Long Distance Relationship Statistics – Do they work? How common are LDRs?
By Bedbible Research Center / November 26, 2022
We go where no research has gone before by looking at the most comprehensive data set ever compiled to provide real insight into long distance relationships.
Feel free to use any information from the study with reference too https://bedbible.com. For any additional details, access to the raw dataset, quotes from relationship experts, or couples feel free to reach out to Lead Researcher, Benjamin Jorgensen, at benjamin@bedbible.com.
In this dataset we have surveyed and aggregated over 1,330,000 data points from 33,910 respondents. It is by far the largest study of long distance relationships ever made.
This report provides a comprehensive walk-through of how prevelant long distance relationships are. How successful couples living in long distance relationships are at making it work out. We also cover infidelity rates, average distance between couples, the biggest reported obstacles and reasons for splitting as well as much much more.
The below presentation is a tabulation in standard tables. For access to dynamic data in other formats (SPSS, Stata, R, or CSV files) please reach out at benjamin@bedbible.com.
Updated data: 14/11-2022
How many are in a long distance relationship
The main focus of this study was creating a nationally representative dataset – and keep it updated throughout the years. The primary aim of having a large sample size (big N) was being able to precisely estimate nationally representative insights.
The below data shows some of the key insights in the data such as the current rate of long distance relationships, how many have previously been in one, how many started their relationship out in one and oit
| All | US, % | US, Total |
|---|---|---|
| Currently in a LDR | 16.09% | 14.1M |
| Have been in a LDR with current partner | 21.20% | 18.44M |
| Have been in a LDR with any partner | 81.12% | 70.57M |
| Started as a LDR | 51.11% | 44.5M |
| Have never been in a LDR | 18.88% | 16.42M |
| Experienced infidelity in any LDR | 25.14% | 21.87M |
| : Cheated yourself | 39.29% | 8.59M |
| : Was cheated on | 61.32% | 13.41M |
Married couples and long distance relationsships
| Married couples | US, % | US, Total |
|---|---|---|
| Currently in a LDR | 5.95% | 3.75M |
| Have been in a LDR with current partner | 14.71% | 9.17M |
| Started as a LDR | 10.32% | 6.43M |
| % of total LDR | 22.84% | – |
| Experienced infidelity in any LDR | 27.29% | 17.01M |
| : Cheated yourself | 35.71% | 6.07M |
| : Was cheated on | 64.29% | 10.94M |
College students in long distance relationship
| College students | US, % | US, Total |
|---|---|---|
| Currently in a LDR | 32.51% | 6.14M |
| Have been in a LDR with current partner | 35.28% | 6.67M |
| Started as a LDR | 14.11% | 2.67M |
| % of total LDR | 32.51% | – |
| Experienced infidelity in any LDR | 19.75% | 3.73M |
| : Cheated | 39.95% | 1.49M |
| : Was cheated on | 60.05% | 2.24M |
Success and fail rates: How many long distance relationships work out?
The following section is a rough tabulation of the data on how many of the long distance relationships that work out. Additionally we asked respondents to provide insight into what obstacles they experienced. And, if their long distance relationship did not work out, we asked why it did not succeed?
| % or months | |
|---|---|
| LDR that work out | 58% |
| LDR that fail | 42% |
| : Split after re-uniting | 37% |
| : Average time in LDR before split | 4.5 months |
Reasons respondents report for failed long distance relationship
| Reasons for split | % | Rank |
|---|---|---|
| Fail to plan | 70% | #1 |
| Cheating | 12% | #2 |
| Grew apart | 9% | #3 |
| Worrying about future | 3% | #4 |
| Other | 6% | #5 |
Biggest obstacles respondents report
| Biggest obstacles | % | Rank |
|---|---|---|
| Loneliness | 72% | #1 |
| Absence of physical intimacy | 66% | #2 |
| Jealousy | 54% | #3 |
| Drifting apart | 45% | #4 |
| Sadness | 17% | #5 |
| Insecurity | 11% | #6 |
Contact and meeting in a long distance relationship
One of the last main things we chose to focuse on in the data collection is the contact between couples. Both the physical meetings as well as messaging, calling and more traditionally – letters sent.
| per week | per month | days between | Length | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Any contact | 4 times | 17.3 times | 1.75 days | – |
| : Online messaging | 347 messages | 1502 messages | 0.61 days | – |
| : Calls | 2.59 times | 11.25 times | 2.74 days | 30 minutes per call |
| : Meetups | 0.35 times | 1.5 times | 20 days | Spends 3 days together |
| : Letters | 0.69 times | 3 times | 10 days | – |
More insights in the dataset
To avoid extensive use of tables and work on tabulation here is a summary of the most interesting findings in the dataset. This should also give an idea of what data is available and thereby which types of tabulations, correlations and other statistical analysis is possible with the dataset.
- On average long distance couples live 125 miles apart.
- 33% of couples that reunite break up after just 3 months of reuniting.
- Couples living in long distance relationships expect to reunite on average within 14 months.
- We looked into how many long distance relationships agreed on an open relationship, and found that 5.1% of couples have decided on an open relationship. The data additionally showed that the older the couples the more likely it is that the couple decided on opening up their relationship.
- 11% of long distance relationships have never met in person before.
- 81% report being more intimate with their partner after reuniting.
- Only 5 % report to feeling closer together.
- 32% of people who were in a long distance relationship would not do it again.
- Just 2% og high-school couples survive becoming long-distance when starting college.
