You were always told not to play with fire, but no one said anything about hot wax! Sexy, sensual and little bit risky — wax play is bound to get your temperatures rising! Wax play is a classic BDSM activity that falls under the category of temperature play, but that doesn’t mean it has to be about pain, unless that’s what you are looking for! The thrill of hot wax dripping onto your skin and slowly hardening is an amazing tool for heightening physical and psychological arousal and igniting your senses.
What is wax play?
Wax play involves dripping or pouring melted wax onto your partner’s skin for sexual arousal. It can range from a more sensual warm oil massage to wax play BDSM that comes with a little more heat and a pleasant side of pain, depending on which type of candle you use, but more on that below.
Why would you want to try wax play?
As I mentioned earlier, wax play excites both the mind and body, leading to a state of heightened arousal that can be incredibly exciting and pleasurable. Here are some of the hot benefits of wax play
- The slightly risky nature of wax play can be exhilarating and that rush of excitement translates into arousal.
- The hot wax hitting your skin creates a delicious warming or burning sensation.
- The heat increases blood flow and enhances sensitivity.
- It puts your senses into high alert, which also amplifies other sensations.
- The hot wax can create some amazing artwork on your skin.
- Trying something new with a partner can enhance intimacy and add some excitement to your sexual repertoire.
What kind of wax should you use for or wax play?
So you think wax play sounds exciting? Great! But, please don’t just grab any candle you can find! Wax play requires some very specific candles to make sure that the wax melts at a safe temperature, otherwise you could end up with some nasty burns, and that definitely isn’t the sexy experience you were hoping for!
Best for Beginners — Soy Wax
Soy wax is skin safe and has a low melting point, meaning the wax doesn’t need to be very hot for it to melt. This makes it ideal for first time wax play, as there is a lower risk of burns. Many massage candles contain soy wax and other skin nourishing oils that also have a low melting point so you can enjoy the sensual sensation of warm wax, without the candle getting too hot.
For More Intensity — Paraffin Wax
Paraffin wax burns at a higher temperature than soy wax while still being skin safe. This temperature is perfect if you are looking for a little more of a sharp burn with each drip and is often used for wax play BDSM. Paraffin candles tend to be taper candles (long and thin) and come in different colors.
Materials to Avoid
Playing with wax is definitely exciting, but it also comes with some risks! You should always stick to using soy or paraffin candles and avoid these as they have a higher melting point and can result in burns.
- Some dyes can also increase the melting point, so only use colored candles designed for wax play.
Our Favorite Candles for Wax Play
Smother your lover in delicious warm oils and enjoy the seductive smell of this pourable massage candle from Lovehoney.
These colorful paraffin candles from Doc Johnson bring a little more heat and are perfect for dripping on your partner.
Not only are these candles dick-shaped, they are also black light reactive! Plus, you can get creative with the colors as you play!
How to Prepare for Wax Play
Now you’ve chosen your perfect candle, it’s time to prepare your body and space. This won’t take long, but it’s essential given the risks and mess involved in playing with hot wax.
- I highly recommend removing any body hair from the areas you want to drip wax on, unless you want a free wax!
- Cover your sheets with an old towel or blanket that you don’t mind getting wax or oil on. If you love messy play, a protective waterproof sheet is a good investment!
- Have some safety supplies on hand — a fire extinguisher, first aid kit, some cool (not cold) water and clean cloths are all safety essentials.
- Establish a safe word with your partner and talk about which areas of the body you do and don’t want to get wax on. You should never drip wax on the face or genitals as these areas are more sensitive and have a higher risk of injury.
How to Wax Play
Now it’s time for the fun stuff! As with any new sexual activity, it’s always best to start out gently and increase the intensity as you go, and always communicate clearly with your partner.
- Light your chosen candle and let it burn until some of the wax has melted. For massage candles, let the candle burn until you have an even layer of liquid wax across the top of the candle.
- Blow out the flame.
- Test the wax on your own skin to gauge how hot it is and let your partner test it, so they know what to expect.
- Always start with a less sensitive part of the body, like the back, shoulders, and arms.
- Drip the wax from high enough that it cools on the way down but not so high it splashes — start with around 15 to 20 inches and adjust as necessary.
- Give your partner time to get used to the sensation before moving onto more sensitive, like the inner thighs or stomach, if they wish.
- Experiment with different sensations, such as dripping or pouring the wax or blowing on the wax to make it cool quicker.
- When you are ready for clean up, you have a few options. Firstly, you can use a blunt (very blunt) knife or credit card to scrape the wax off, some people really enjoy this sensation! You could also peel the wax off with your fingers.
- Don’t forget the aftercare! Some wax play specific ideas include having a warm shower or bath and applying some lotion or aloe vera to sooth the skin.
Add a Little More Spice to Your Wax Play
Now you’ve mastered the basics, it’s time for some more advanced wax play techniques. As wax play heightens your senses, adding in other sensations can make for some seriously intense play! This is great if you are looking to take your wax play to the next level.
Hot and cold
Combining the sweet heat of the wax and the sharp, chill of something cold can be truly electrifying! Grab an ice cube or chill a steel dildo or glass wand in some cold water and alternate between hot drips of wax and cold strokes to keep your partner on their toes! If you are using an ice cube, make sure to let it melt a bit first so it doesn’t stick to your skin.
Add even more anticipation with a blindfold. Not only does being blindfolded create a sense of submission, not knowing where or when the next drip will strike adds to the excitement.
Adding in some restraints can create an intoxicating mix of wax play and power play! Bed restraints, like these ones from Sportsheets that I love, are perfect for this as they put you in a spread eagle position, leaving your body exposed for your partner to tease with wax.
Make a masterpiece
If you’ve got colored dripping candles, unleash your creative side and use partner’s body as canvas. Experiment with making different patterns with the colors and make sure to admire your work when you are finished! This could also make for a very fun, naughty photoshoot!
Wax Play Safety
Wax play does come with some risks — you are playing with fire and hot wax, after all! Whenever taking part in riskier play, it’s essential to educate yourself on the risks involved, so you know what you are consenting to, how to limit the risks, and what to do if something does go wrong. The BDSM community uses the acronym RACK to highlight the importance of this.
Here are some simple safety guidelines to help keep you safe…
- Have a fire extinguisher and first aid kit on hand. If you do experience a burn, apply a cool compress but avoid using very cold water or ice.
- Keep loose fabric away from the candle flames.
- Always test the temperature of the wax.
- Never drip wax near the eyes, face, head, or genitals.