How to Last Longer in Bed: 22 Tips for Longer, More Satisfying Sex
By Isabelle Uren / January 27, 2023
At some point in their life, most penis owners will wonder how to last longer in bed. Whether you want to give yourself more time to enjoy sex or you are worried about pleasing your partner, there are lots of ways you can work on increasing your sexual stamina.
This post is packed full of tips and tricks for extending your sex sesh so everyone gets more of the good stuff!
Here’s what you can learn in this post:
- How to last longer — tips to use during sex
- How to last longer — training techniques and long-term changes
- Do you really need to last longer to have better sex?
How to last longer in bed — tips to use during sex
We’re going to kick off with some more quick fix techniques you can try in the moment to prolong sex! Some of these will focus on physically delaying ejaculation, while others will be more about extending your steamy sesh with other pleasure maximizing activities!
1. Use the squeeze technique
Once you feel you are close to ejaculating, pull out of your partner and squeeze your frenulum — where the head meets the shaft until the feeling subsides.
The pressure prevents the ejaculate from coming out. On top of that, the break in sexual activity brings your arousal level back down.
While this is a pretty straightforward technique, it can be difficult to find the right timing and pressure, so it’s best to practice on your own a few times first.
2. Stop start technique or edging
Edging involves letting your sexual arousal increase until you feel like you are almost on the edge on an orgasm and then stopping stimulation, allowing your arousal to decrease. As well as stopping all stimulation, you can take some deep, calming breaths, then once your level of arousal has decreased, you can start working your way up again.
You can do this once or many times and people often find this has the added bonus of giving them a really powerfully satisfying climax when they do get there! This is another one, I would recommend practising alone first as it can be a learning curve to master the timing.
3. Wear a condom
Wearing a condom can reduce some of the sensation to your penis, helping you to last longer.
If you want to maximise the effect, look for ones marketed as thick or extra safe as they will provide the thickest barrier between you and your partner.
You can also find condoms with numbing agents in them that further reduce your sensitivity and allow you to last longer.
4. Use a penis sleeve
Cock sleeves reduce sensation to your penis by creating a barrier between you and your partner. They also increase the length and girth of your penis and can create more stimulation for your partner.
This reduced sensitivity can help you enjoy penetrative sex for longer. Plus, when you want to cum, you can slip it off to enjoy maximum sensation again!
There are many different types of cock sleeves, such as realistic penis sleeves or ribbed penis sleeves that add more sensation for your partner!
Check out our guide on how to use a cock sleeve for more inspiration!
5. Use delay spray or delay wipes
Delay sprays and delay wipes contain numbing agents that reduce sensation and allow you to enjoy more stimulation before you reach your climax threshold.
Just make sure to let the spray dry before getting down to it, so you don’t transfer any on to your partner — sharing isn’t caring here!
With, Hims, you can order their Clockstopper Climax Delay Wipes and Climax Delay Spray online or even set up a monthly plan so you are always stocked up!
6. Spend more time on foreplay
For most penis owners, the issue they are concerned about is not lasting long enough during penetrative sex. However, this might not be an issue at all if you spend you more time enjoying outercourse (foreplay) with your partner.
You can also alternate between intercourse and outercourse. For example, enjoy some penetration and then as you feel your arousal getting closer to orgasm, switch to giving your partner some oral sex until your arousal lowers enough.
For some hot foreplay ideas for to please a partner with a vulva check out the best ways to eat pussy and how to finger a woman.
If you find yourself getting too excited and close to orgasm during foreplay, try to focus your attention on your partner’s pleasure.
7. Switch positions
Start off with less stimulating positions that don’t involve a lot of thrusting. Opt for positions that allow for more grinding and avoid the urge to thrust. Cowgirl, the lotus, and sitting on a chair with your partner on top are all great grinding positions.
These positions also make it easier for vulva owners to get more stimulation as they can rub their clitoris against your pubic mound.
Alternatively, you or your partner can use your fingers or a bullet vibrator for more intense clit stimulation, helping them to orgasm faster.
8. Slow down your breathing
As we get more aroused and approach, our breathing tends to become fast and shallow and our muscles start to tense.
This type of breathing tells the brain we are getting close to having an orgasm.
Taking slow, deep breaths, on the other hand, can have the opposite effect by put your brain and body into a more relaxed state.
