No doubt you would have heard something about this technique and it’s supposed power to unlock new and dizzying heights of pleasure but you might still be wandering what is edging and does it really work?
Well, you’re in the right place! Today we are talking all things sexual edging! What it is, how to edge yourself, how to edge a partner, and why people like it so much!
Here’s everything you can learn in this post:
- What is edging?
- Who can practice edging?
- What are the benefits of edging?
- Edging techniques + the best sex toys for edging
- BDSM & edging
- Is Edging safe?
What is Edging?
Sexual edging, sometimes known as “orgasm control” or “peaking,” is a sexual technique that can help you draw out and really savor an extended period of arousal without reaching an orgasm. This ‘edge’ of orgasmic release is ridden almost to the point of no return before letting the feeling subside and slowly building it up again.
With a regular orgasm, generally arousal steadily increases until it passes over a threshold and an orgasm happens. However with edging, you build up to high level of arousal but not quite to the point of orgasm, let the arousal subside a little and then build it back up again. You can repeat this as many times as you like before going for the big O.
This tease, playing hard to get with your own orgasm, not only lets you ride that wave of arousal for much longer, but it can lead to some explosive pleasure!
So set aside some you time, grab your lube, and get ready to explore edging!
Who can practice edging?
We’ve got good news here! Edging is an equal-opportunity activity! It doesn’t matter who you are, your sexual orientation, what genitals you have, or your relationship status. All you need is a healthy dose of curiosity and some spare time. Oh, a slick of lube wouldn’t go amiss too!
What are the benefits?
Sure, it can be great to just get straight to it and have an orgasm, but edging gives you a new way to experience pleasure and get to know your body. Here’s why edging has become so popular:
1. Enhanced sexual pleasure and stronger orgasms: Prolonging your arousal phase lets you enjoy more of the pleasurable sensations and increase arousal, which is especially great for vulva owners who need a lot of time to become aroused. These enhanced sensations can also lead to stronger, more intense orgasms for both penis owners and vulva owners!
2. Improved sexual stamina: Practicing edging can help increase how long you last. This increased stamina is especially useful for penis owners who want to last longer when having partnered sex.
3. Better orgasm control: Edging helps you understand your body’s arousal responses and climax signals. Learning the exact sensations of each stage of arousal and orgasm can help you control and delay your orgasm effectively.
4. Learn to climax without ejaculation: Some penis owners use edging to learn how to climax without ejaculation, allowing them to bypass the refractory period and have multiple orgasms.
5. Encourages sexual exploration: Trying something new, like edging, is a great way to get to know your body more intimately and tune in to what pleasure really feels like in your body.
6. Enhance intimacy with a partner: Practicing edging with a partner can help you understand each other’s arousal responses better and improve your sexual communication.
Now you know the pleasurable potential of edging, lets get down to how you can try it! While everyone can try edging there are slightly different techniques for penis and vulva owners, but don’t worry, I’ll cover both below!
On top of that, I’ve got top tips for trying edging with a partner!
But, before you get started on your sexual quest for powerful pleasure, please keep in mind that all bodies respond differently and edging can take a bit of practice, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself! Approach your edging adventure with a healthy dose of curiosity and treat is an opportunity to get to know your body more!
Regardless of which genitals you are working with, you should start by getting yourself in the mood however you like. You might want to avoid watching or listening to porn that’s likely to push you over the edge too quickly, as it can be more difficult to control your climax!
Edging techniques for penis owners
So edging for penis owners involves building arousal but stopping before the point of ejaculation.
1. Stop-Start Technique: Bring yourself close to climax, roughly an 8 or 9 on the arousal scale, and then stop all stimulation. You can also take some deep breaths to help bring your arousal down. Once your arousal has decreased, start again. Rinse and repeat!
2. The Squeeze: As you approach climax, squeeze either the base of your penis or just under the head (one finger on frenulum and your thumb on the front of your penis) for about 10-20 seconds to prevent ejaculation.
3. Balloon Technique: This technique involves stimulating the less sensitive areas of your penis to build up arousal. You should avoid the most sensitive parts, usually the glans and frenulum. When you feel close to climaxing, engage your pelvic floor muscles. This is one of the harder techniques, as it requires you to be able locate and contract your pelvic floor. This technique can result in the penis looking and feeling more swollen, hence the name ballooning.
Best edging toys for penis owners
Fun Factory Manta
The Fun Factory Manta is a vibrating stroker that features soft silicone wings that wrap around the penis. You can hold it around the base for less intense stimulation or stroke it up and down or use it on the head for a bit more intensity! Our tester loved using it with her partner!
The Lovense Gush is a soft silicone sleeve envelops your shaft and provides pleasing vibrations. The size means you can just stimulate the shaft of your penis and avoid stimulating the head, which is usually more sensitive. You can also adjust how tight it feels using your grip or the bands included.
Fun Factory Cobra Libre
The Cobra Libre is a space age looking penis vibrator that stimulates only using vibrations, so you don’t get the usual stroking stimulation many penis owners use to reach climax. This can help you enjoy a slower building arousal and make it easier to stop before you reach the point of no return or get carried away!
