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Knowing how to hide a dildo is an important skill. Hiding a dildo takes creativity and a little bit of knowledge so you don’t ruin your sex toy. Therefore, we’ve put together a little article to show you how to hide a dildo, the best places and some products to keep your sex toys safe and out of sight.
Why Should I Know How to Hide a Dildo?
Some of you may be wondering why someone would want to know how to hide a dildo. After all, most of us have nightstands we can simply toss them into. But not all of us live on our own or have a family that realizes sex toys are a part of our job description. Therefore, this article is for those of you who still live with your parents, have children who are always into your business, and those with nosey roommates.
But Before You Hide That Dildo….
Before you run off to find the perfect hiding place, there are a couple of important things you should know. First and foremost, wash your dildo or vibrator well before you hide it. This will prevent dirt, mold, mildew and all sorts of nasties. Secondly, wrap your dildo in a soft cloth, towel or drawstring sex toy bag before hiding it. As a result, your toy will stay safe from prying eyes as well as dust bunnies, lint and dirt.
Your Drawers: How to Hide a Dildo Amongst Your Socks and Undies
- The first and most obvious place to hide a dildo is in one of your drawers.
However, it takes a little bit of finesse than just stuffing that toy under your clothing. First, think of the drawers no one is likely to open, like where your underwear and socks live. Then, secure your sex toy by sliding it into a sock or wrapping it in a pair of your undies.
Next, hide that dildo underneath all of your socks or undies, in the very back of the drawer.
Finally, consider hiding your dildo in drawers you use to store out-of-season clothing like sweat shirts, Christmas sweaters and outdoor gear for hunting and camping. That way, you know someone won’t be digging around to borrow your favorite concert tee.
2. Hide a Dildo Under Furniture
Take a look around your bedroom and see if you can hide your sex toy in plain sight – well, almost. If your dresser or chest of drawers feature a decorative area on the bottom, you have the perfect spot to hide a dildo or other sex toy. Simply slide the wrapped toy through one of the decorative openings and behind an area that touches the floor. Viola! Disappearing dildo!
Other Drawers and Cabinets Where You Can Hide a Dildo
There are other drawers and cabinets in which you can hide a dildo. Simply take a look around your space and you’ll see all sorts of hiding spots. Here is a list of places to hide a dildo that you may not have thought of:
3. The top kitchen cabinet above the fridge or sink
4. A television stand
5. The shelf above the washing machine
6. A basket or box on the bookshelf
7. Inside a storage ottoman
8. A game table
9. Inside a tall vase in the curio cabinet
10. On top of the medicine cabinet
Stuff It! How to Hide a Dildo in Super-Secret Spots
11. The next hiding spot on our tutorial regarding how to hide a dildo is to stuff it into something.
For example, if you have a plush animal on your bed or displayed on a shelf, you have a great place to stuff it – your dildo, that is. Simply cut away the seam, pull out a bit of stuffing and hide that dildo where no one will ever guess.
In addition, you can do the same thing with a sleeping pillow, a decorative, toss pillow or inside of a duvet cover.
How to Hide a Dildo Under Your Bed
12. Another great place to hide a dildo is under your bed.
No, you just don’t roll it under there where lint, dust bunnies and carpet fibers will get stuck to it! You have to put in a little bit of effort! For instance, if you use that space under your bed for storage, as I do, wrap your dildo in a small towel and tuck it into a box or bag.
13. Better yet, cut a small hole at the edge of your box spring – which should be hollow and covered with fabric.
Then, take your wrapped dildo and lay it on the ledge of the box spring frame. Finally, if you happen to be a slob – and you know who you are – hide that dildo in an empty potato chip bag, hoodie pocket or the box to that game you haven’t played in years.
In the Closet
There are several places in the closet where you can hide a dildo. First is the obvious hiding place – behind all of your stuff on a shelf or the floor of your closet. However, if you have a roommate or family member that may go searching through your closet for your 3rd grade report card, you may have to get a bit more creative.
Here are some creative closet spots to hide a dildo:
14. Inside a shoe or boot
15. In the pocket of a coat, suit jacket, pants, or a hoodie
16. Tucked inside a suit or dress bag
17. Inside of luggage
18. In a box of clothing or other stuff
19. Inside your bowling bag or other sports duffle
20. Hidden inside a file box
21. In a metal lock box
22. Inside a closet safe
23. In a game or puzzle box
24. Inside of a hat
25. Inside an unused purse, fanny pack, or tote bag
How to Hide a Dildo in the Bathroom
26. Another great place to hide a dildo is in the bathroom, especially if you have one attached to your bedroom.
First, you can hide your dildo under the sink and behind all of the products stored there. Next, consider all of the bags and storage containers you may have. For example, you can hide a dildo in a cosmetic, shower or travel bag as well as the bag in which you keep your razor.
Finally, don’t discount the bathroom drawers and storage closets! They are both great places to hide your secret sex toy.
Lock It Up
27. Locking up your dildo is the best way to keep it hidden. And there are plenty of places where you can do that.
First, consider using the lock box where you keep important files and paperwork. Or, if you happen to have a safe where you keep those things, that’s a fantastic place to hide a dildo. Next, if your desk has a drawer that locks, you have another perfect hiding place.
Finally, if you happen to have a small luggage lock, you can turn nearly anything with a double zipper into a locked storage bag! For instance, hide your dildo and lock it up in a purse, tote bag, duffel or even a pet carrier.
How to Hide a Dildo in the Garage
Sometimes we need to go to great lengths to hide our sex toys. In that case, you can always find a hiding spot in the garage. The garage is a treasure trove of hidey holes! So, here is how to hide a dildo in the garage:
28. Stick it in a tent bag.
29. Wrap it up in a yoga mat.
30. Hide your dildo in a tool box.
31. Slip your dildo inside a watering can.
32. Tuck it behind some boxes on a shelf.
33. Keep your dildo in your car’s glove compartment.
34. Hide it inside the Shop Vac
35. Tuck your dildo inside the box of Christmas decorations.
36. Hide it in a car wash bucket
How to Hide a Dildo in Sex Toy Storage Accessories
Last, but certainly not least, the best place to hide a dildo is in something created specifically to store sex toys. These items aren’t too expensive and they’ll keep your sex toys clean and out of sight. Plus, they’ll fit seamlessly into a closet shelf, under your bed or inside your nightstand drawer.
37. The Lovehoney Lockable Sex Toy Case
How to hide a dildo? Inside a sex toy storage case, of course! This Lovehoney Lockable Sex Toy Case fits easily inside of a drawer and is extremely affordable. Plus, the case is lined with an antimicrobial material that keeps your sex toys healthy. Finally, this nifty storage case comes complete with a pad lock so you know your dildo won’t fall into the wrong hands.
38. The Joyboxx Sex Toy Storage Box
This sex toy storage box looks a great deal like a cosmetic tote. However, it’s designed specifically to hide a dildo or other sex toys. The Joyboxx Sex Toy Storage Box comes complete with a replaceable combination lock as well as a convenient hole for your USB cord. That way, you can charge your sex toys while they’re being stored.
Best of all, this storage box is made from non-porous plastic and features a drying rack, just in case you need to hide that dildo in a hurry! So, if you’re ready for a grown-up place to hide a dildo, this storage box is stylish and inexpensive.