Lovense Mini Sex Machine — Test & Review

Personal Experience

The Lovense Mini Sex Machine is the baby sibling of the original Lovense Sex Machine, which is a favorite of cammers everywhere. It’s designed to be light and portable, but still powerful — and I think it fulfils most of those promises. The most fun part is probably that it can connect to the Lovense Remote app, where you can have a partner (or a stranger) control it from anywhere in the world, or use the myriad of syncing features. In the end, however, I didn’t make much use of this function, as I found it was actually easier to stick with the included handheld remote.

The First Attempt

The Do-Over

Does it Feel Like Real Sex?

Design

The design of the Lovense Mini Sex Machine doesn't do much for me personally, but it's objectively fine. The white body is clean and nice, and the hot pink accents match Lovense's usual branding. The side panel with the Lovense logo is very Y2K-inspired, which may appeal to some! The dildo is also fine to look at, though it may have been nicer to include a non-phallic dildo instead. It seems like the connector is unique to Lovense, and the machine can't be used with other dildos without an adaptor.

Ease of Use

This is certainly no pick-up-and-play toy, but it's fairly simple to get set up if you read the included manual. The most time-consuming part was putting it together out of the box, and while you can disassemble it after every use, I would recommend keeping it together for a quicker set-up next time. The first use will probably involve quite a bit of adjustment, both in the legs and the stroke length, which you have to take off the logo panel to change. Apart from that, the remote control is simple to use, and the app is quite easy to connect. The most difficult part I encountered was connecting the dildo to the shaft — for some reason, it's incredibly fiddly to click into place!

Quality

This machine feels a bit flimsy. I appreciate that the machine is light, but the plastic casing doesn't feel super high-quality and the legs are so light that they don't hold down the machine when it's in use. The dildo is made of body-safe silicone, but it's not very soft or smooth.

Price

At just under $400, the Lovense Mini Sex Machine is pretty reasonably-priced. Sex machines don't come cheap, and this is one of the cheapest you'll find that isn't just a thrusting dildo. However, the Hismith Tabletop 2.0 Max is only $50 more, offers more versatility and is more sturdy than the Lovense Mini. It all comes down to what you're looking for, and how much you're willing to fork out. Just keep in mind that, although on their website Lovense say that this machine was originally $800 and has been reduced, you'll find it priced at $399 everywhere, so this is likely just a marketing tactic.

Performance

Using this sex machine didn't blow my mind like I secretly hoped it would, but it did meet most of my expectations (and exceeded one or two). It was powerful enough for my needs, and when used on a soft surface, felt just steady enough for me to focus on pleasure rather than the machine itself. For a sex machine beginner, it performed very well!

Packaging

The Lovense Mini Sex Machine comes in a white cardboard box with a picture of the product and its name on the side — very standard Lovense packaging. Usually, I would just throw this away, but since this machine doesn't come with a storage case, I've kept it around to store it in. It's definitely not discreet, so you should keep that in mind if you plan to keep the box around in view.

Materials and care

This sex machine, like most others, is not waterproof or even splashproof. If you need to clean the machine itself, unplug it first, then use a clean, damp cloth with some soap or toy cleaner on it. Afterward, make sure it's totally dry before using it again. However, the silicone dildo is completely waterproof and can be detached for easy cleaning. Simply rinse it under water and use a mild, unscented soap, making sure to get into all the crevices. Again, make sure it's totally dry after cleaning, especially around the metal connector.

Special feature

Undoubtedly, the most special feature of the Lovense Mini Sex Machine is that it can connect to the Lovense Remote app. You can use all of the usual app features, including live control of the machine, syncing the movements to music or your voice, creating and using patterns, and, of course, having someone else control from anywhere in the world. However, some features are not really designed to be used with a sex machine, and don’t work so well — the patterns and syncing work much better with vibrations than movements of a sex machine. One cool thing unique to Lovense sex machines is that, using the app, you can actually control other Lovense toys using the sex machine’s handheld remote!