Much like squirting, multiple orgasms and how to have them seem to be shrouded in mystery! Do they exist? Can everyone do it? Does a genie grant you endless wishes if you orgasm five times in one session? Ok, I made the last one up, and I can attest it is, unfortunately, not true! Fortunately, though, multiple orgasms do exist! While they don’t come naturally to everyone, there are some tips and tricks to learning how to have multiple orgasms.
Also contrary to popular belief, anyone, regardless of whether they have a vulva or penis, can have multiple orgasms. In general, it’s more difficult for people with penises, but by no means impossible. More on that at the end of the post! Now we’ll dive into the tips and techniques needed for vulva owners and how their partners can help.
How to Have Multiple Orgasms Alone
There are a lucky few out there who had such skillful lovers that they discovered their multiple orgasmic powers by accident during partnered sex, but they are the exceptions! Hell, a lot of vulva owners struggle to reach the big once during partnered sex, let alone being able to ride a wave of continuous orgasms!
It’s always easier to master a new trick without the pressure of another person watching, and it’s no different in the bedroom. Giving yourself the time and space to practice by yourself will help you relax and get to know your body’s responses.
One of the main challenges in having multiple orgasms is that the majority of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to climax, but the clitoris can become overstimulated after the first orgasm. This sensitivity can make it uncomfortable or even painful to keep stimulating your clitoris. If that’s the case, multiple orgasms can still be on the cards, but you might need a different approach.
Tips and Techniques for Multiple Orgasms
- Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, as this can make it harder to climax. Instead, enjoy exploring the possibilities your body has to offer and enjoy the journey!
- Take time to get yourself fully aroused. Stroke the most sensitive parts of your body or give your nips some attention. Engage your brain and get yourself hot and bothered with some ethical porn or audio erotica. This tells your brain it’s time for pleasure.
- After you have had your first orgasm, take a brief break from stimulating your clitoris, but keep your arousal heightened by stimulating other areas, such as your nipples or vagina. Then you can switch back to clitoral stimulation once it is a little less sensitive.
- If you can orgasm in different ways, try to have two (or more) of different kinds. For example, you could have a clitoral orgasm followed by a g-spot, anal, or nipple orgasm! This could be a good tactic if you find your clitoris is too sensitive after the first orgasm.
- If you are using a sex toy, like a bullet vibrator, or magic wand vibrator, try starting out with an orgasm on a lower setting and then, after a small rest, go for round two on a higher setting.
- If you have two different types of toys, you could try switching to a different type of stimulation after your first orgasm. For example, have your first orgasm with a vibrator and follow it up with a clitoral suction toy for orgasm number 2.
- Use your pelvic floor muscles. In general, keeping your pelvic floor muscles in shape is great for your ability to orgasm. You can also try tensing your pelvic floor as you continue stimulation after your first orgasm to encourage a second.
- Use other sex toys to help increase arousal and stimulation. Butt plugs provide anal stimulation and help intensify vaginal stimulation. Nipple clamps and nipple suckers are also fantastic for some added hands-free stimulation.
What to do if the tips and tricks don’t work?
If you don’t succeed the first time or the third time for that matter, don’t be hard on yourself! It can take time to figure out what your body needs and for your body to learn how to manage so much stimulation. Not to mention, your ability to climax changes from day to day, so have a go another time!
How to Give Your Partner Multiple Orgasms
Seeing your partner completely lost in the ecstasy of orgasm and knowing you that’s because of your handywork is an almost intoxicating feeling! Once you’ve mastered that, you might want to try taking it a step further by helping them have multiple orgasms! If you’re wondering how to give a woman multiple orgasms, you’ve come to the right place.
But, before we get started, there are some important things to bear in mind:
- Talk to your partner about it at a neutral time beforehand. You could say something along the lines of ‘I love making you orgasm and I’d to try giving you more than one next time.’ This gives them time to think about it and discuss any boundaries with you.
