FemmeFun Ultra Bullet Massager – Test & Review
Table of contents (16)
Reviewing the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager
I just love compact, little bullet vibrators! They are so versatile and can be used on the clitoris, male perineum, vagina or all over the body for stiff muscles and headaches. And when I read that FemmeFunn touts this bullet as “the most powerful on the market today”, I was more than intrigued as I have used more bullet vibrators than any other sex toy in my 30-year career. Sadly, I was disappointed in the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager. Yes, it is an extremely powerful vibrator. I will give it that. However, I know of a couple of brands on the market today that are more powerful, lesser expensive and far less buzzy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly lovely little sex toy, for some people, just not me. As always, I removed the vibrator from its packaging and played around with it to see how it works. Immediately, I was in awe of how incredibly silky the silicone was! But then I turned it on, which was a bit difficult for me as the button is extremely small and needed some brute finger strength to press it. I cannot imagine trying to push that tiny button with lube on my fingers! Once I was able to turn it on, the lowest setting seemed promising! It felt a little rumbly and a bit buzzy at the same time. But then I hit the second setting, the third, the fourth and so on. And with each press of the button, I was more and more disappointed. Then, my hand went numb.
THE MAIN EVENT with the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet MassagerI have said it before and I’ll remind my new readers; it doesn’t take much stimulation for me. I have an extremely delicate clitoris which requires a soft touch and gentle vibrations. Even on the lowest setting, the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager was too ultra for me, as my clitoris went from yeah to wow to ouch in a matter of 5 seconds. Usually, you can press on a buzzy vibrator and slow the motor down a bit. I tried that and nearly climbed through the headboard of my bed. No O for me! Unless, maybe, I use it through my clothing. I will not be placing the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager anywhere near my naked, girly bits again. However, it does wonders for working out knotted shoulders and sore necks – at least that’s what my daughter said. I couldn’t get over the way it made my eyeballs shake in their sockets.
Design Quirks: The Good and the Bad
The FemmeFun Ultra Bullet Massager has a compact design, making it a great little vibrator for travel and Os on the go. It’s made from medical-grade silicone so it’s extremely soft and silky. The shape is bullet-like, only with softer, rounded lines, making it easy to use for stimulation and massage on various body parts. It has a bit of flexibility so it gives when pressing it onto the body. The flat bottom houses the magnetic charging points- so the charger stays put – plus the on/off/setting switch is there as well, for easy access. The end also has a rounded shape so you can hold the massager in the palm of your hand.
The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager: User Convenience
The on/off/settings switch is all one, extremely small button and is located on the bottom of the massager. It was a bit difficult to push and go through the settings – but I have difficulties using my hands and fingers. However, the button is backlit, so it’s easy to find in the dark. Unfortunately, there is no up and down button, so you have to scroll through all 20 settings to get back to the setting you prefer. Fortunately, the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager remembers your last used setting. Therefore, the next time you turn the massager on, your favorite setting is right there.
Rating the Quality of the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager
The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is made from medical-grade silicone, so it's allergen-free and very soft against the body. It looks expensive, feels expensive but sadly, that’s where the positives stopped for me. The single operational button is very small and difficult to push, making scrolling through the 20 functions cumbersome. Although this little bullet isn’t loud enough to wake the kids, it’s not as quiet as comparable bullets. Furthermore, the buzz was so incredibly strong that my fingers fell asleep and after about 10 minutes of use, the motor got noticeably warm and was accompanied by a slight odor.
Breaking Down the Cost of the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager
I paid $49.99 for the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager and it can run as much as $20 higher on some sites. And while the medical-grade silicone makes it a high-quality product on the outside, the internal motor seems to be one of the old-school, buzzy set-ups I used to sell in the plastic and egg bullets of yesteryear. My hands are literally still numb as I type this! Although I do understand the concept of creating a compact massager, it would have been great had they included a way to scroll up and down through the settings. I am simply not impressed with the quality vs. the price and feel you could find a better massager for an equal price.
Testing the Limits of the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager
If you are one that likes clitoris-numbing, powerful buzzing, then the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is the perfect little sex toy to rock your world. However, if you’re like me and need a delicate touch and a little rumble, this bullet will turn you off faster than a cousin hitting on you at a family reunion. A single, 3-second-long press turns the bullet on – and you have to use the very tip of your finger or fingernail to do it as it’s small and difficult to press. Then you have to press again and again and again to scroll through the 20 speeds and functions. It’s a bit loud, a LOT buzzy and if you don’t already have neuropathy in your fingers, you will after using this little powerhouse. Finally, just be aware, the end of the bullet got extremely warm after approximately 10 minutes of use.
The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager’s Packaging: Hit or Miss?
The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager came in an average weight, cardboard box with no nudity or racy graphics. Inside was a molded plastic compartment that held the massager and behind it was the instruction manual and USB, magnetic charger. Nothing spectacular, although appropriate for young eyes.
