BDSM Forced Orgasms and How to Try It

By Isabelle Uren / July 13, 2023

Today, we’re diving into the thrilling world of forced orgasms. This intriguing facet of power play is also a pretty complex subject and one that we need to approach with sensitivity and clear understanding.

Consensual forced orgasms can be a thrilling addition to power play and roleplay, helping enhance the Dom/sub power dynamic and bringing intense pleasure.

If you’ve ever fantasised about being completely dominated and made to cum, maybe even against your will, you might have a forced orgasm kink! This is actually a pretty common fantasy, and it absolutely doesn’t mean you want this to happen in real life.

It is, however, something you can explore safely within a well negotiated, safe BDSM scene and this post will teach you how to do it!

So, let’s strip it down (pun absolutely intended) and dive deep into what forced orgasms are, what they aren’t and how to explore them safely!

I’ll also share my favorite magic wand vibrator and sexual restraints to use for forced orgasm play!

Trigger warning: We will be discussing consensual forced orgasms. However, this might contain triggering information for some, especially if you have experienced non-consensual forced orgasms or sexual assault. Please only continue reading if you feel comfortable with the subject matter.

Here’s everything you can find in this post:

Consensual vs Non-Consensual Forced Orgasms

Before we get started with the fun stuff of what forced orgasms are in BDSM and how to try them, it’s essential to establish the difference between consensual and non-consensual forced orgasms, as they are very different in nature.

Consensual Forced Orgasms

The use of the word “forced” might sound slightly alarming at first. However, consensual forced orgasms happen between partners, where one partner has given their consent to let their partner make them orgasm once or repeatedly. As well as being based on enthusiastic consent, this type of play involves an in-depth discussion of emotional and physical safety.

Non-consensual Forced Orgasms

Non-consensual forced orgasms, on the other hand, involve a person being forced to orgasm against their will. This is sexual abuse and completely unacceptable. If you have experienced a non-consensual forced orgasm or sexual assault, you can reach out to your medical provider, the police, or a sexual assault support line.

What is Consensual Non-consent (CNC)

Forced orgasm play falls under the category of consensual non-consent. This type of play involves permitting your play partners to perform actions that appear to be non-consensual but that you have actually given consent to you and you are simply acting out a shared fantasy.

In the case of forced orgasms, the receiving partner gives the other person or people permission to make them orgasm even though they might find it uncomfortable. They might also role play/act as if they don’t want it to happen that’s part of scene.

Consensual non-consent also highlights why it is so important to have a safeword that isn’t ‘No’ or ‘Stop,’ as these words can be part of the role play. 

I cannot stress this enough: it is only consensual non-consent if true consent has been gained.

What is a Forced Orgasm in BDSM?

BDSM forced orgasms are often a part of power play scenarios where the dominant partner takes control of their partner’s pleasure and stimulates the submissive partner to orgasm. The submitting partner might act as though they are being made to orgasm against their will.

This type of play combines consensual non-consent with the broad category of orgasm torture or orgasm control.

Forced orgasm play can involve just one orgasm or multiple climaxes, depending on you negotiate for the scene. It’s common to use restraints during forced orgasm play to prevent the submissive partner from moving and helping them go deeper into submission. 

If you’ve ever tried to have multiple orgasms, you might know that continuing stimulation after an orgasm can feel uncomfortable. BDSM often plays in the blurred lines between pleasure and pain or discomfort, and that’s also true of forced orgasms. 

This discomfort and pushing through it is part of the fun. Plus, you get rewarded with the intense pleasure of multiple orgasms. And when combined with the altered state of subspace, it can feel like a mind-melting high. 

Forced Orgasms for Vulva Owners

Vulva owners can have forced orgasms from internal or external stimulation, depending on their preference and what they agree on for the scene. It’s also often easier for vulva owners to experience multiple orgasms as they don’t have the same refractory time as penis owners.

Forced Squirting

If you are a vulva owner who experiences squirting, forced squirting might be a part of your forced orgasm scene. This intense type of stimulation, combined with the intense release of multiple orgasms may naturally trigger you to squirt or you might consciously focus on trying to let it happen. It is a great idea to use a sex blanket, like the Liberator Fascinator, just in case it happens!

Forced Orgasms for Penis Owners

Penis owners can also enjoy forced orgasm play, however it might be more difficult to experience multiple forced orgasms. After ejaculation, penis owners experience a refractory period, during which it is very difficult or impossible to become aroused, but the length of time varies from person to person. Penis owners can experience forced orgasms through penile or prostate stimulation.

