The DDLG Relationship: Your Essential Guide to a Misunderstood Kink

By Edwina / June 01, 2022

The DDLG relationship is a misunderstood, role-playing kink.

But exactly what is DDLG? What does DDLG stand for? And what does it mean to have a DDLG relationship?

I will answer all of those questions in this essential guide to DDLG, as well as addressing the DDLG rules and responsibilities.

As a result, I hope to clear up the stigma surrounding this kink while presenting everything you ever wanted to know about DDLG.

What Does DDLG Stand for?

DDLG is an acronym that stands for Daddy Dom, Little Girl. This term is used in the BDSM and kink community to describe just one of the possible relationships under the umbrella of CGL or Care Giver, Little relationship as well as age-play.

What is DDLG?

DDLG Relationship Clothing Adult Onesie
I Love Daddy Adult Onesie

DDLG is a role-playing and age-play kink that falls under the label of a type of BDSM. However, some people may role play DDLG as an occasional part of spicing things up in the bedroom.

Further, DDLG is a relationship between two, consenting adults; a dominant partner, acting as the adult care giver, and a submissive, acting as the child. In this case Daddy is the dominant and the Little Girl is the submissive. Although, roles can and are switched, depending on the desires of those engaging in age-play.

Two Types of the DDLG Relationship

There are two types of Daddy Dom, Little Girl age-play relationships, each with their own specific rules. However, as with any type of role-playing relationship, both partners are in control of the scenario and lines can be blurred.

Here are the two main types of DDLG play:

Age-Play DDLG

During age-play, the little chooses which age they want to be and can play the submissive or trade places with the dominant. This type of DDLG is most always sexual in nature.

Age-Regression DDLG

In this type of DDLG role-playing, the submissive regresses to a chosen age. Usually, the age is chosen to coincide with a negative upbringing or childhood incident in order to experience love and positive interactions from their Daddy. This type of DDLG relationship is always non-sexual in nature.

What Does the Dom Daddy Get Out of the DDLG Relationship?

Just as the submissive (or little) sometimes regresses in age in order to replay painful, childhood experiences in a positive and loving way, the dominant (Daddy) may be doing the same. For instance, the dominant in the scenario may have had incredibly horrible parents. Therefore, through DDLG role-playing, he is able to parent and care for his little in the manner he desired as a child.

This can include discipline, physical affection, attention and spoiling their little.

Additionally, in some cases, the dominant enjoys the aesthetic of innocence, meaning, the way the submissive dresses. For example, some men like the look of girly dresses with little flowers, lacey, ankle socks and Mary-Jane shoes along with adorable hair bows and white, cotton panties. However, they in no way, are attracted to children. Rather, they are turned on by the look of innocence.

Which, by the way, is no different than being turned on by baby doll lingerie, garter belts or school girl costumes.

Therefore, each Daddy, as an individual, has his own unique physical and emotional benefits from this type of role-playing.

Are There Types of Caregiver Relationships Other Than the DDLG Relationship?

CGL Relationship Tree Graphic
CGL Relationship Tree from DDLG Outfits

Even though we are speaking specifically to the DDLG relationship in this article, I’d like to quickly address other types of CGL relationships, as not to be so gender-specific and leave anyone out. According to the  website, DDLG Playground:

“This is also referred to as ageplay, and goes hand in hand with the ABDL community, which is an acronym for ‘Adult Baby Diaper Lover’.

There are many different variations of DD/LG relationships that swap genders and roles accordingly, and they each have their own acronyms as well!

Below are {sic} a list of different takes of the classic DD/LG relationship:”

  • MDLG: Mommy Dom Little Girl
  • MDLB: Mommy Dom Little Boy
  • DDLB: Daddy Dom Little Boy
  • TDLB: Trans Daddy Little Boy
  • TDLG Trans Daddy Little Girl
  • TMLG: Trans Mommy Little Girl
  • TMLB: Trans Mommy Little Boy
  • CGL: Generic term for any Caregiver & Little relationship

Why Are The DDLG Relationship and Other CGL Relationships Misunderstood?

