The 6 Best Wooden Spanking Paddles for Hand-Carved Thrills
How we tested and reviewed these wooden spanking paddles
The best way that I’ve found to test and review these wooden spanking paddles is to talk to people who have actually used them. Sounds simple, really, doesn’t it! I simply asked BedBible’s awesome network of freelancers what their thoughts on the wooden spanking paddles were. I then spanked things over to BedBible’s crack sex toy testing team, who looked at all aspects of these paddles. I even rated them in several key areas to make my review extra understandable – even at just a glance!
What Makes a Wooden Spanking Paddle Special?
Wooden spanking paddles are really fun and popular amongst sex lovers. But why? Well, there are several key things that make a wooden spanking paddle so great. Let’s take a look at a few of them!
- Texture – Wood has a indescribable kind of texture that makes it feel extra primal and heart pumping when it comes into contact with your skin. It’s something that draws a lot of people to wooden spanking paddles!
- Weight – Wood definitely has a reassuring weight to it. It’s not as light or airy as some plastics, but not as dense or heavy as steel and metal. It’s in the perfect ‘Goldilocks’ zone!
- Durability – One of the best things about wood is how long it lasts. Wood is naturally durable and can take a beating, so you can rest assured that no matter how hard you spank, you’re going to snap before the wood does!
- Designs – Wood can be carved and cut into all kinds of weird and wonderful designs. There’s something exciting and sexy about a perfectly carved wooden spanking paddle, and the designs are definitely easy on your eyes (if not so much on your posterior!)
Table of contents (11)
The 6 Best wooden spanking paddles in Test
Floral Engraved Spanking Paddle
This handcrafted solid wood paddle is where heavy play meets high art. Made from a single piece that is shaped, smoothed, engraved, and finished. Beautiful on the shelf, powerful on impact. The meticulously carved floral pattern leaves its mark on impact. The thickness of the wood makes for a stiff, decisive impact. Use the smooth side for prolonged spanking, use the engraved side to stamp the flesh or to grip it! Its simple but beautiful design sprouts up from the handle into a mandala-like striking point. Every edge is rounded, sanded, and finished. Give your play a touch of ritual.
If you’re looking for a well designed and absolutely beautiful wooden spanking paddle, then I’d recommend the Floral Engraved Spanking Paddle. The dark wood boasts two different sides: firstly, there is the exquisitely designed pattern, which leaves a sexy mark as it spanks. The other side is flat and smooth, offering a much more dull and thudding crack. The grip is comfortable, and the edges give into the skin for a nice, even impact. There is of course, a loop for around your wrist. The only thing that lets the Floral Engraved Spanking Paddle down is the steep price. If this was slightly more affordable, then I’d say that this review could end right here, because, in every other way, it’s a winner!
Heart Shaped Wood 'Slave' Paddle
Quick question. What features does your perfect paddle include? If you’re looking for a super-sturdy wood surface, lots of lightweight maneuverability and imprint lettering that’ll leave behind the mark of a playtime well enjoyed, look no further. Spartacus’ Heart Shaped Wood ‘Slave’ Paddle flicks and licks with sexily stinging spank-happy precision. Nice and firm in hand (and against your playmate’s skin), the ‘Slave’ Paddle is perfect for newbie paddle users and just as perfect for more experienced partners. A nice long wrist cord keeps the heart-shaped point of contact close at all times.
I’ll have to admit if you’re starting out in the world of wooden spanking paddles, and you’re looking for an easily affordable option, then the Heart Shaped Wood ‘Slave’ Paddle is a pretty solid choice. It’s simple, basic, and it gets the job done. This paddle has no added frills; it’s simply a lightweight toy with ‘slave’ carved into it. However, I think there are plenty of downsides here, too. It’s possibly too lightweight for some people to enjoy, and the wood isn’t of the highest quality. Still, for the price, it’s a cheap and easy wooden paddle that will generally feel alright when used.
Teach Me A Lesson Bamboo Paddle
If you’re looking for a super-sturdy bamboo surface, lots of lightweight maneuverability and imprint lettering that’ll leave behind the mark of a playtime well enjoyed, look no further. Spartacus’ Teach Me a Lesson Bamboo Paddle flicks and licks with sexily stinging spank-happy precision. Nice and firm in hand (and against your playmate’s skin), the Bamboo Paddle is perfect for newbie paddle users and just as perfect for more experienced partners. A nice long wrist cord keeps the point of contact close at all times.