What do Forced Orgasms Feel Like, and Why People Enjoy Them?

For someone with a forced orgasm kink, this type of play can be incredibly exciting, both physically and mentally.

Of course, how it feels varies from person to person and even scene to scene, but there are some common things you might feel during forced orgasm play. 

  • Intense pleasure: The high levels of arousal and stimulation involved can lead to more intense orgasms. This is especially true if you climax multiple times.
  • Discomfort or overstimulation: Continuing stimulation directly after you have climaxed can feel uncomfortable as your nerves are hypersensitive after orgasm. As I mentioned earlier, being able to tolerate this discomfort in order to get your reward of another orgasm is part of the fun for many! It’s important to remember that you can stop the scene at any time if this discomfort becomes too much or anything crosses your boundaries.
  • Submission: Surrendering control of your pleasure to your partner creates a deep feeling of submisison that many people enjoy.

The combination of these feelings can be intoxicating and leave you in a state of extreme pleasure and exhaustion. Forced orgasm play can really push you to your limits, both physically and mentally, which is also the attraction for many! 

What are the benefits of forced orgasms?

As well as being able to enjoy multiple orgasms and more intense pleasure, there are some other benefits to reaped from BDSM forced orgasm play!

  • Both partners can enjoy a deeper sense of the power dynamic.
  • Forced orgasms can enhance certain roleplay scenarios, especially ones that involve consensual non-consent (CNC).
  • The vulnerability involved requires you to trust your parter to be able to take you to your limit while still keeping you safe and respecting your boundaries, can deepen feelings of trust and intimacy with your partner. 
  • Both the sub and Dom get a better understand of the sub’s pleasure response and limits, which can enhance future play sessions.

My Favorite Sex Toys for Forced Orgasms

While you can absolutely explore forced orgasms without sex toys, they can be a great addition.

You might find that they are more necessary if you want to explore multiple forced orgasms, as it might be too tiring for the dominant partner to keep up the level of stimulation needed! Plus people need more intense stimulation to keep going.

You can use pretty much any sex toy you like for forced orgasm play, depending which type of stimulation the receiving partner enjoys.

For vulva owners: Clitoral suction toys, magic wand vibrators, sex saddles, and thrusting sex machines.

For penis owners: automatic fleshlights, powerful prostate massagers or penis vibrators.

My top forced orgasm sex toys

The Doxy Die Cast Wand Vibrator

Doxy Die Cast

This large head of this insanely powerful wand makes it easy to use on a partner. And, with up to 9000 rpm, there’s more than enough power in the Doxy Die Cast to push your partner to limits of pleasure! While wand vibrators tend to be used more on vulva owners, they can absolutely be used on penis owners too!

Hismith App-Controlled Sex Machine 

hismith app controlled sex machine

If you are looking for even more intense power and want to explore internal stimulation and forced orgasms, the HiSmith Sex Machine is a fantastic option. You can use it with a dildo or attach a stroker for penis pleasure. Plus it’s app controlled, making it easy for the dominant partner to take control while they sit back and watch!

The Wand Harness from The Stockrooom

A wand harness is a great way to explore forced orgasms solo or allow the Dom to keep their hands free for other types of play! This beautiful, hand-crafted leather wand harness from The Stockroom is both sexy and practical. Not to mention, it also has space to hold a dildo for some thigh-riding fun!

How to Try Forced Orgasms

If you’re keen on exploring forced orgasms, it’s essential to start slow and establish safe practices beforehand. 

You should also only try this with a partner you trust will respect your boundaries and safeword and has you pleasure and safety in mind.

I’ve probably said it enough times already, but just in case you missed it, getting enthusiastic consent is essential to forced orgasm play and any other activities you plan to do is essential. You should also remember that consent can be withdrawn at point during the experience.

You should also discuss your boundaries and negotiate the set up for the scene. Here are some questions to discuss:

  • Which body parts and types of stimulation you will use?
  • How many forced orgasms will be involved?
  • Will you be restrained during the scene, and if so, how?
  • Is penetrative sex part of the play?
  • What type of language you are comfortable using?

2. Choose a safeword or signalling system

A safeword stops all pay immediately at any point should you need to. It should be a word that won’t come up in the scene, so before choosing it consider any roleplay themes you’re exploring.

Another alternative is the traffic light system, which can be more useful, as it allows you to easily tell your partner you are close to a limit and they should slow down.

Sometimes, the intense experience can cause the submissive partner to forget to use to use their safeword, so the dominant partner should check in with their sub, using their chosen method throughout the session to make sure they are good to continue.