When people hear about DDLG and other CGL relationships, their minds usually go to a dark and icky place. And it is because of these misconceptions that those within this role-playing community may find it difficult to share this with friends and family, thus, keeping it their deep, dark secret. But that is why people, like myself, write articles like this in order to educate the public and dispel those myths.

Besides, who are we to yuck someone else’s yum? Role-playing can be a blast and can bring partners closer together, as well as adding a spark to their relationship that most of us never get to experience. So, please read on and learn about the myths surrounding the DDLG relationship.

Common Misconceptions of the DDLG Relationship

DDLG Relationship Misconceptions photo of man and women practicing light BDSM

Here are just some of the common misconceptions when it comes to any type of CGL role-playing, including the DDLG relationship.

As it happens, when I mentioned writing this article to my social media friends, I received all sorts of comments from people who were uninformed on this subject and wrongfully misjudged it. Therefore, it shows that a majority of people, myself included, have misconceptions about this type of kink relationship.

Pedophilia:

Pedophilia is a mental illness in which an adult is sexually attracted to children. However, a DDLG or other CGL relationship does not involve children. Rather, these are consenting adults role-playing as children. Therefore, there is a huge difference between pedophilia and a CGL role-playing relationship. Plus, in age-regression, there isn’t any sex involved.

All of which disputes the myth that those who are in a DDLG relationship are pedophiles.

Incest:

Incest is sexual contact between any blood relative. In the case of CGL relationships, it’s not considered incest, as the adults whom are role playing are not relatives. Additionally, the terms Mommy and Daddy simply signify a beloved authority figure and not an actual parent.

I mean, who hasn’t heard the term “Big Daddy” or used the word Daddy during sex? It doesn’t refer to father, it’s just an endearing term representing a beloved authority figure. Besides, it is NOT Daddy Dom, Little Daughter, now, is it?

Therefore, DDLG is not incest in any way, shape or form.

Someone Playing DDLG Must Have Mommy and Daddy Issues:

Generally, in most cases of DDLG and other CGL relationships, it’s simply 2 consenting adults who are role-playing in a way that they enjoy.

However, in age regression play, yes, the act of the submissive reverting to a childhood state, can be a way of working through childhood trauma, in a safe and loving atmosphere. Therefore, this misconception is only partially correct.

People Who Are in DDLG Relationships Are Mentally Ill

Every human being has either a dominant or submissive side. Some of us have a little bit of both. These personality traits are played out in our everyday lives. And yes, in intimate scenarios too. Some people do so by role-playing via various characters; some going as far as BDSM and CGL role-playing.

Therefore, just because one may enjoy playing a dominant role or be a submissive, doesn’t mean they are mentally ill. It is simply a way to work through the daily frustrations in life with someone you love and trust, while doing so in an exciting and theatrical way.

And to be honest, I find that mentally healthy!

The DDLG Relationship

“DDLG relationships involve the submissive age-regressing to a younger and more child-like state of mind, while giving up some degree of control, and allowing themselves to be “taken care of” by their dominant partner.”

This quote from DDLG Playground sums up the submissive side of the relationship. However, the dynamic of the relationship, as a whole, can vary according to the players’ own desires.

For example, the little in the DDLG relationship may also agree to punishments, may intentionally have tantrums, acting like a spoiled child, in order to receive the punishments. And those punishments can range from having a toy taken away to spankings or even sexual punishments like withholding of orgasm.

Furthermore, the Daddy in the DDLG relationship is the caregiver. He can care for his little, feeding, clothing and providing toys and entertainment as well as doling out punishments for misbehaviors such as not picking up toys, dressing inappropriately or having tantrums.

Finally, as I mentioned earlier, these are two consenting adults, role-playing a dominant and submissive relationship. As such, they are free to create any scenarios they choose. And that, is the beauty of the DDLG relationship as well as that of other CGL relationships.

What Do You Want from a DDGL Relationship?

Yes, Daddy Panties, clothing for DDLG role-playing
Yes, Daddy Heart Panties from DDLG Playground

Aside from simple fantasy, role-playing, some may be looking for ways to write over childhood traumas by age regression play. Or do so by taking on the role of the caregiver they never had. Further, maybe someone is attracted to the thought of being cared for, spoiled or even disciplined. Finally, some may find the aesthetic of youth to be arousing, without actually being attracted to children.

