The dirty secrets of the US’ sexual fantasies have revealed what each gender prefers, the most secretive city and the generation with the strangest fantasies.
Whether it’s with a long-term partner, a one night stand, or even just by yourself – finding new ways to spice things up in the bedroom is always a bit of fun.
Of course, we’ve all heard of a few ‘unconventional’ things that may have piqued our interest, and considered suggesting during the next time we get a bit freaky.
But what about the more secret fantasies that we don’t often share in fear of some raised eyebrows?
We’ve all got one (well, most of us). That one thing you’ve always wanted to try, and really gets you going, but been a bit too nervous to try your hand at… or something else!
Well, getting out of your comfort zone and pushing the boundaries in the bedroom often guarantees a memorable experience. Whether that’s a gender-swapping experiment, a carefully planned ‘pegging’ or a full-on bondage session.
These sexual fantasies often get heart rates rising, and come in all shapes and sizes. As long as everything’s consensual, there is nothing wrong with adding a few new moves to your repertoire!
Besides, who doesn’t love trying new things?
And there’s no need to be embarrassed either, as 71% of the US have said that they have a sexual fantasy of their own.
That’s according to our new survey results, where we asked 1,001 people to spill the beans on their sexual fantasies and share all of the dirty details.
Top 10 sexual fantasies
- Oral Sex (32%)
- Sex in an unusual location (25%)
- Role playing (24%)
- Sex with a celebrity (22%)
- Sex with an ex (19%)
- Sex in public (19%)
- Sex with multiple partners (19%)
- Anal sex (18%)
- Sex with same-sex partner (17%)
- Being dominated (17%)
Data from Bedbible.com survey
What sexual fantasies?
And we really challenged them, having them bare all and they didn’t hold back!
Anonymously, they opened up and told us their ultimate sexual fantasy. They even let us into who they’d want to live their fantasy with.
But we didn’t stop there! To get a better look at how open we are as a society, we found out whether or not opening up about them in the first place is something they’re happy to do.
Removing the stigma of these fantasies and talking frankly about them is what we’re all about. So pre-warning – you’re about to hear all about our country’s horniest fantasies, but don’t be shy.
Perhaps you’ll spot your fantasy and realize it’s maybe not as ‘strange’ or ‘embarrassing’ as you first thought!
Analyzing the participants’ confessions, we can reveal that oral sex is the number one sexual fantasy for people across the US, after 32% admitted they love dreaming about giving or receiving oral sex.
A quarter said sex in an unusual location was the thing that gets them going the most, followed by 22% of participants saying that their fantasy was a long night of roleplaying.
However, not everyone was too keen on sharing the intimate details of their sexual fantasies, as 7% let us know that they’d prefer not to say.
Some participants broke the fantasy mold though, surprising us with some inventive fantasies that even some of us ‘sexperts’ haven’t heard much about.
- 5% of those surveyed told us that sensory deprivation is their sexual fantasy.
- 4% let us in on their pegging fantasy, and
- 5% shared their sexual dreams of infidelity.
- Gender-swapping was also mentioned by 4%, as they get off on the idea of pretending to be a different gender during sex. To be honest, we all love dressing up and trying out a new character from time to time, so why not bring it into the bedroom?
But whilst our participants were happy to tell us anonymously, how open are they willing to be with the people in their lives?
Who are you most likely to share sexual fantasites with?
Our results showed that we’re most comfortable with our partners, perhaps because they know our bodies and minds the best? They already know exactly how to make you gasp, moan and groan – so who better to start experimenting with a fantasy?
However, some people opted for a bit more of a distant connection, with…
- 5% telling us that they would prefer to share their fantasies with a first date.
- 4% said their family members would hear all the gossip about their latest fantasy in the bedroom.
- Making the workday go quicker, 2% said they share their sexual fantasies with their colleagues!
- 10% said they wouldn’t dare say a word about their fantasies – as they’re simply not comfortable doing so.
Reasons for not sharing sexual fantasy
Feeling like it’s too personal to share, 68% said they keep their fantasies to themselves, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still have a great time thinking about them.
- 13% said they’ve shared their fantasies with someone before and had a negative reaction,
- whilst 29% said they wouldn’t speak about their fantasies for fear of this happening!
- 21% are worried about judgment from their partner,
- and 13% said the perceptions of their fantasy puts them off of sharing.
Of course, we encourage people to share what they love with the people they love, as long as it’s safe to do so and in a consensual environment – who knows, you might find someone who loves it even more than you do!
