FemmeFun Ultra Bullet Massager Review

Personal Experience

I just love compact, little bullet vibrators! They are so versatile and can be used on the clitoris, male perineum, vagina or all over the body for stiff muscles and headaches. And when I read that FemmeFunn touts this bullet as “the most powerful on the market today”, I was more than intrigued as I have used more bullet vibrators than any other sex toy in my 30-year career.  Sadly, I was disappointed in the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager. Yes, it is an extremely powerful vibrator. I will give it that. However, I know of a couple of brands on the market today that are more powerful, lesser expensive and far less buzzy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly lovely little sex toy, for some people, just not me. As always, I removed the vibrator from its packaging and played around with it to see how it works. Immediately, I was in awe of how incredibly silky the silicone was! But then I turned it on, which was a bit difficult for me as the button is extremely small and needed some brute finger strength to press it. I cannot imagine trying to push that tiny button with lube on my fingers! Once I was able to turn it on, the lowest setting seemed promising! It felt a little rumbly and a bit buzzy at the same time. But then I hit the second setting, the third, the fourth and so on. And with each press of the button, I was more and more disappointed. Then, my hand went numb.

THE MAIN EVENT with the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager

Design

The FemmeFun Ultra Bullet Massager has a compact design, making it a great little vibrator for travel and Os on the go. It’s made from medical-grade silicone so it’s extremely soft and silky. The shape is bullet-like, only with softer, rounded lines, making it easy to use for stimulation and massage on various body parts. It has a bit of flexibility so it gives when pressing it onto the body. The flat bottom houses the magnetic charging points- so the charger stays put – plus the on/off/setting switch is there as well, for easy access. The end also has a rounded shape so you can hold the massager in the palm of your hand.

Ease of Use

The on/off/settings switch is all one, extremely small button and is located on the bottom of the massager. It was a bit difficult to push and go through the settings – but I have difficulties using my hands and fingers. However, the button is backlit, so it’s easy to find in the dark. Unfortunately, there is no up and down button, so you have to scroll through all 20 settings to get back to the setting you prefer. Fortunately, the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager remembers your last used setting. Therefore, the next time you turn the massager on, your favorite setting is right there.

Quality

The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is made from medical-grade silicone, so it's allergen-free and very soft against the body. It looks expensive, feels expensive but sadly, that’s where the positives stopped for me. The single operational button is very small and difficult to push, making scrolling through the 20 functions cumbersome. Although this little bullet isn’t loud enough to wake the kids, it’s not as quiet as comparable bullets. Furthermore, the buzz was so incredibly strong that my fingers fell asleep and after about 10 minutes of use, the motor got noticeably warm and was accompanied by a slight odor.

Price

I paid $49.99 for the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager and it can run as much as $20 higher on some sites. And while the medical-grade silicone makes it a high-quality product on the outside, the internal motor seems to be one of the old-school, buzzy set-ups I used to sell in the plastic and egg bullets of yesteryear. My hands are literally still numb as I type this! Although I do understand the concept of creating a compact massager, it would have been great had they included a way to scroll up and down through the settings. I am simply not impressed with the quality vs. the price and feel you could find a better massager for an equal price.

Performance

If you are one that likes clitoris-numbing, powerful buzzing, then the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is the perfect little sex toy to rock your world. However, if you’re like me and need a delicate touch and a little rumble, this bullet will turn you off faster than a cousin hitting on you at a family reunion. A single, 3-second-long press turns the bullet on – and you have to use the very tip of your finger or fingernail to do it as it’s small and difficult to press. Then you have to press again and again and again to scroll through the 20 speeds and functions. It’s a bit loud, a LOT buzzy and if you don’t already have neuropathy in your fingers, you will after using this little powerhouse. Finally, just be aware, the end of the bullet got extremely warm after approximately 10 minutes of use.

Packaging

The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager came in an average weight, cardboard box with no nudity or racy graphics. Inside was a molded plastic compartment that held the massager and behind it was the instruction manual and USB, magnetic charger. Nothing spectacular, although appropriate for young eyes.

Materials and care

The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is made from medical-grade silicone. Therefore, you should only use a water-based lubricant. Considering the massager is waterproof and submersible, clean-up is a breeze with a mild soap and warm water, a toy cleanser or sex toy cleansing wipes. This little massager didn’t come with a storage bag, so I would suggest picking one up on your next sex toy shopping trip as the box likely won’t hold up very long in your night stand drawer.