- If they have had multiple orgasms before, asking them exactly what they did and try to use a similar technique.
- Your partner might not have multiple orgasms, especially the first time you try. Don’t be discouraged or disappointed. Try to focus on enjoying this intimate experience rather than making it an achievement.
How to give multiple female orgasms step by step
- Build arousal — the more turned on your partner is, the better their body will be prepared for having an orgasm/multiple orgasms. Appeal to all their senses, and don’t head directly for their genitals, but instead, explore their whole body.
- After they’ve had their first orgasm, they will most likely need a small break. Rather than stopping completely, aim to keep them aroused by touching other areas of their body.
- Ask your partner what type of stimulation they want next. Some vulva owners find their clitoris too sensitive to touch after the first orgasm, so you might want to try stimulating their g-spot instead or they might need a lighter touch, building up slowly to more intensity.
- Enlist the help of your partner’s favorite sex toys! This powerful alliance can be the magic combination in giving your partner multiple orgasms, especially if they need more intense stimulation to reach the second orgasm. It also saves you from getting too tired! Clitoral suction stimulators and magic wand vibrators are both great options!
- Pay attention to your partner’s body language. If they move their body away from you or make a sharp breathing noise, they might be feeling too sensitive or need some more time to rest. If they are arching their back, pushing their vulva into you, and their breathing is getting heavy, they are most likely enjoying what you are doing. However, as always, the only way to know is to ask!
- Pay attention to their orgasm cues. When they are almost at the point of orgasm, make sure to keep the stimulation going. If you slow down or ease off, the orgasm might subside. You should also try not to stop instantly when they start to climax. Instead, keep the stimulation going unless they tell you to stop.
Don’t forget the aftercare!
Make sure to spend some time connecting with your partner after. Orgasms release a cocktail of chemicals in the body. Aftercare can help balance these extreme feelings and help them ease out of this heightened state. Cuddling, chatting, holding hands, or having something to eat or drink are all fantastic aftercare activities. This is also the perfect time to reflect on your experiences — what did you both enjoy and what would you do differently next time?
What About for People With Penises?
Ok, so I mentioned at the beginning of the article that it is possible for penis owners to have multiple orgasms, but it is more difficult. The reason for this is that after ejaculating, penis owners have a refractory period, in which they are physically and/or psychologically unable to engage in sex again. The key to multiple orgasms here is getting around the refractory period — yes, it’s difficult, but not impossible!
There are a few different ways to avoid going into the refractory period and both involve separating orgasm from ejaculation. This is a little-known gem that even many penis owners don’t know is possible! Here are two ways to try:
1. Have a Prostate Orgasm
The prostate is a small gland that can be stimulated anally using your fingers, a prostate massaging toy, or a curved anal dildo. With some practice, you might find that you can have a prostate-only orgasm, without full ejaculating. You might even find you can have a prostate orgasm without having an erection. If you find you are able to do this, you can then go on to have a penile orgasm after. Voila! Multiple orgasms!
2. Train Yourself to Orgasm Without Ejaculation
This takes some time and effort to achieve but it’s worth the payoff! Not only does being able to orgasm without ejaculation open you up to multiple orgasms, but it also improves your stamina for longer-lasting partner sex! It’s always best to practice this during solo play, as you need to be able to focus on your body’s subtle cues and not get too lost in the moment.
- Practice edging by bringing yourself almost to the point of orgasm and then letting the feeling subside but taking a small break in stimulation, before picking up stimulation again. This practice will help you get to know the cues that signal you are about to reach the point of no return.
- When you get to the point of orgasm, squeeze your pelvic floor muscles to try and stop your ejaculation. This can take some time to master, and you might need to first locate your pelvic floor muscles and then train them. With more practice, try to create more time between the feeling of orgasm and ejaculation, so your brain and body learn to separate the two.
- Keep practicing until you can separate your orgasm from ejaculation! This can take months to learn, so be patient with yourself and enjoy the process!