Materials and Maintenance
The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager is made from medical-grade silicone. Therefore, you should only use a water-based lubricant. Considering the massager is waterproof and submersible, clean-up is a breeze with a mild soap and warm water, a toy cleanser or sex toy cleansing wipes. This little massager didn’t come with a storage bag, so I would suggest picking one up on your next sex toy shopping trip as the box likely won’t hold up very long in your night stand drawer.
Specifications and features
|Vibration modes||20 settings|
|Vibration speeds||2 speeds|
|Vibration patterns||19 patterns|
|Length||4.3 Inches inches|
|Diameter||0.93 inches inches|
|Battery Life||70 minutes minutes|
|Charging Time||45 minutes minutes|
Overall, my personal rating is a 2. It’s just too strong of a buzz for my liking. Additionally, the button was too difficult for me to press. However, if you love powerful, buzzing vibrations and don’t have wrecked, arthritic hands like I do, this little powerhouse will be perfect for you. The material is absolutely divine! Add to that the fact that it’s great for water play, massage and all sorts of bodies, I would give it an overall 4. It’s simple to use, straight-forward and small enough to carry in a purse or overnight bag.
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Comparing FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager with alternatives
FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager
|Overall score||3.5 / 5.0||4.2 / 5.0||4.8 / 5.0||5.0 / 5.0||3.9 / 5.0||4.0 / 5.0|
|Bedbible rating||2.0 / 5.0||4.0 / 5.0||5.0 / 5.0||5.0 / 5.0||4.0 / 5.0||3.0 / 5.0|
|User rating||5 / 5.0|
from 154 users
|4.4 / 5.0|
from 22 users
|4.6 / 5.0|
from 7 users
|5 / 5.0|
from 24 users
|3.8 / 5.0|
from 82 users
|4.9 / 5.0|
from 1305 users
|Design||90 / 100||100 / 100||90 / 100||95 / 100||80 / 100||70 / 100|
|Ease of use||50 / 100||100 / 100||80 / 100||95 / 100||70 / 100||40 / 100|
|Quality||50 / 100||90 / 100||85 / 100||92 / 100||80 / 100||80 / 100|
|Sound||40 / 100||40 / 100||100 / 100||60 / 100||60 / 100||60 / 100|
|Power||100 / 100||40 / 100||80 / 100||60 / 100||80 / 100||40 / 100|
|Buzzy/Rumbly||very rumbly||somewhat buzzy||somewhat rumbly||neither really buzzy nor rumbly||somewhat rumbly||somewhat buzzy|
|Vibration modes||20 settings||-||-||-||10 + unlimited in app||3 speeds and 7 patterns|
|Vibration speeds||2 speeds||5||-||3, plus more with app||-||-|
|Vibration patterns||19 patterns||7||-||4, plus more with app||-||-|
|Length||4.3 Inches inches||-||10 inches||10.2 inches||3.6 inches||9" inches|
|Diameter||0.93 inches inches||Bullet: 1.25 inches||1.5 inches||1.46 inches||-||1.6" at widest point inches|
|Battery Life||70 minutes minutes||50 minutes||Up to 120 minutes||240 minutes||120 minutes||2 hours minutes|
|Charging Time||45 minutes minutes||120 minutes||-||120 minutes||90 minutes||4 hours minutes|
|Rechargeable||Yes, USB||Yes||Yes||Yes, magnetic USB||Yes (magnetic USB)||Yes, USB rechargeable|
|Materials||Silicone||Body safe, phthalate-free, silicone||Silicone, ABS Plastic||Silicone||Silicone||Body-safe silicone with plastic accents|
|Waterproof||Submersible||Yes||No||No, water-resistant||Yes (not remote)||Yes|
|Insertable length||-||3 inches||5 inches||5.12 inches||-||5" inches|
|Storage Bag Included||-||No, but box is the reusable||No||Yes||Yes||-|
|Remote Controls||-||Yes, Physical Remote||-||Yes, through mobile app||Remote + App||-|
|Colors Available||-||Pink||Black, Lilac, Mint Green, Red||Red||-||-|
|Thrust Modes||-||-||6||7, plus more with app||-||-|
|Adjustable||-||-||Yes, shaft bends up to 30º||-||-||-|
|Clitoral suction||-||-||-||-||-||11 speeds modes|
How to use FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager
Instructions - Manual
- Wash the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap before use.
- Charge the toy before use.
- Long-press the button to turn the toy on.
- Click the button again to move through the 20 settings of vibration and patterns.
- To turn off the FemmFunn Ultra Bullet Massager, long-press the button again.
- The FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager will remember your last used setting for the next time you use it.
- Wash with soap and warm water after each use. Dry thoroughly before storing.
How did the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager get tested and reviewed?
We sent the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager to the tester’s address, free of charge. They tested the product and got to keep it afterward, with no strings attached.
Our tester then put the product through its paces. After trying the product out at home, the tester then recorded their experience, evaluation, and overall rating of FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager to share with you in this review.
After non-substantial editing, the review is uploaded to this page. Both good and bad reviews get uploaded, and no points that the tester writes in their review are left out.
The only editing we do is uploading and adding additional information such as the product specifications, comparisons to other products, and links to places where you can buy the FemmeFunn Ultra Bullet Massager.