After all, how many school girl costumes and baby doll style lingerie do you see on adult product websites? Yes, it’s an attraction some people have.

Personally, I find the thought of escaping to childhood – leaving all adult responsibilities behind – intriguing! Having someone care for me entirely while I color, play games and nap among piles of fluffy pillows, soft blankets and piles of squishy, plush toys? Yes, please.

So, no matter what it is you are looking for in a DDLG relationship, or any other CGL relationship, you are free to make your own DDLG rules and scenarios with your partner. It’s your play to write and your desires to fulfill.

Protecting Youth in the CGL Community

From DDLG Playground:

“Since age regression involves fully-consenting adults participating in youthful or child-like acts for innocent fun, this also makes it even more important to protect ACTUAL children from getting mixed up with this community! Adult sexual predators may target this specific community because of this reason, and prey on actual children who have mistakenly associated themselves with an adult kink! It is absolutely critical to keep minors out of kink! #NMIK (No Minors In Kink!).”

So, if you’ve had the misconception that people who are a part of the BDSM and kink community are simply perverts or people with mental illness, the above quote from the DDLG Playground, speaks volumes.

People who enjoy this type of role-playing are fully aware of the bad people out there that use this as an excuse to play out sick fantasies with actual minors. That is why they stick together and are careful of who is brought into their circle.

Between You and Your Daddy Dom

When you decide to go into a DDLG relationship with a partner, it is your picture to paint. Together, you and your partner decide how your role-playing sessions will go. For example, will Daddy always be the dominant or will you switch roles? Will your relationship involve sex or will it be age regression play only?

Most importantly, in seeking a DDLG relationship partner, be sure and look for a Daddy that possesses the adult attributes you seek specifically; like their job, responsibilities, ambitions, life-goals etc. Similarly, as a caregiver, you’ll want to look for the attributes you seek in a little. That way, you’ll ensure the dynamic you are looking for in a CGL relationship.

Question Examples:

Here are some questions and topics to discuss with your role-playing partner:

  1. Do you want to mix romance and sex, or do you want to keep it as a caring play?
  2. How often do you want to play?
  3. Do you want to play in public?
  4. Are there any special events/ moods/ settings that make you enter Little Space?
  5. Will you be a little brat or will you behave yourself?
  6. Are you going to submit to your Daddy Dom?
  7. How do you imagine your ideal Daddy Dom?
  8. Are you willing to switch roles?
  9. Have you chosen age regression or are you open to any age-play?
  10. Are you willing to set and abide by ground rules?

Sex or No Sex

CGL Meme

The most important decision you’ll be making when it comes to your DDLG rules and relationship is whether it will be about sex, or not. As mentioned above, simple age-play and role-playing often include sex. However, if your little only wants age-regression play, then most-likely, no sex will be involved at all. Therefore, it is critical that the rules and expectations are laid out before the DDLG relationships is even formed.

Finally, this type of role-playing is just that. It is a type of kink that you create with a trusted, adult partner. And if you so choose, you can mix the types of age-play and blur those lines, so long as it’s agreed upon with your partner. So, create your fantasy and head off to your little space, together!

What Is a Little Space?

The little space can be an actual place, a state of mind, or both. According to a blog post from DDLG Outfits:

“In DDLG, falling into little space is a huge part of becoming a little. Some littles use triggers to get there, such as sucking on their thumb or a pacifier, doodling on a coloring book, or just curling up with their stuffies.

Some littles sink into little space after a long day of work and some do it once a week or once a month when they meet with their daddies for playtime. Maybe you’re in little space almost all of the time.

However often you get to experience little space, it’s that warm, fuzzy feeling you have every time you feel safe in your environment. When you can just be tiny, carefree, and protected.

Little space doesn’t always mean you have to have a daddy around either. You can be alone in your room, reading Harry Potter and surrounded by soft pillows and a dozen stuffies. Or you can be around friends, finger painting sculptures {sic}.”

Making the Little Space Your Own

Making Your Little Space Your Own in a DDLG relationship

Creating a physical little space is something you can do with your Daddy or by yourself. The physical space should be conducive to the type of play you’ll be participating in. For instance, if your DDLG relationship is purely age-regression and caregiver, then your space can be filled with plush animals, play tents, boxes filled with toys and plush furnishings in which to relax and snuggle.

