How to Use a Vibrator During Sex

By Isabelle Uren / May 11, 2022

When it comes to using a vibrator during sex, your imagination really is the limit! That being said, there are some tried and tested techniques that allow you to get your buzz on without sacrificing the intimacy of sex with your partner, and that’s what we’re going to cover today! 

Vibrators are a great way to add some excitement to partner sex. They also allow for some powerful clitoral stimulation for vulva owners. The orgasm gap is real, and it’s time to leave that behind! Vulva owners deserve pleasure equality and vibrators can definitely help with that! 

As well as taking a look at the best vibrators and how to use them during PIV (penis in vagina) sex, I’ll also give you some great options for incorporating vibrators into anal and oral sex, so there’s something for everyone! 

How to use a vibrator during vaginal sex with a penis or dildo

Coming up, we’ll look at the different types of vibrators, how to use them during sex, and some prime positions to try out!

We-Vibe Tango X
We-Vibe Tango X

Bullet Vibrator

Bullet vibrators can pack a surprising amount of power. They are also small enough to slip in between two bodies and easy to maneuver. The pinpoint stimulation is perfect for delivering delicious vibrations exactly where you want them. However, this precision stimulation can make it more difficult for a partner to find the right spot, so you might want to control your own bullet vibe.

Bullet vibes are small enough that you can one in pretty much any position. They are particularly good in rear-entry positions, such as spooning or standing, as you have easy access to your clit.

My top pick for the best bullet vibrator without a doubt goes to the We-Vibe Tango X. Read just how much our sex toy expert, Rachel, loved it in her full review of the We-Vibe Tango X.

C-shape vibrators

Getting a c-shape vibrator was an absolute game-changer for me! Not only do they stimulate both the external and internal clitoris/g-spot, but they also stimulate your partner’s penis. Everyone’s a winner baby! Not to mention, they are totally hands-free, making for a more intimate experience.

Cowgirl and other riding positions are fantastic for c-shape vibrators. The grinding motion pushes the external part against your clitoris for sustained contact.

I love my We-Vibe Chorus so much! It has incredibly rumbly vibrations, and the squeeze remote makes it easy to control the settings in the heat of the moment! Read my full review of the We-Vibe Chorus for more info!

We-Vibe Chorus
Mantric Rechargeable Wand Vibrator
Mantric Wand Vibrator

Wand Vibrators

The OG vibrator and porn favorite — wand vibrators are absolute powerhouses of stimulation! Offering rumbly vibes, broad stimulation, and long handles, they are a great option for adding in some clit stimulation during sex. The wide heads also make then easier for a partner to use on you.

It can be incredibly hot to have your partner use a wand on you during sex, so you can just relax and enjoy the added stimulation. Lying on your back at the edge of the bed while your partner stands and penetrates you gives them easy access to your clitoris.

Magic wands are also a fantastic addition to bondage. Why not pair yours with some under-bed restraints or a leg spreader. You get to lie back and enjoy and your partner gets the power to tease and please as they desire!

While corded wand vibrators tend to offer more power, they can be a bit cumbersome to use during sex. This rechargeable wand from Mantric has strong vibrations and a curved handle, making it easier to handle in a range of positions!

Vibrating Cock Rings

Vibrating cock rings are another great way to get some hands-free clit stimulation during penetrative sex. Worn over a penis or dildo, these rings have a vibrator that rests against your clitoris. The silicone ring also helps to restrict blood flow out of the penis, for a harder, longer-lasting erection!

Cowgirl is a great sex position for rocking a cock ring as you can adjust your position to make sure the vibrating part sits against your clitoris. The grinding movement will also help maximize contact and limit the chances of the ring sliding around.

The clitoral stimulator on the Tenga SVR is nice and big, making it easier to reach and stimulate the clit. It’s also made of lovely soft silicone that stretches for easy application!

Tenga SVR (Smart Vibe Ring)

How to Use a Vibrator During Vulva-Vulva Sex

On top of all the different types of vibrators we’ve already looked at, there are some that are designed specifically for vulva-vulva sex. They offer a way for both partners to get the stimulation they crave!

Scissoring Vibrator

This innovative vibrator from lesbian-owned brand Wet for Her is designed for terrific tribbing! Wear the bulb on the outside for increased contact between you and your partner or on the inside for some extra g-spot stimulation!

