I’m a firm believer that it’s never too late to teach an old dildo new tricks.
I have no doubt that you and your trusty friend have a good thing going, but when was the last time you tried something new together?
We are all unique when it comes to pleasure, and sometimes it can take a little experimentation to find the technique that leaves you shook and daydreaming of your next date with your dildo!
This guide will focus on how to use a dildo for vulva owners, but if you have a penis, we’ve got some fantastic dildo tips and techniques for men as well!
How to Use a Dildo for the First Time
- Set the mood. Create the context for pleasure and get yourself feeling sexy — light a candle, play some music, and set up your space. This is also a good time to give your dildo a clean and make sure you’ve got some lube on hand.
- Get yourself aroused. Fantasize, watch some ethical porn, listen to erotic audio, or read some erotic fiction. Get curious and explore your body, teasing your skin with a sensual touch or deeper massage. The nipples and inner thighs can feel particularly pleasurable.
- Apply some lube to your dildo and a little to your vulva. If you are using a silicone dildo, make sure to only use water-based lubrication.
- Now you can use the dildo to gently massage your vulva, running it up and down between the labia and over your clitoris. Try to move slowly and focus on the sensations — Where does it feel good? Does a light or firm pressure feel good?
- When you are fully aroused, apply more lube to the dildo, making sure to cover the whole shaft, and then slowly insert the tip of the dildo into your vagina. Slide the tip in and out slowly. It may help to use two fingers on your free hand to gently spread your labia apart.
- When you feel ready, slowly slide more of the shaft into your vagina. You can also do this by rocking your hips back and forth, as you would during penis in vagina sex.
- Remember you don’t have to insert the whole dildo. Only insert as much as feels good to you. Your g-spot is only a couple of inches inside your vagina, so you may find that shallow penetration feels better for you.
- Experiment with different movements and speeds. Thrusting, twisting, grinding can all feel fantastic.
Keep in mind that the majority of vulva owners need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, so if you don’t orgasm just from penetration with a dildo, that’s totally normal! If it felt good, you’re doing it right! You can always use your fingers or another toy to add in some clitoral stimulation.
How to Properly Use a Dildo – Techniques to Try Today!
So we all understand the basic premise of using a dildo, but slight changes in movement, angle, and speed can really make a difference when it comes to getting the right type of stimulation.
How to Use a Dildo for G-spot Stimulation
When we talk about the G-spot, we are actually talking about the internal structure of the clitoris. The external clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg and it extends inside and around the vaginal canal. When aroused the internal clitoris swells and can be stimulated through the wall of the vagina.
Generally this sensitive area lies on the front wall of the vagina (towards the belly button) and a few inches in. However, every person’s anatomy is a little different, so experimentation is key when it comes to G-spot stimulation.
First of all, it’s really important to spend some time getting yourself aroused so you the internal structure swells and becomes easier to find and stimulate. If you like, you can start by inserting your finger and stroking the area to search out those sensitive sweet spots.
Next, take your dildo and insert the first 2-3 inches. Angle it upwards towards the front wall of your vagina. You can then rock or rub the tip of your dildo back and forth over your g-spot. Vary the strokes and speed until you find what works for you.
Curved dildos with bulbed ends are the best option for g-spot stimulation as they make it easy to reach your g-spot and save you from getting the dreaded hand cramp!
How to Use a Dildo for A-spot Stimulation
The a-spot, or anterior fornix erogenous zone, is found deeper inside the vagina, near the cervix. Stimulating the a-spot can give you a big boost of natural lubrication and can even lead to an A-spot orgasm for some!
Long dildos with a curved tip will allow you to stimulate your a-spot. For most people, the A-spot responds best to pressure, so once you find it, use your dildo to press on the area, moving it in circles or side to side. You want to be careful not to thrust too hard, as bumping the cervix can be pretty painful.
Just the Tip
The opening of your vagina is full of sensitive nerve endings that can be stimulated by inserting and removing the tip of a dildo.
This works really well with a realistic dildo with a sculpted head, like the Lifelike Lover Luxe.
While you are unlikely to orgasm from this type of stimulation, it can really build arousal and is a great way to warm up for other types of stimulation.
Ride Your Dildo
Riding your dildo cowgirl style gets your hips in on the action.
Many vulva owners find that rocking their hips actually helps them to orgasm. A suction cup dildo is perfect for this as you can suction it to any flat, horizontal surface and you are ready to ride!
Another fantastic option is a sex toy mount, like the Liberator BonBon, that holds your dildo in place while you ride right to pleasure town.
Both options have the added bonus of leaving your hands free to tease other erogenous zones like the nipples and clitoris.
Clitoral Stimulation
Dildos aren’t just for internal play. Sliding it over your vulva can feel more like the touch of a partner’s finger or penis.
You can rub the tip of your lubed-up dildo back and forth over your clitoris for pinpoint stimulation, or lay your dildo flat between your labia and rub it up and down to stimulate your whole vulva.
If you enjoy grinding, you can also lie your dildo flat on a cushion and grind back and forth over it, getting some intensely pleasurable clit stimulation.