The Teach Me A Lesson Bamboo Paddle is designed to quite literally look like a ruler. It is long and thin and has two flat sides. The lack of surface area will give it much more of a stinging, whipping sensation upon impact, and if that’s your kind of thing then you’re in for a real treat. Some people may be looking for a wooden spanking paddle with a larger surface area, and if that’s the case, this one might not be perfect for you, but for everyone else, this is a winner. And it doesn’t hurt that the price of this bamboo bad boy is so low, too. In fact, I’d pick one up for that fact alone!
Wood Paddle With 4 Holes
All-natural wood paddle made of high-quality natural pine wood is durable and lightweight, making it easy for long play sessions where you keep going and going. Includes 4 airflow holes cut out air resistance allowing maximum velocity meaning maximum impact if you want it. Please note that wood grains vary, making each item truly unique. No two will look or be the same.
Looking like a beer flight, the Wood Paddle With 4 Holes is quite literally just an ordinary wooden paddle with 4 large holes in it. These holes allow less air resistance when swinging, meaning the impact can be faster and harder. The large surface area still ensures that whoever is on the receiving end feels a thick, wide thudding sensation, too. Some may not be a fan of the holes in it, though, and want a more solid wooden paddle. It takes all sorts, right? For what it is, I don’t think the Wood Paddle With 4 Holes is the worst choice you could make.
Leather Wrapped Wood Spanking Paddle
Your submissive will love the varying sensations that this polished spanking paddle offers. This smooth, cross-grain wooden paddle delivers a nice, even burn in one fell swoop. Comfortable to hold and easy to maneuver, this paddle’s handle is wrapped in a strip of soft black leather— making it a pleasure to grip and even more pleasurable to put into good use. A leather cord is looped through the small hole at the very end of the handle, which can wrap around your wrist for extra grip support and be used for simple storage/dungeon decoration purposes.
The Leather Wrapped Wood Spanking Paddle is one that surprised me. To say that it is only made from plywood, it has a very premium look and feel to it. The leather strap around the handle really adds to that high end look and feel and adds a lot when you hold it in your hand. Some people may not like the overly simple, plain, flat paddle design, and admittedly maybe it could have a design carved into it or something, but trust me when I say that it works fantastically well. The Leather Wrapped Wood Spanking Paddle has a solid impact. And like they say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!
Wood 'Bitch' Paddle
Light-weight, but leaves a BIG impression: This Zelkova Wood Paddle leaves the letters BITCH imprinted on your/your partner’s rear. This paddle’s wood is polished to a shine, and is very smooth. Zelkova wood is native to Japan, Korea, eastern China, and Taiwan. The BITCH Wood paddle weighs only a quarter pound, and its slim handle is easy to grip. A corded loop attached to its end will fit over the paddle-wielder’s wrist, or allow you to hang up the Bitch Wood Paddle when you’re not playing.
Okay, so where do I start with the Wood ‘Bitch’ Paddle. I’ll kick things off with the bad: the design seems very cheap and (dare I say it) tacky, and the way it’s carved into the wood looks a little too simplistic and stencil-like. Also, the lower quality is not reflected in the price. It could do with being around half the price that it sits at. On the other hand, it’s a lightweight wooden paddle, with a long wrist loop that allows you to keep hold of it. The edges of all the carved text are smooth and rounded off, meaning it won’t cause any damage upon impact, save for leaving a few appropriately labeled marks.
Comparison of the 6 best wooden spanking paddles
|Best||Test Winner||Heart||Cheapest||With holes||Leather||null|
|Overall score||4.8 / 5.0||-||4.5 / 5.0||-||-||4.3 / 5.0|
|Bedbible rating||4.5 / 5.0||3.5 / 5.0||4.0 / 5.0||4.5 / 5.0||5.0 / 5.0||3.5 / 5.0|
|User rating||5 / 5.0|
from 1 users
|-||5 / 5.0|
from 1 users
|-||-||5 / 5.0|
from 3 users
|Design||100 / 100||80 / 100||80 / 100||80 / 100||95 / 100||70 / 100|
|Ease of use||95 / 100||90 / 100||90 / 100||90 / 100||90 / 100||90 / 100|
|Quality||95 / 100||70 / 100||80 / 100||80 / 100||90 / 100||70 / 100|
|Materials||Wood (Oak)||Wood||Wood (bamboo)||Wood (pine)||Wood (plywood) and leather||Wood|
|Length||12 inches||11.75 inches||15.75 inches||15 inches||15.75 inches||12.5 inches|
|Width||5 inches||5 inches||1.25 inches||2.75 inches||3.5 inches||2.1 inches|
Discover Wooden Paddle Alternatives
Wood might not be the material for you – and that’s okay, because the world really would be a boring place if we were all the same. But if that IS the case, then may I suggest a few sexy alternatives!