9. Masturbate before sex
Ok so this one needs a bit of advance preparation but can be a great way to enjoy longer sessions. Masturbating before having sex can bring your sensitivity and orgasm threshold down.
This works best if you have a good understanding of how long your refractory period lasts. This is the time between having an orgasm and being able to get an erection again and it can vary a lot from person to person.
Once you know your refractory period, you can time your solo sesh with when you think you are going to have sex.
10. Ride out your refractory period
If you know your refractory period is relatively short and you want to have a long sex sesh, you can let yourself cum early in the session, and then spend your refractory period enjoying other types of intimacy until you are ready for round two.
You can use the time in between to focus your attention on your partner. Try giving them a sexy massage, or if they have a vulva, try out some these amazing ways to make her cum!
11. Use a cock ring
Stretchy penis rings can help keep you harder for longer by helping to trap more blood in the penis.
There are many different types of cock rings, but I would recommend trying either a stretchy cock ring or an adjustable cock ring if you are looking to enhance your erection.
Rabbit cock rings are also a great option if your partner has a vulva, as the added clitoral stimulation can help them to reach orgasm faster.
You can also use a cock ring with a penis pump to help encourage more blood flow into your penis to begin with.
Check out our full guide on how to wear a cock ring for more detailed instructions!
12. The distraction method
This is the old classic method of distracting your mind with a boring task or non-sexual topic to bring your arousal levels down.
While it can be helpful if you are really in need in the moment, it’s not something I would recommend as a long-term solution.
Long-term, it’s much better to focus on being more present during sex and masturbation so you can learn your body’s cues and work with them.
Distracting yourself and taking yourself out of the moment also means you interrupt the feelings of connection with your partner, which can detract from the quality of sex both partners.
How to Last Longer — Techniques to Practice Long-Term
As well as employing the techniques above during sex, there are some more long-term changes and practices that can help you enjoy longer and more satisfying sex.
13. Practice mindful masturbation
Mindful masturbation involves practicing connecting more with your body and the sensations you feel as you masturbate.
Start with some slow calming breaths and touch yourself on other areas of your body and notice your arousal slowly building.
As you move onto to touching your penis, don’t go straight in for the kill. Take it slowly, stimulate different areas and pay attention to how it feels and which areas are most sensitive.
When you do start stroking your penis, really take notice of your body’s reactions as you get more aroused and closer to orgasm, so you get better at recognising when you are reaching the point of no return.
This is also a great way to practice your edging skills!
14. Take an online course
Beducated have an amazing selection of courses to help you get more out your sex life, including this on to deal with premature ejaculation and how to last longer during sex!
The course covers the possible causes of premature ejaculation as well as techniques to use alone and with your partner.
Plus, you can take the course from the comfort of your own home and you get access to all their amazing courses when you sign up!
15. Switch up your masturbation habits
If you usually just get to it and make yourself cum as quickly as possible using just your hand, you are creating an association between pleasure and cumming quickly.
Practice enjoying some solo foreplay to learn how to enjoy the earlier stages of arousal and slow-building pleasure.
You can also try building your tolerance for higher levels of stimulation using sex toys. Pocket pussies and anal fleshlights are textured to feel like your partner’s anus or vagina, giving you some practice in controlling your arousal with more lifelike sensations.
16. How to last longer with pelvic floor exercises
The pelvic floor muscles play an important role in pleasure for both vulva and penis owners and can impact the both the duration of your erection and the quality of your orgasm.
A study of 40 males with premature ejaculation found that 82.5% of the participants were able to gain ejaculatory control after following a twelve-week pelvic floor rehabilitation protocol.
Once you have gained more control, you might be able to stop ejaculation by squeezing your pelvic floor muscles. This is similar to the squeeze technique at the beginning of the post but less intrusive.
How to do pelvic floor exercises:
- Identify the correct muscles. While peeing, squeeze to stop the flow. These muscles are your pelvic floor muscles. Do not repeat exercises while you are peeing as this can create bad urination habits.
- Sitting, lying or standing, squeeze your pelvic floor muscles, as you did above and hold for 3-5 seconds. Make sure you are only tensing your PF muscles and not your buttocks or abdominal muscles and continue to breathe normally.
- Fully relax your PF muscles and take 5 seconds rest.
- Try to do 3 sets of 10 repetitions each day.
17. Speak to a medical professional about how to last longer
If you think you are suffering from premature ejaculation, it’s always a good idea to speak to a medical professional. They can identify any underlying causes and come up with an appropriate treatment plan.