However, if your DDLG relationship is an age-play or a combination of both, you’ll want your space to include areas for punishment, bondage and intimacy as well as childlike play. For example, a bed that can accommodate sexual restraints and sex-play, furniture that you can share and a box to tuck away sex toys will be perfect for both the little and the Daddy.

Use your imagination. Find things that make you feel happy, safe and secure, as well as things you can share with your caregiver like games, activities and crafts. It’s your stage to set, enjoy it!

Clothing and Accessories

Bling Adult Pacifier showing accessories for CGL play
Bling Adult Pacifier from DDLG Playground

Finding clothing and accessories for age-play isn’t as easy as you may think. Unfortunately, because of the misconceptions of this particular kink, adult shops that sell lingerie and sex toys, don’t cater to age-play. Therefore, you’ll have to do a bit of searching and find online shops that sell adult-sized children’s clothing, diapers and pull-ups and accessories like pacifiers, stuffed toys and shoes.

As far as sex toys go, you can find anything you want from online sex toy shops. Things you may want to consider are BDSM sets, paddles and floggers and matching bondage restraint sets as well as any sex toy kits you both wish to share.

What To Do During DDLG Play

While discussing your DDLG relationship, you’ll also want to decide on things you’d like to do with your Daddy or little. These can be things indoors, inside the physical, little space. Or these can be activities that can take place in public. In the end, all of the activities you choose should evoke the feelings and emotions you both are trying to create.

Things to do while role playing
DDLG Coloring Book

Some ideas for play are:

  • Arts and crafts
  • Reading story books
  • Going to a park or beach
  • Playing board games
  • Enjoying video games
  • Watching children’s movies
  • Cuddling on the couch
  • Having a tea party or picnic
  • Shopping together
  • Bathing, feeding and changing
  • Grooming

DDLG Rules

When beginning a CGL relationship, once you have discussed expectations, you must then set up DDLG rules. These rules are a significant part of role-playing and the DDLG relationship. Therefore, the most crucial thing to do first is to set up your safe words.

Safe words are to be used when you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or want the role-playing, punishment or other activity to stop. And yes, that includes intimacy. So, no matter what rules you set as the Daddy or the little, the safe word always trumps everything else.

Once the safe word is established, then the Daddy, or dominant in the relationship, sets the rules by which the little must abide. Here are just some of the examples I found online:

DDLG Rules Examples:

  • You must be nice and polite.
  • The little must always be understanding and honest.
  • Always call your caregiver “Daddy” or “Sir”.
  • Bedtime is set by the caregiver, if Daddy tells you to go to bed earlier, you must listen.
  • Sir will choose your outfits, and you must ask permission when changing clothes.
  • Brush your teeth twice a day.
  • A good baby always uses “Please” and “Thank you.”
  • Hold Daddy’s hand when crossing the street.
  • Talk to Daddy if you feel upset about something.
  • Daddy will always tie your shoes and buckle your seat belt.
  • No swearing, no talking back.
  • You must ask to touch your princess parts and ask again to orgasm.
  • Take your Teddy bear to bed.
  • Wear diapers or pull-ups during the night.
  • Trust Daddy’s decision. Daddy always knows what’s best.
  • Swallow with a smile.
  • Accept all spankings and punishments like a good girl.
  • Give Daddy lots and lots of kisses, hugs, and cuddles.
  • Princess will not be a brat.
  • Collar (if agreed upon) to be worn at all times, unless around family.

Remember, these are simply suggestions that you can use during DDLG play. You are free to set your own rules and guidelines! Again, this is your fantasy! Make it what you want it to be.

Daddy’s Responsibilities

DDLG Rules meme

During DDLG role-playing, Daddy has certain responsibilities that he must take care of. First and foremost is obtaining consent. Consent is required for any type of intimate contact with a partner. And that includes everything from vanilla sex between a couple, all the way to the complicated relationship between a little and his/her/their caregiver.

Secondly, Daddy is required to take care of his little. This includes, but isn’t limited to, providing for the little’s needs, following the rules set forth between the couple, giving equal amounts of love and discipline and fulfilling the little’s desires, needs and wants.

