How to Give a Sensual, Sexy Massage to Remember

By Isabelle Uren / October 31, 2022

Sensual, intimate and oh so sexy! Mastering the art of the sexy massage is incredible for enhancing physical and emotional intimacy. Not to mention, the slow build up can lead to some pretty incredible orgasms!

Here’s what you’ll learn in this complete guide to sexy massage:

How to give a sexy massage — the sparknotes version:

In a rush? Here are the key elements of a great massage. But don’t worry, we’ve got more detailed instructions too! Just scroll down for step-by-step instructions for a truly sensational sexy massage!

Before you get started, check with your partner to see if there are any body parts that need extra attention or are off limits.

  1. Create a relaxing setting — You’ll need a clean and tidy space with dim lighting, sensual aromas, and a relaxing playlist.
  2. Prepare your massage candle or oils and lubrication.
  3. Start on the upper back of the body, using long soft strokes, followed by more intense massage in the muscly areas.
  4. Massage the buttocks and down the legs.
  5. Move onto the upper front body. Massage the scalp, chest, and sides of the stomach.
  6. Move on to the lower body, massaging down each leg and back up to the inner thighs.
  7. Tease around the genital area to build arousal before moving on to direct stimulation.
  8. Use your hands, mouth, or sex toys to slowly build the intensity of stimulation until your partner reaches the big O.
  9. Wrap your partner in a cosy blanket and time to enjoy their post-massage, post-orgasmic bliss!

Top tips for an even better sexy massage

  • Don’t rush. Let your partner really enjoy each part of the massage and relax into it.
  • Use different parts of your body to give the massage — hands, fingertips, thumbs, forearms, mouth and even boobs!
  • Try to keep contact between your bodies during the massage and keep flowing movements.
  • Warm your massage oil and lube by placing the whole bottle in some warm water.
  • Start your massage with some eye gazing or synchronised breathing to deepen your connection.
  • If you are giving the massage, focus on bathing your partner in loving energy.
  • Use sex toys you can heat, like glass wands or steel dildos or self-heating dildos for a more sensual feeling.
  • Draw out the pleasure and experiment with edging, building your partner up almost to the point of orgasm, letting the sensation subside and building them up again.

My top sexy massage accessories

While you don’t need any special tools or accessories to give your partner a sexy massage, they can really add to the luxury of the experience!

Liberator Fascinator Throw

The Fascinator Throw from Liberator is sensually soft and waterproof! Perfect for protecting your sheets.

Lovehoney Oh! Vanilla Massage Candle

Enjoy the sensual aromas as you drizzle the warm oil on your partner’s body with this massage candle from Lovehoney!

Lora DiCarlo Sway Heating Vibrator

The Sway from Lora DiCarlo is a double-ended vibrator that also heats up, encouraging blood flow and feeling incredibly luxurious!

How to give a sexy massage — a step by step explanation

Set the scene

Spending a little time preparing your space will allow you both to fully relax and enjoy the experience!

  • Clean and tidy the area and get rid of any clutter.
  • Create soft lighting with candles and lamps.
  • Diffuse relaxing scents like lavender, ylang ylang, or chamomile.
  • Find a relaxing playlist on Spotify or make your own.
  • Make sure your space is warm.
  • Put down a sex blanket or other soft blanket on the bed to make it cosy and protect your sheets.

Prepare your massage oils or massage candle

Massage oils help your hands glide over your partner’s skin and leave their skin feeling soft. Look for massage oils or candles that contain skin nourishing oils and relaxing scents.

  • If you are using a massage candle, light it and allow the oils to melt.
  • If you are using oil, place the whole bottle in a bowl of warm water to warm the oil.
  • Do the same with your favorite lube!
  • It’s also a good idea to have something to wipe the oil off your hands when you transition to genital massage

Massage the upper back of your partner’s body

Start your sexy massage with your partner lying on their stomach. You can cover your partner’s lower body with a towel or blanket to keep them warm while you massage their back.

  • Start with long sweeping strokes, using the flat of your hands to spread the oil over their back, stroking either side of the spine.
  • Then move on to deeper massage of muscles at the sides of the lower back and the shoulders, using your thumbs to work into the muscle.
  • Work up their back to their neck, massaging either side of the neck.
  • Then move on to massaging down the arms to the hands. You can massage into the muscle at the base of the thumb and gently, squeeze along each finger, giving a little tug at the end.

Massage the back of the lower body

  • Massage the lower back, using the flat of your hand to spread outwards from the center. You can also use a twisting motion across the lower back.
  • Then you can move down to massaging the buttocks and down the legs.
  • At this point you can graze the inner thighs to give your partner a tingle of excitement but don’t go further than that yet!
  • Once you’ve worked down the legs, you can give your a foot massage if your partner likes.

Give a sensual head and scalp massage

Have your partner roll onto their back. Release tension and give your partner tingles of pleasure by massaging their head and scalp.

  • Use your thumb to massage from the middle of the eyebrows up and outwards over the forehead.
  • Massage circles over their scalp using the tips of your fingers.
  • Grasp their hair between your fingers and gently pull their hair away from their head.
  • Massage their earlobes between your thumb and forefinger.
  • Cover their neck in sensual kisses, paying special attention to the sweet spot just below the ears.
  • If you like dirty talk, nows a good time to whisper something in their ear!

Massage their chest

Have your partner roll over onto their back and continue the sexy massage on the front of their body.

  • Move down to massaging the front of the shoulders and upper arms. Use sweeping strokes over their collar bone and squeeze the muscles in their upper shoulder.
  • Move onto a sensual chest massage, starting with big circles and gently working inwards to the nipples. If your partner enjoys nipple play, you can take their nipples between your thumb and forefinger and gently squeeze and twist the nipples or even use your mouth to suck and nibble on the nipple as you massage their chest — yes it’s starting to hot up now!
  • Massage down the side of the stomach with flat hands to minimise the risk of tickling!

Massage the front lower body

  • Now you can start to think about really building arousal!
  • Run your hands down your partner’s thighs, massaging into the muscles and dipping between their legs to give them a taste of what’s to come!
  • When you’ve worked down the whole the leg, you can move back to the upper thigh, focussing in on the inner thigh area, starting with slow, almost tickling strokes and moving onto to more intense kneading.

Build the anticipation

Now we are getting to the really sexy part of the massage! Remember to wipe the massage oil off your hands and switch to lube for this part of the massage, especially if you are massaging a vulva owner!

  • Take it slowly and stroke the whole area around your partner’s penis or vulva, tracing your fingers around the outside to build anticipation.
  • Use your hands to slowly part their legs and then breath warm air over their penis or vulva.
  • Use a light stroking motion with a finger or two to trace either up the length of their penis or between their labia.
  • Sensually kiss the areas around before moving onto kissing their penis or vulva.
  • Don’t forget to show the testicles and taint some love, if they enjoy it, of course! Massaging the perineum can stimulate the prostate in penis owners, which can feel intensely pleasurable!

Finish your sexy massage with the big O

How you finish off the massage is entirely up to your preferences, but here are some ideas. Again, don’t rush this! Let your partner savour every last delicious sensation!

  • Keep going with your hands, giving your partner a hand job or stimulating their clit and g-spot at the same time. Remember to use plenty of lube.
  • Switch to oral sex, using your hands to keep massaging their thigh, butt, or chest.
  • Use any sex toys that your partner would like.
  • Once your partner has had an orgasm and the sexy massage is over, place a cosy blanket over them and let them really enjoy that post-orgasm, post-massage glow!