Forhims offers a fully online service that connects you to a medical professional who can assess your situation. They can then put together a personalised treatment plan, including prescribing PE medication where appropriate.
18. Train with MYHIXEL
Last longer in bed naturally with MYHIXEL — an app integrated, gamified program to help you gain control over your climax!
The MYHIXEL device heats to create more realistic training conditions and features gentle vibrations for added sensation. And, as you complete the training tasks you progress through the game.
The MYHIXEL TR is designed for people who can already last three minutes but they also have MYHIXEL MED program for anyone who tends to last less than three minutes.
19. Reframe your ideas about sex
Whether we are conscious of it or not, many of us associate sex with the goal of having an orgasm. Instead of focussing only on penetrative sex, experiment with other ways to feel pleasure with your partner.
Plus, orgasm also doesn’t have to signal the end of sex! You can continue to pleasure your partner after you orgasm if they haven’t climaxed yet and want to!
Letting go of these ideas and making pleasure and connection the central focus of sex can lead to better sex for everyone involved!
It also takes away the performance anxiety, which can make it harder to gain ejaculatory control.
20. Learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation
This one can take quite a bit of time and dedication, but it really pays off! Orgasm and ejaculation are actually two separate events and being able to orgasm without ejaculating means you can continue having sex without being put out of action by the refractory period.
Not to mention, you can then enjoy multiple orgasms and some even report longer lasting, full body orgasms!
How to do separate orgasm from ejaculation:
- It helps if you can masturbate for longer periods of time and already have good control of your pelvic floor muscles, so start by practicing edging and pelvic floor exercises.
- Masturbate until you almost reach the point of no return and then tense your pelvic floor muscles to stop your ejaculation. Keep practicing this to fine tune your technique.
- As you get to know your arousal levels better and get better at stopping your ejaculation, gradually get closer to ejaculation before stopping it by squeezing your pelvic floor and taking some deep breaths.
- Keep going until you can practice the technique just on the brink of ejaculation. With continual practice, you can learn to orgasm at this point without ejaculation.
21. Improve your overall health
Your overall health, including things like maintaining a healthy weight and cardiovascular health, has an impact on your sex life.
Staying active and eating a healthy diet are both going to help you improve the quality or your erections and sex life overall!
22. Try an app designed to help you last longer
Yes, there’s an app for that! Multiple apps actually! If you like a bit more structure to your workout and want to track your gains, you can use an app designed to help with premature ejaculation.
Most apps use a combination of the techniques in this post to create a training programme for you to follow and allow you to track your progress as you go.
PEA (premature ejaculation app) has three levels of training to help you get your masturbation time up to past 10 minutes.
Do you really need to last longer to have better sex?
I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t train your sexual stamina if you want to — hell I’ve written a whole post about how to do it!
What I am saying is that you might not be cumming too quickly at all, and that in many cases, tweaking your approach to sex can have bigger improvements that being able to thrust with wild abandon for hours on end — FYI I’m yet to meet anyone that wants this!
What is the normal time for a man last during sex?
There is no definitive “normal” amount time for a penis owner to ejaculate and there’s a lot of variation from person to person and depending on the activity. A study of 500 heterosexual couples found the average time from beginning PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex to ejaculation was 5.4 minutes. The average time was longer for younger participants and shorter for older participants.
What counts as premature ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation tends be classified as persistently lasting less than one minute during intercourse and should be diagnosed by a medical professional.
How long does it take women to orgasm?
One study found it takes on average 14 minutes for women to orgasm during hetersexual partnered sex, with another study finding similar results of 13.41 seconds. In my opinion, this time discrepancy presents more a logistics problem than a stamina one, especially considering most vulva owners climax from clitoral stimulation rather than penetrative sex!
Sexual stamina vs sex logistics
I think that for many penis owners, the problem isn’t necessarily to do with sexual stamina but with how we view and approach sex. The ideas that sex equals penetration and orgasm is the goal and natural end point of sex limit access to pleasure for both partners and put a lot of pressure on getting your orgasm “just right.”
When we let go of these ideas, broaden our concept of sex and focus more on pleasure, how quickly you cum no longer dictates how good sex is for you or your partner! When you no longer see penetration as the main event, you get to enjoy all the different types of sexual pleasure your body is capable of, which naturally leads to sex that lasts longer and is more satisfying!