The RockHer Scissoring Vibrator is waterproof, and it comes with a remote control, making it easy to switch between the 10 different vibration settings.

Wet for Her RockHer scissoring vibe
Union from Wet for Her

Double-Ended Vibrator

Double-ended vibrators mean both parties get a slice of the action! Vibrating strapless strap-ons are a popular choice as the bulb worn inside the penetrating partner’s vagina also provides stimulation!

Rider on top positions can help keep the strapless strap-on in place and also makes it easier for the receiver to control the depth and speed of the penetration. Doggy style and spooning are also great when paired with your favorite strapless strap-on vibrator!

Another fantastic sex toy from Wet for Her, the Union has a flexible core that helps it fit both of your bodies and stay firmly in place. The bullet vibrator comes with five different speeds for you both to enjoy!

How to Use a Vibrator During Anal Sex

No matter which genitals you have, using a vibrator during anal sex can really turn up the heat! For vulva owners, a vibrator is a great way to explore double penetration or get some clitoral stimulation. Penis owners can enjoy the added stimulation of vibrating butt plug while they please their partner.

Lifelike Lover Luxe Vibrating Warming Realistic Dildo

Add in a vibrator for double penetration

Double penetration gives an amazing feeling of fullness and can increase the sensation in the vagina due to the pressure on the vaginal wall. And luckily, you don’t need to find a third person, unless you want to of course! Using a vibrator in your vagina while your partner penetrates you anally, allows you to explore your fantasies and really max out on sensations!

Doggy style is a classic for anal sex, but spooning or sitting on a chair can make it easier to control your vibrator.

While any vibrator will do the trick, a classic dildo vibrator can help give your double penetration experience a little more realism! The Lifelike Lover Luxe from Lovehoney offers warming and vibrations. It’s also a more modest size, making it perfect for double penetration.

A Vibrator for two penis partnerships!

Vibrations can add a little excitement to any kind of sex! Cock rings with a vibrating butt plug are a great way to add some extra sensations to anal sex between two people with penises.

As they are unlikely to move around, these work well in all kinds of positions. The cock ring can also give your erection a little boost, helping you last longer!

The B-Vibe Vibrating Snug & Tug is a cock ring butt plug combo that delivers teasing anal vibrations while you penetrate your partner!

b-Vibe Snug & Tug

Elevate Your Oral Sex with a Vibrator

Ok maybe you get the picture by now, I’m a firm believer that a vibrator can improve any type of sex! And oral sex is no exception! Using a vibrator for internal stimulation, while your partner lavishes your labia and clitoris with licks and kisses makes for some truly indulgent oral sex!

Lovense Lush 3

Egg vibrators that sit inside the vagina are perfect for this as they leave your vulva completely open for your partner.

A remote control egg vibrator is even better as you can easily switch up the vibrations without having to stop the fun. The Lovense Lush 3 was crowned the best remote control egg vibrator in our review for its amazingly powerful vibrations and in-app capabilities!

How to Talk to Your Partner About Using a Vibrator During Sex

While some partners jump at the chance to add a vibrator into the mix, some might feel apprehensive or intimidated by this buzzing third wheel. For some partners, it might seem like you are unhappy with your sex life or even a rejection of them as a lover. Communication is key here! Talking about it in a positive, reassuring way can help your partner embrace the idea. Here are my top tips for introducing the idea to your partner:

  • Reassure your partner that you love having sex with them. A vibrator is by no means a replacement — just a helping hand!
  • Explain the importance of clitoral stimulation. We have been conditioned to believe that sex equals penetrative sex, but that completely ignores the fact that the majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Sharing this information can be a great starting point for talking about using a vibrator during sex.
  • Suggest that they might also enjoy the added sensations! Depending on the type of vibrator, your partner can also enjoy the added stimulation. C-shape vibrators are great for this as they stimulate both of you at the same time – everyone’s a winner!
  • Ask your partner to help you pick a vibrator that you both like and feel comfortable using. Shopping for sex toys together can be fun and might even put you in the mood right there and then!
  • Reassure your partner that it’s ok if they are unsure how to use a vibrator on you — it will be a fun learning curve for you both!