy you’re considering. Then, read several different sites and what they have to say about that particular playing. That way, you will have a more rounded opinion on all aspects of that sex toy. Plus, reading several reviews may save you a great deal of money, especially if you’re investing in a high-tech, expensive sex toy.

Are You Guilty of These Sex Toy Mistakes?

Most of the time when we are buying sex toys, we are thinking with our genitals and not our brains. That is why the vast majority of us make crucial sex toy mistakes. However, if we begin shopping for sex toys like we shop for clothing, appliances or a car, we will start using our heads a little more.

Not only will avoiding these sex toy mistakes save us money, it can also save us from illnesses, injuries, allergic reactions and embarrassing situations at dinner parties. So, the next time you shop for sex toys, be sure and read the descriptions well, look for reviews from around the internet and once they arrive at home, take care of them properly.

2 thoughts on “12 Critical Sex Toy Mistakes You’re About to Make”

  1. Great informative article. I do have a question about lube. Is it safe to use Extra Virgin Coconut oil as lube? And is it safe on toys. I know you have natural oils but I wasn’t sure if that was considered natural or not. I have been using it without ill affect but I don’t want to keep using it if it’s bad for me.

    And the picture of the unwashed toy was “ewwwww” I hope someone wasn’t actually using that.

    1. Yes, extra virgin coconut oil is considered a natural oil. Therefore, if your toys aren’t compatible with oils, extra virgin coconut oil can cause damage and begin the vicious circle of damage, tiny cracks, bacteria hiding and infection. In addition, using oils inside the vagina isn’t the best idea because it can cause yeast infections. I have always recommended water-based lubricants that are made for the vagina to maintain the proper PH. For instance, when you go to the gynecologist, they use KY lubricant for exams as it’s water-based, hypoallergenic and maintains the proper vaginal PH.

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