Saffron Acrylic Paddle
The Saffron Acrylic Paddle By Sportsheets features a strong 4 mm-thick impact surface that delivers an intense sting and a slapping sound like no other. Formed in clear acrylic for a unique visual experience, players wielding this paddle can see the moment its surface meets and marks the skin. It’s definitely something a little different…but in the BEST way!
Fetish Fantasy Extreme Paddle
Let science do the spanking! Made from flexible silicone for high-intensity wallops without additional effort, this spanking paddle provides hair-raising slaps without knackering the spanker, as well as versatility that beats any paddle you already own. Thanks to its 100% silicone make up; this paddle is waterproof, temperature responsive, hypoallergenic and flexible for total versatility during play. Spank your lover with a hot or cold touch, or take it in the shower – the possibilities are endless.
Kinklab Panamorphic 3-in-1 Paddle
This Panamorphic Paddle 3-in-1 Spanking Set does more than just spank! This versatile paddle can be used for sensation play. The paddle includes three different sides, giving you three varying sensations. One side is made out of smooth faux leather for classic impact play, while the other side is interchangeable to customize the sensations. Choose the faux-fur panel to give your partner a sensual massage and a gentle patting, or use the metal-studded panel to experiment with temperature play.
Fetish Fantasy Rubber Paddle
One crack of this Fantasy Rubber Paddle, and your lover will know who’s in charge! This bendable rubber paddle is soft enough for beginners to enjoy, but stiff enough to still provide a firm whack. It hurts so good! The unique pattern all over the paddle will definitely leave its mark while still ensuring that your partner has a lot of sexy fun!
How to use wooden spanking paddles
Using wooden spanking paddles should be fairly straight forward, right? Wrong! There’s actually a little bit more to it than just swinging away and spanking your partner. So I’m going to talk you through making the most out of your paddles!
Choose a paddle that's right for you!
You don’t want to pick just AND wooden spanking paddle – you want one that suits you and your partner. Take your time and find out the size and weight of the paddle, and figure out if it will meet your naughty needs. A little due diligence beforehand will pay off in spades once you finally have that wooden spanking paddle in your hand!
Start slow and take things easy!
You don’t want to jump straight into violently battering your partner’s bum with the wooden spanking paddle straight away. You need to ease into things. Start off soft. Tease and stroke before gently tapping with the paddle. You can get a little more heavy-handed as your partner starts to get more into things.
Communication really is key!
Using a wooden spanking paddle is fun – it really is – but you have to be able to openly and honestly communicate with your partner. If they seem to have taken enough, then you should stop spanking. Similarly, if you’re on the receiving end, it’s important to let your partner know that you’re ready to stop. It’s like they say: when the fun stops, stop!
How to clean wooden spanking paddles
Soft plastic, hard plastic, jelly, rubber, Cyberskin are all porous materials, meaning that small particles and bacteria can penetrate the surface. This makes it impossible to completely clean these types of materials.
Therefore, it is recommended that you use a condom with these types of toys, especially if you are sharing them. Clean these toys with mild soapy water and dry gently with a towel. These materials are more easily damaged, so be sure to be gentle and make sure your toys are completely dry before storing.
Silicone, glass, stainless steel and some hard plastics can all be washed using a mild soap (like you would use on your body) and warm water. Just be careful if your toy contains electrical parts.
Silicone and stainless steel toys without any electrical parts can also be boiled for sterilisation.
If your toys contain electrical components, be extra careful when cleaning them and always check the instructions provided with the toy. You can use a gentle cloth and soap to wipe or sex toy cleaner or cleaning wipe to down your toy, making sure that no water comes into contact with the electrical parts.
What are wooden spanking paddles?
Wooden spanking paddles are a kind of BDSM instrument used for spanking. There are plenty of kinds of spanking paddles out there, but what makes these so unique is that they are made out of wood - a sexy and naturalistic feeling material.