It is a seemingly simply question when asking; where most people meet their spouse or partner. However, there are some interesting intricacies about analyzing this that most simple displays of survey-results online does not account for.
- First off all, because of massive historical differences (e.g. when comparing couples who met in the 1940s to the 2000s).
- Secondly, because not all “couples” are created equally, some break up lasting only short-term, and some marry, some don’t.
- Thirdly, demographic, racial, or sexual difference also highly influence where people meet their partner or spouse.
This analysis utilizes 3 different datasets in combination: 4,002 respondents from the HCMST_2009 (How Couples Meet and Stay Together, 2009) Stanford dataset; 3,510 respondents from HCMST_2017 sample; and 51,020 respondents from the GSS (General Social Surveys) dataset.
Please reference any use of the below dataset, or findings from the analysis in the article. To gain access to the full combined dataset, please reach out to researchcenter@bedbible.com.
Where do people meet their spouses today
- 38% meet their spouse through online dating, making it the place where most people meet their spouse today.
- The second most common place that people meet their spouse is in a bar or restaurant (27%)
- The third most common place that people meet their spouse today is through friends with 20% meeting their current partner that way.
- Almost 12% meet their spouse through or at work.
- Other places that people have met their partners is through family (7%), through neighbors (4%), at church (4%), and in college (5%).
Further insights into historical trends on where people met their partner
- 37.8% of couples who got together in 2020 and after met through online dating (20.9% in 2010s, and 9.8% in 2000s).
- Meeting through friends was the most common way from the 1950s up until 2010, with over 30% of couples meeting this way. In the 2020s, it was surpassed by online dating and meeting in bars and restaurants.
- In the 1940s, 29% of couples met their future spouse through family connections.The least frequent way couples meet today is through or with neighbors, dropping from nearly 15% to less than 4%.
- Meeting through friends remains popular, though it has decreased from 27.8% in the 1940s to 20.3% in the 2020s.
- Couples meeting in primary or secondary school has declined from 24.1% in the 1940s to 5.2% in the 2020s.
- Meeting at bars or restaurants has increased over time, growing from 11.8% in the 1940s to 27.2% in the 2020s.
- Couples meeting at work increased, peaking at 19.8% in the 1990s, and slightly declining to 11.7% in the 2020s.
- Church as a place to meet a partner has seen a steady decline from 11.7% in the 1940s to 4.4% in the 2020s.
Trends in where couples meet, by centuries
- 37.8% of couples who together in 2020 and after have meet through online dating (20.9% in 2010s, and 9.8% in 2000s).
- Meeting a future partner or spouse through friends have been the most common way to meet since the 1950s up until 2010, with more than 30% meeting this way. Only surpassed by online dating and meeting in bars and restaurants in the 2020s.
- In the 1940s meeting your future spouse was most likely to happen through family connections (29% of couples met this way).
- The least frequent way couples meet today is through or with neighbors. It used to be almost 15% of couples, and it is now less than 4% of couples.
- Meeting through friends remains a popular way to meet a partner, although it has decreased from 27.8% in the 1940s to 20.3% in the 2020s.
- There has been a decline in couples meeting in primary or secondary school from 24.1% in the 1940s to 5.2% in the 2020s.
- Meeting at bars or restaurants has increased over time, growing from 11.8% in the 1940s to 27.2% in the 2020s.
- Couples meeting at work have also increased, peaking at 19.8% in the 1990s, and slightly declining to 11.7% in the 2020s.
- Church as a place to meet a partner has seen a steady decline from 11.7% in the 1940s to 4.4% in the 2020s.
- Meeting at college has remained relatively stable, fluctuating between 5.9% and 9.8% over the decades.
- It can be speculated that Covid-19 and remote classes could be a significant driver of the -3% decline from 2010s (7.6%) to 2020s (4.6%).
- The overall trend shows a decrease in traditional meeting places (family, neighbors, school, and church) and an increase in more modern meeting places (bars, restaurants, work, and online platforms).
- These trends might also indicate a shift in societal norms, moving away from tightly-knit communities and towards more individualistic and diverse social networks.
| Year | Friends | Family | Primary or Secondary School | Neighbors | Bar or Restaurant | Work | Church | College | Online |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1940 | 27.8% | 29.1% | 24.1% | 14.3% | 11.8% | 5.9% | 11.7% | 5.9% | – |
| 1950 | 30.1% | 27.4% | 23.9% | 12.5% | 13.8% | 8.8% | 9.1% | 7.2% | – |
| 1960 | 32.4% | 24.9% | 20.6% | 10.7% | 16.1% | 12.2% | 7.9% | 7.9% | – |
| 1970 | 33.5% | 21.9% | 22.0% | 9.0% | 18.1% | 15.9% | 7.3% | 7.9% | – |
| 1980 | 34.0% | 18.9% | 13.8% | 8.8% | 18.7% | 18.8% | 7.2% | 8.8% | .01% |
| 1990 | 33.8% | 16.7% | 11.7% | 8.0% | 18.8% | 19.8% | 7.1% | 9.0% | 0.7% |
| 2000 | 32.2% | 13.9% | 9.9% | 7.7% | 18.2% | 18.2% | 6.7% | 9.8% | 9.8% |
| 2010 | 27.0% | 9.9% | 7.6% | 5.1% | 21.0% | 13.0% | 5.2% | 7.6% | 20.9% |
| 2020 | 20.3% | 7.1% | 5.2% | 3.9% | 27.2% | 11.7% | 4.4% | 4.6% | 37.8% |
As multiple answered were allowed for respondents we also took the liberty to create relative index, as it provides better historical comparison across centuries AND places couples met. We found that some centuries simply had respondents answer multiple places more often (e.g. both a bar and online, or through family and in church). It is not a problem when analyzing the data on single variables, rather it would work to still keep places in play that are simply considered as the least important place a couple felt they met. However, for transparency we also included data on the relative frequency of the different places.