Edging techniques for vulva owners
For vulva owners, the focus is on finding that edge before you orgasm and bringing yourself back down again. You can repeat the process as many times as you like.
You can do this with either clitoral or internal stimulation, depending on your preferred way to reach orgasm.
I would avoid using powerful vibrators or clit suckers, especially in the beginning, as it can make it harder not to go all the way! Here’s how to try it.
1. Use your breath: Build yourself up so you are almost on the edge of an orgasm, using whichever type of stimulation you prefer. Then stop stimulation or stimulate another body part and take some deep breaths to help to disperse the build-up. Then when your arousal has subsided, you can repeat the process.
2. Circular stimulation: If you find direct clitoral stimulation pushes you too far too soon, you can try stimulating the sensitive areas around the clitoris. Use a lubricated finger or toy to stroke in circular or U-shaped motions, and as you approach orgasm, move away slightly to reduce stimulation. You could stop stimulation or stroke your labia to maintain arousal.
3. Vary pressure: As you feel the build-up to orgasm, reduce the pressure and intensity of stimulation. This allows you to maintain higher levels of arousal without tipping over the edge.
I don’t really recommend the distraction technique, where you change the focus of your thoughts, as this can take you out of the moment and detach you from the experience. It could also cause your arousal to disappear. Instead, try taking some deep breaths and imagining the feeling subsiding.
Best edging toys for vulva owners
Finger vibrators tend to have more subtle vibrations that bigger vibrators, which is great for edging. The Dame Fin sits comfortably between your fingers and is really easy to control, allowing you to focus on more on your experience. Plus you can stroke the vibrator over your labia while you take a break from clitoral stimulation.
The Lovense Ferri is a panty vibrator that attaches to your underwear using a powerful magnet. You can then connect the device to your mobile phone and control the vibrations through the app. This makes it incredibly easy to lower the intensity as you near orgasm — simply slide your finger down the screen to decrease the power!
Rather than the usual vibrations, the soft tip of the Lelo Dot oscillates. This fluttering, orbiting stimulation feels less intense than the direct pressure of a regular vibrator. I love using the Lelo Dot for edging or enjoying a slow build up and find it’s also great for having multiple orgasms as it doesn’t leave me feeling over stimulated!
How to practice edging with a partner
Edging is a fantastic way to get to know each other’s pleasure cues and responses more intimately and a fun way to enjoy a slow-building tease, followed by a powerful release when you finally let each other climax.
I highly recommend practicing edging alone first, so you can get a good understanding of how your body feels as you approach the point of no return. Without this knowledge, it’s going to difficult, if not impossible, to let your partner know when they should stop stimulation.
Here are some tips for edging with a partner:
1. Get consent and discuss boundaries: Before you get started, you should always have enthusiastic consent from your partner. You should discuss also your boundaries, such as what types of stimulation you are open to and anything that’s off-limits. You can also tell your partner what orgasm cues to look out for.
Clear communication is a must: While practicing edging, tell your partner when you are getting close to an orgasm and what you want them to do. You could also use a system, like numbers or traffic lights, to signal your arousal level to your partner.
2. Observation: Pay close attention to your partner’s reactions. You can pay attention to the small movements in their body, their breathing, and the noises they make.
3. Control: Take turns being in control. It’s an erotic dance of giving and receiving pleasure.
Incorporating into BDSM play
Edging can be a fun tool to use during power play, with the Dom taking control over their Sub’s pleasure.
This kind of edging is an intoxicating combination of sweet, sexual frustration from being able to go over the edge and orgasm and anticipation of not knowing when your partner will finally give you want. Not to mention, this giving up of power over your own pleasure can create that deep feeling of submission many people crave.
It can also be exciting for the Dom as they have the pleasure of taking charge and watching their partner enjoy their teasing!
Edging can be combined with bondage for a more intense experience.
Not only does being restrained enhance the power dynamics, but it also prevents the submissive partner from cheating and giving themselves the stimulation they need to orgasm!
The Sportsheets Under Bed Restraint System great for using during edging as it restrains the whole body and leaves the submissive partner’s open to stimulation.
Is Edging Safe?
While edging is generally considered safe and harmless, you might experience some of these things while practicing edging. However, rest assured, none of these issues are cause for concern!
1. Blue balls or blue vulva: This is the discomfort that can occur when a person becomes sexually aroused but doesn’t have an orgasm. It’s caused by blood rushing to the genitals during arousal without being released again as the cycle isn’t completed by a climax. It may be uncomfortable or painful, but it will go away.
2. Ruined orgasms: Now, you’d be right in guessing that ruined orgasms are the opposite of what we are trying to achieve here! A ruined orgasm is an orgasm that feels unsatisfying, much weaker than usual, or fizzles out instead of the usual crescendo of pleasure. And in a plot twist no one asked for, some people experience ruined orgasms when practicing edging, particularly if they don’t stop the stimulation in time. Again this isn’t anything to worry about, but it can be frustrating!