Finally, Daddy must be a good role model in the role-playing scenario. For instance, this is done by leading by example with behaviors, good habits and being consistent with affection, intimacy and discipline. The little should look up to Daddy and admire him for these things.

The Little Girl’s Responsibilities

The little’s responsibilities in the DDLG relationship are simple; follow the rules set up prior to beginning the age-play scenarios. Sure, the little can add a bit of spice to the role-playing by being a brat, throwing a tantrum or intentionally not following a rule in order to receive discipline. After all, perfect angels don’t receive spankings.

Over all, the little must respect Daddy, listen to Daddy and do what Daddy says when Daddy says to do it.

Exceptions to the DDLG Rules and Responsibilities

In role-playing, there are always exceptions, especially when it comes to DDLG rules and responsibilities. And those exceptions are as follows:

  1. This exception to the DDLG rules is when the Daddy and little swap positions. Usually, the dominant and submissive stay in those roles. However, with some relationship dynamics, the couple chooses to trade positions in order to fulfill fantasies of relinquishing power or being the rule enforcer.
  2. The most important exception to the DDLG rules, as with all CGL role-playing, is when either party revokes consent. This is usually done by using the predetermined safe word. However, the Daddy and/or the little can also revoke consent any time outside of the role-playing scenario.

Punishments for Breaking the Rules

Baby BDSM paddle for DDLG Rules
“Baby” BDSM Paddle from Hustler Hollywood, you can also check out the similar Slut Paddle

In making rules for your DDLG relationship, you must also establish what punishments will be doled out when breaking the DDLG rules. You can be as creative as you choose, as well as including whatever punishments your Daddy or the little will accept. Or it can be something the Daddy or little may enjoy, for example, a spanking.

Here are some suggestions for punishments:

  • A spanking
  • Taking away beloved toys
  • Cancelling an outing
  • Sending the little to bed early
  • Withholding intimacy and orgasm (in age-play scenarios)
  • No bedtime story
  • Bathing alone
  • Standing in the corner
  • Writing sentences

Keep in mind that these punishments will be different depending on whether you are role-playing age regression (no sex) or age-playing (sexual intimacy). Plus, your punishments can be as creative as you choose them to be. One the other hand, what you consider breaking the DDLG rules will vary, depending on what the two of you discussed in the beginning.

In the end, a DDLG relationship comes down to 4 important things; trust, respect, caring and consent. Not coincidentally, these are also things that are important in all relationships, whether in role-playing or real life. Friendships, dating, marriage, sexual relationships should all be based on these things.

And role-playing relationships are no different.

Whether you are the dominant (Daddy) or the submissive (little), you must trust and give trust. You must mutually care for one another along with respecting your partner. And finally, and I cannot mention this enough, consent is key to a positive and fulfilling relationship of any kind, especially DDLG relationships.

Considering a DDLG Relationship or Other CGL Kink?

Cute Bunny Onesie for DDLG role playing
Cute Bunny Onesie from Too Timid

If you’ve read this far, it’s obvious you are either curious about DDLG relationships and what it means, or you are interested in exploring the world of CGL kink. But now that you know all of the details, you may be curious how to get started in this exciting kink. Hopefully, the following links will assist you in your journey and in finding the CGL or DDLG relationship you are looking for.

I know my interest is certainly piqued!

Good luck and enjoy!

DDLG Relationship Resources

The DDLG Forum: A wealth of information, FAQs, ideas for play, areas for littles as well as caregivers, resources and a personals area where you can meet a partner for play. They even have an entire category dedicated for holiday arts and crafts ideas.

DDLG Playground: This is a retail site for any clothing and supplies you want and need for DDLG and other CGL relationship play. They also have an informative blog section.

A Wonderful DDLG Sub Reddit: A place to meet, learn, vent, share photos and experiences with others in the DDLG community. A very supportive place!

DDLG Friends: A place to meet others interested in a CGL relationship along with photo sharing, forums and more. A (free) membership is required before viewing member photos or reading the forum posts.

FetLife: Fetish Life is the social media platform for those in the BDSM, fetish and kink community.