Double Penetration
You definitely don’t need multiple partners to enjoy the intense satisfaction of double penetration. There’s a dildo, or two, for that!
Double penetration, vaginal and anal, can create a wonderfully full feeling and the pressure on the vaginal wall can make everything feel deliciously intense.
If you are trying it for the first time, you could start with one dildo and your fingers, or two slim dildos. Always use plenty of lube — the wetter the better and start by grinding into the dildos rather thrusting them.
How to Use a Dildo Anally
The anus is another wonderfully sensitive but often unexplored spot.
You can use your dildo to massage the area around your anus or insert the dildo to explore anal penetration.
Remember, only use dildos with a wide flared base for anal penetration to prevent the toy from being fully inserted, and use plenty of lubrication as the anus is not self-lubricating.
You should never use the same dildo for anal and vaginal play unless you use a condom between uses.
A smooth, slim anal dildo is a good option for anyone new to using a dildo anally.
Different Strokes for Different Folks
Long, Slow Thrusts
Long slow thrusts can feel fantastic with a ribbed or textured dildo. The raised details rub against all your sensitive nerve endings with each movement, resulting in some delicious internal stimulation.
Shallow, Fast Thrusts
Short, fast thrusts are good for working yourself up into a frenzy and are more likely to give you some g-spot stimulation. Having a dildo with a suction cup base gives you something to hold onto!
Twisting
Twisting a dildo as you simultaneously move it in and out creates a 360 degree stimulation, teasing every internal surface. A textured dildo can enhance the sensation, with the raised details exciting your nerve endings as they glide over them.
Next Level Dildo Play
Once you’ve mastered the basics, there are plenty of ways to add a little kink to your solo dildo play to keep things just as exciting as the day you unwrapped your phallic friend!
Temperature Play
Dildos made from borosilicate glass or stainless steel can be heated or cooled to add some thrilling sensations to your dildo play.
As well as responding to different types of touch, the sensitive nerve endings in your genitals also respond to heat. Simply place the dildo in some hot or cold water for a few minutes before using it.
Always check the temperature somewhere else on your body, like your inner arm, first to check that it’s not too hot or cold.
Put on a Show for Yourself
A lot of people balk at the idea of looking at their own genitals let alone watching themselves masturbate, but hear me out.
Watching yourself masturbate in the mirror or even filming yourself masturbating can be incredibly arousing and empowering. It can also help improve your self-confidence and your relationship with your body!
Give Your Dildo a Blowjob
Another one that might sound a little odd at first. I mean why give oral sex to something that can’t feel anything? Giving your dildo a blowjob can feel incredibly sexy. Fantasize that you are pleasuring a partner purely for your own desire or just enjoy the full feeling in your mouth.
This is great as masturbation foreplay or as an extra during the main event. Watching yourself in the mirror while you do it can add even more excitement.
Different Dildos and How to Use Them
How to Use a Suction Cup Dildo
Whoever thought of adding a suction cup to a dildo was a real forward thinker and really did us all a solid!
That simple addition opened up a whole host of dildo riding opportunities!
Suction cup dildos can be stuck to any smooth, flat surface, and leave your hands-free for other fun!
The Bath Tub Beauty
The bathroom is the perfect place to get some alone time. You can the dildo to the smooth bottom of the tub and use the sides of the tub for support as you move up and down on the dildo.
Reverse Riding
A dining chair also makes for a great place to mount a suction cup dildo. When you ride reverse, the back of the chair can add more support, so you won’t lose your balance!
Solo Suction Cup Doggy Style
This works best with a table leg as it leaves more space for your legs but can also be done with a wall. Once you find the correct height, suction your dildo to the table leg and you are good to go. You might want to put something soft under your knees just in case you get carried away!
How to Use a Double Dildo
Double dildos can be used in many different ways for solo play.
Double dildos that are formed into a u-shape and have a smaller end and a larger end are best for double penetration, as they are easier to control.
Soft, flexible double-ended dildos are great for exploring deep penetration, with the long shaft making a great handle. In this position, you can also get some added stimulation by pulling the extra shaft up against your clitoris.
How to Use a Large Dildo
Thick dildos are essentially the same as any other dildo, but you’ll want to take some extra time and steps to warm up before diving right in with a large dildo.
Start with a lot of foreplay to allow your body to prepare for penetrative play and then use your fingers or a smaller dildo to warm up before slowly inserting the larger dildo. Always take your time and tune into how you are feeling. Pleasure is always the goal!
You’ll also want to use extra lube with a big dildo and remember to reapply if things start to feel uncomfortable.
How to Use a Squirting Dildo
If you crave the feeling of ejaculation just as you climax, a squirting dildo is just what you are looking for!
Simply fill your dildo with fake lube and ride until you are ready for an explosive ending!
The squirting mechanism varies from model to model but all are designed for easy ejaculation on demand!
After you’ve had your fun, don’t forget to thank your dildo by giving a it a good clean. Some warm water and fragrance-free soap is all you need!