We also included the total percentage, so it became obvious which centuries had respondents answer multiple places more often than other centuries.
| Year | Friends | Family | School | Neighbor | BorR | Work | Church | College | Online | SUM |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1940 | 21.3% | 22.3% | 18.5% | 10.9% | 9.0% | 4.5% | 9.0% | 4.5% | – | 130.6% |
| 1950 | 22.7% | 20.6% | 18.0% | 9.4% | 10.4% | 6.6% | 6.9% | 5.4% | – | 132.8% |
| 1960 | 24.4% | 18.8% | 15.5% | 8.1% | 12.1% | 9.2% | 6.0% | 6.0% | – | 132.7% |
| 1970 | 24.7% | 16.2% | 16.2% | 6.6% | 13.3% | 11.7% | 5.4% | 5.8% | – | 135.6% |
| 1980 | 26.4% | 14.7% | 10.7% | 6.8% | 14.5% | 14.6% | 5.6% | 6.8% | .01% | 129.01% |
| 1990 | 26.9% | 13.3% | 9.3% | 6.4% | 15.0% | 15.8% | 5.7% | 7.2% | 0.6% | 125.6% |
| 2000 | 25.5% | 11.0% | 7.8% | 6.1% | 14.4% | 14.4% | 5.3% | 7.8% | 7.8% | 126.4% |
| 2010 | 23.0% | 8.4% | 6.5% | 4.3% | 17.9% | 11.1% | 4.4% | 6.5% | 17.8% | 117.3% |
| 2020 | 16.6% | 5.8% | 4.3% | 3.2% | 22.3% | 9.6% | 3.6% | 3.8% | 30.9% | 122.2% |
These relative frequencies can then be used to create pie charts for each century:
Where did couples meet in the 1940s
- 27.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other through friends.
- 29.1 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other through family.
- 24.1 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other in Primary or Secondary School
- 14.3 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other through neighbors.
- 11.7 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other in church.
- 11.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 5.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 5.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1940s met each other in college.
Where did couples meet in the 1950s
These are the top 8 places that couples formed in the 1950s report to have met.
- 30.1 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other through friends.
- 27.4 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other through family.
- 23.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other in Primary or Secondary School.
- 13.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 12.5 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other through neighbors.
- 9.1 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other in church.
- 8.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 7.2 percent of couples who got together in the 1950s met each other in college.
Where did couples meet in the 1960s
These are the top 8 places that couples formed in the 1960s report to have met.
- 32.4 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other through friends.
- 24.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other through family.
- 20.6 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other in Primary or Secondary School
- 16.1 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 12.2 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 10.7 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other through neighbors.
- 7.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other in church.
- 7.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1960s met each other in college.
Where did couples meet in the 1970s
These are the top 8 places that couples formed in the 1970s report to have met.
- 33.5 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other through friends.
- 22 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other in Primary or Secondary School.
- 21.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other through family.
- 18.1 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 15.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 9 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other through neighbors.
- 7.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other in college.
- 7.3 percent of couples who got together in the 1970s met each other in church.
Where did couples meet in the 1980s
These are the top 8 places that couples formed in the 1980s report to have met.
- 34 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other through friends.
- 18.9 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other through family.
- 18.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 18.7 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 13.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other in Primary or Secondary School
- 8.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other through neighbors.
- 8.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other in college.
- 7.2 percent of couples who got together in the 1980s met each other in church.
Where did couples meet in the 1990s
These are the top 9 places that couples formed in the 1990s report to have met.
- 33.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other through friends.
- 19.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 18.8 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 16.7 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other through family.
- 11.7 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other in Primary or Secondary School
- 9 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other in college.
- 8 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other through neighbors.
- 7.1 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other in church.
- 0.7 percent of couples who got together in the 1990s met each other online (often through online dating services).
Where did couples meet in the 2000s
These are the top 9 places that couples formed in the 2000s report to have met.
- 32.2 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other through friends.
- 18.2 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 18.2 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 13.9 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other through family.
- 9.9 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other in Primary or Secondary School.
- 9.8 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other in college.
- 7.8 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other online (often through online dating services).
- 7.7 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other through neighbors.
- 6.7 percent of couples who got together in the 2000s met each other in church.
Where did couples meet in the 2010s
These are the top 9 places that couples formed in the 2010s report to have met.
- 27 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other through friends.
- 21 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 17.8 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other online (often through online dating services).