Men and Women
But when it comes to men and women, which gender is more out there with their sexual fantasies, and who’s happy to talk all day long about what gets them off?
Our survey revealed 36% of men are fantasizing about having oral sex compared to 27% of women. In fact, women are less likely to have a sexual fantasy than men, with 27% saying so, compared to just 14% of men saying the same.
Women are more into the idea of having someone take control (23%), whilst men would prefer to have a less clear line of domination and would rather sleep with someone in a position of power (19%).
The survey also highlighted that men are fantasizing more about anal sex than women, with 24% saying this is their ultimate fantasy, compared to half that of women.
Clearly, men’s past partners are leaving a lasting impression, as 23% admitted to having a sexual fantasy about sleeping with an ex. They’re also more into the idea of sleeping with a stranger (23%), whilst women are less likely to have that sort of fantasy (8%).
|Have a sexual fantasy||85%||73%|
|Sex in an unusual location||27%||23%|
|Sex with a celebrity||28%||16%|
|Sleeping with an ex||23%||8%|
|Sex in public||23%||15%|
|Sex with multiple partners||26%||12%|
|Sex with a same-sex partner||13%||21%|
And the genders are largely in agreement with each other when it comes to sharing the details of these fantasies with the people around them. However, the survey showed that men are more likely to tell a family member what they’d like to get up to in the bedroom (7%) compared to women (3%).
Men are also more likely to divulge the dirty details of their fantasies with a first date (7%), whilst women would rather keep it under wraps in those circumstances (1%).
But the survey also highlighted that 31% of men said they’re worried that their partners wouldn’t accept their fantasies, but women feel more confident in sharing, with just 10% saying the same.
23% of men also said they’re embarrassed by their fantasies, and 14% of women are concerned about a negative reaction once they spill the beans.
But is it Gen Z or Boomers that have the spiciest fantasies?
Our survey revealed that the older generation (55+) were more likely to not have a sexual fantasy, with a third saying so. Perhaps they’ve already lived out their fantasies?
Meanwhile, Gen Z (18-24) are fantasizing about being dominated the most (32%), whilst millennials (25-34) are getting off on the idea of oral sex the most (37%).
The least popular fantasy amongst all generations was gender-swapping, however, millennials did share that they’re the most into that fantasy compared to any other generation.
And it’s 35-44 year olds who are the happiest to tell all about their fantasies, with only 3% saying they’re not comfortable sharing the details of their sexual fantasies.
Meanwhile, the boomer generation is a lot more secretive about their fantasies, 21% said they’re not comfortable talking about them.
The majority across all generations say their fantasies feel too personal to share, whilst half of 35-44 year olds are worried about being judged for what they’re fantasizing about.
11% of Gen Z said they’re actually embarrassed of their fantasy, and 16% of boomers said they’re worried about the perceptions of their fantasies.
With all this data, we wanted to reveal which fantasies are most popular in the US’s major cities.
Similar to the overall data, many cities said that oral sex was their biggest fantasy, but some states preferred something a little bit different.
San Jose saw the majority of participants saying they love to fantasize about being dominated or having sex in public the most, with a quarter saying so.
Residents of San Diego prefer the idea of roleplaying (50%), along with Dallas where 40% said the same.
Los Angeles-based participants told us that they fantasize about having sex in public the most (32%).
Meanwhile, people in Denver told us that having sex with a stranger is their biggest fantasy, with 28% saying so.
Phoenix is the most secretive city when it comes to talking about sexual fantasies, as 20% of people told us that they are not comfortable sharing the details of their fantasy.
Those living in Philadelphia are the most comfortable with their colleagues apparently, as they had the most people telling us that they share their sexual fantasies with their work friends (8%).
75% of Boston residents told us that, unfortunately, they don’t tell all about their favorite fantasy thanks to having a negative reaction in the past – more than any other city.
Of all the people we surveyed in Indianapolis and San Jose, 100% said that they have a fear of being judged for their fantasy, resulting in them keeping the details to themselves.
However, it’s concerns over their partner’s lack of acceptance in Houston that led to 100% of participants in the city keeping their fantasies a secret.
We believe that all sexual fantasies should be shared and celebrated, whenever it’s safe and consensual to do so. No one deserves to feel uncomfortable or judged due to what they like, as we all have different preferences.
Besides, sex would get pretty boring if there weren’t a few creative people mixing things up once in a while!