3. Optional Restraints

Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint System

If you have decided to use restraints, you can make restraining your partner part of the play!

If you are roleplaying, get into character! Tell your partner what you are doing to them and what awaits them!

This teasing will help you both get into your roles and start building arousal.

The Sportsheets Under Bed Restraint System is ideal for forced orgasm play as it restrains both the wrist and ankles to the bed while leaving the genitals open to stimulation.

It’s also good to start with the receiving partner lying down rather than standing up as it’s less intense.

4. Build up to the first forced orgasm

Take some time to tease your partner before taking them all the way. You can start out with more gentle stimulation to slowly build arousal and even focus on other areas of the body first.

As the dominant partner, you can also build anticipation with how you speak to them. What you say will vary depending on what you and your partner agreed upon and if you are also acting out a particular roleplay scenario.

However, some common themes include you being in total control of their body, being their master/mistress, knowing what’s best for them, and them having no choice in when they get to orgasm.

5. Going for multiple forced orgasms

If you and your partner agreed to multiple forced orgasms, you can continue the scene after the first climax.

You might need to decrease the intensity of stimulation to find the sweet spot of being slightly uncomfortable without being overwhelming or painful.

Before moving onto multiple orgasms, the Dom should check in with their sub to make sure they are open to more stimulation and orgasms.

6. Aftercare

Aftercare is a crucial aspect of the scene, as it helps you both ease out the intense experience. It also reduces the intensity of sub-drop and dom-drop, which is the emotional come-down you can experience after these intense forms of play.

Forced orgasm scenes can be mentally and physically exhausting, especially multiple climaxes, so it’s a good idea to have something to eat or drink.

You can also spend some time reconnecting and returning to your usual dynamic with each other by cuddling, touching, or holding hands.

When you have both adjusted a little, you can also discuss how to the scene went, what feelings came up, if you would like to try it again, and what you would do differently.

Forced Orgasm Role Play Ideas

Forced orgasms often fit well into consensual non-consent roleplay scenarios. While you might consider the morality of these types of fantasy and taking part in CNC roleplay, it’s actually a very common fantasy. And, as it is taking place between two consenting adults, it’s a totally acceptable form of play.

When we deconstruct the CNC fantasy, it becomes a little easier to see why many people are attracted to it. The idea of giving up control during sex and having a partner focus solely on making you orgasm can be very arousing. Not to mention, it deals with a taboo subject, and we all know the excitement of breaking a taboo can be very sexually exciting!

Here are some common themes you might want to explore:

  • Doctor and patient
  • Boss and employee
  • Master and slave
  • Burglar/intruder and victim
  • Corrupt police officer

How to Talk to Your Partner About Trying Forced Orgasms

If the idea of forced orgasms has sparked some excitement for you, but you aren’t sure how to bring it up with your play partner, I’ve got you! Here are my top tips for explaining your interest and opening the conversation around forced orgasms:

  • Choose a time when you both feel connected and relaxed to bring the topic up.
  • Share that you’ve found an idea that you think would be fun to explore with them. You can also show them this guide and give them time to read about forced orgasm play. 
  • Tell them why you want to try it. 
  • Give them time to think about it more and do their own research. 
  • Listen to any concerns your partner might have and be open to doing more research together. 
  • If you partner decides they are not into it, respect their no!

What is Orgasm Torture and Orgasm Control?

Orgasm torture and orgasm control are used in BDSM to explore orgasms can be taken to more extreme levels. One aspect is power play, the Dominant partner being in total control of how, when, and how often their partner climaxes, and another is playing with overstimulation to cause some level of discomfort.

Here are some different types of orgasm control aside from forced orgasms:

  • Edging, also known as orgasm control, involves bringing your partner almost to the point of orgasm but stopping before you reach climax. You then let your arousal decrease before building it up again. This process is repeated over and over, creating a delicious tease and often leading to more intense orgasms when the Dom allows it!
  • Post-Orgasm torture and overstimulation kinks both involve continuing stimulation after an orgasm when the genitals are hypersensitive, resulting in discomfort. Post orgasm torture puts more of a focus on the discomfort or even sometimes painful element of this type of play. 
  • Orgasm denial is the opposite of forced orgasms. In this type of play, the dominant partner will tease their sub without letting them orgasm, keeping them in a state of high arousal without giving them the release of an orgasm. 

So that concludes today’s explainer on the in’s and out’s of forced orgasm play! I hope you come away with a clearer view of this often misunderstood corner of BDSM and how to enjoy it enjoy it safely!