- 13 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 9.9 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other through family.
- 7.6 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other in Primary or Secondary School.
- 7.6 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other in college.
- 5.1 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other through neighbors.
- 5.2 percent of couples who got together in the 2010s met each other in church.
Where did couples meet who formed in 2020 and forth
These are the top 9 places that couples formed in the 2020s report to have met.
- 30.9 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other online (often through online dating services).
- 27.2 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other in a bar or restaurant.
- 20.3 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other through friends.
- 11.7 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other through work or with a coworker.
- 7.1 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other through family.
- 5.2 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other in Primary or Secondary School.
- 4.6 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other in college.
- 4.4 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other in church.
- 3.9 percent of couples who got together in the 2020s met each other through neighbors.
#13 different, unique, and infrequent places people meet future partners
Although there is a few very popular places that couples meet each other, we also find a wealth of different unique places. Both uncategorizable, and some that are simply very unique places to meet within one of the popular categories.
1. Pottery Class
People seeking a creative experience could find love in pottery classes. In these workshops, participants learn to mold and shape clay while engaging in conversation and laughter. The relaxed environment and shared passion for art create the perfect setting for love to bloom. Just like it did in the iconic scene from the film “Ghost.”
2. Beekeeping Course
Beekeeping courses offer an unconventional opportunity for people to meet their future spouse. Aspiring apiarists learn the intricate art of maintaining hives and protecting these vital pollinators. This unique shared experience fosters a sense of camaraderie and collaboration. On top of that signing up for a beekeeping course often comes from the same underlying values, which is often a good predictor for couples forming and long-lasting relationships, built on mutual respect and a love, matures.
3. Fencing
The elegance and discipline of fencing can bring couples together in a distinctive way. In fencing academies, participants learn the art of swordsmanship, footwork, and strategy. This physically and mentally engaging activity promotes trust and partnership, often sparking romantic connections between those who share this exciting and exhilarating hobby. Again, it follows a trend – the more specific a hobby is, the more like-minded people are going to be attracted to it.
4. Stargazing Event
Couples often find each other under the night sky at stargazing events. Astronomy clubs and planetariums regularly host gatherings where enthusiasts come together to observe celestial bodies and share their passion for the cosmos. The enchanting backdrop of stars creates an intimate atmosphere where romance has the chance to flourish.
5. Volunteering Abroad
Volunteering abroad provides a life-changing opportunity for couples to connect while giving back to communities in need. Whether it’s teaching, building houses, or participating in wildlife conservation projects, these altruistic experiences create strong bonds between like-minded individuals. As couples work together to make a positive impact, they develop a profound connection based on shared values and a dedication to making the world a better place.
6. Themed Cooking Classes
Themed cooking classes, such as sushi making or pasta crafting, are unconventional and engaging settings for potential couples to meet. Participants learn new culinary skills and explore diverse cuisines while working together in a fun and interactive environment. Sharing a love for food and creating delicious dishes together can lay the foundation for lasting romantic connections.
7. Urban Gardening Workshop
Urban gardening workshops bring together eco-conscious individuals interested in cultivating green spaces within the city. As participants learn about sustainable gardening techniques and work together to grow plants and flowers, they form meaningful connections based on their passion for the environment. This shared pursuit of greener urban living can lead to blossoming romantic relationships.
8. Historical Reenactment Event
Historical reenactment events offer a fascinating and immersive experience for history buffs to connect. By participating in the re-creation of significant historical events, individuals can bond over their shared love for history and period costumes. The authenticity and camaraderie experienced in these events often spark romantic connections between passionate reenactors. However, Larry Hall, and the subsequent movie, Black Bird, might have put a definitive stopper to anyone wanting to meet at reenactments.
9. Outdoor Yoga Retreat
Outdoor yoga retreats offer a serene and peaceful setting for individuals seeking wellness and relaxation. As participants practice mindfulness and stretch their bodies in unison, they form connections based on their shared love for yoga and self-improvement. The tranquil atmosphere and shared pursuit of inner balance often lead to the formation of meaningful and lasting romantic connections.
11. Language Exchange Meetup
Language exchange meetups provide a stimulating and educational environment for people to learn and practice new languages with native speakers. By engaging in conversations and supporting each other’s language learning journey, participants form connections based on shared linguistic goals and cultural appreciation. These meaningful interactions can evolve into deeper romantic relationships as language partners continue to learn and grow together.
12. Geocaching Adventure
Geocaching adventures offer an exciting and unique opportunity for outdoor enthusiasts to meet while searching for hidden treasures. Using GPS coordinates, participants work together to locate containers or “geocaches” hidden in various locations. The thrill of the hunt and the shared sense of achievement create a strong bond between participants, often leading to the development of romantic relationships built on a shared sense of adventure and curiosity.
13. Literary Pub Crawl
Literary pub crawls combine the love for literature and socializing, offering a unique experience for bookworms to connect. Participants visit local pubs and bars while discussing their favorite books, authors, and literary genres. The combination of lively conversation and a relaxed atmosphere fosters connections between literature enthusiasts, allowing for romantic relationships to blossom over shared passions and engaging discussions.
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