Pegging is having a moment right now, and here at Bedbible we fully support it! Some satisfying anal play in a way that’s exciting, different and flips the scripts on traditional dynamics – what’s not to love? Pegging can be a great way to connect with your partner and explore both of your roles during sex, and can also feel pretty amazing.
If you’re intrigued and want to give it a go, here’s our step-by-step guide and how to prepare for pegging, from the kinds of things to think about beforehand, which products to try out, and how to get the most out of your pegging experience.
Talk About It
For a lot of people, and maybe you too, pegging is a pretty big departure from what they and their partner are used to during sex.
Whether you’re interested in giving or receiving, it’s important that both you and your partner are on the same page about what you want to do before you actually start preparing anything. So, I wouldn’t exactly recommend showing up one evening all dressed up in a harness and dildo, ready to get down and dirty.
Instead, try bringing up the subject somewhere neutral (i.e. not in the bedroom), and explain why you’re interested in it. It could be because you’ve experimented with a finger or two up there before and you’d like to go further, or perhaps you’re interested in the power-play side of things. Whatever the reason, discuss it with your partner, give them an opportunity to think and read more about it, and ask if they’d be interested!
Get Clean
Once you’ve both given it a big thumbs up and are ready to go ahead, it’s time to think about how to prepare for pegging itself. Given the parts of the body that it involves, you might need to do a bit of cleaning up beforehand if you’re afraid of making a mess.
Anal play involves the anus (the opening), and the rectum (the last few inches of the digestive tract). The body doesn’t store poop in the rectum for very long, so if there’s anything in there you’ll feel the urge to get it out – this may be a no-brainer, but don’t do anal if you feel like you need to poop!
But even if you feel like you’re in the clear, there might be a few remnants left inside there which can show up on any toys or fingers that you insert. Some things that you can do to prevent this are:
- Having a shower beforehand. Rinse your anus with soap and water and use a finger to gently probe inside a little and wash it out.
- Use an anal douche with a flexible tip a few hours before you play to rinse everything out.
- Use condoms and/or gloves if you’re really concerned about mess.
You can also help yourself by staying away from things you know can make your stomach feel funny, like coffee or spicy foods.
All in all, you shouldn’t expect pegging to be a particularly spontaneous activity. Doing a little cleaning prep beforehand can make the experience a lot more comfortable and enjoyable for both of you!
Warm Up
Okay, you’re all cleaned up and ready to for full-on pegging penetration, right? Uh, well not quite. Depending on your level of previous experience with anal play, your body may need some more time to warm up to the idea.
Create a super sexy atmosphere and prevent any pain or discomfort at the same time by paying attention to your or your partner’s other sweet spots and getting all aroused. After all, you want pegging to be an intimate and sensual experience, not an ordeal.
Kissing, hand jobs, oral… all the kinds of things that you might do to get things hot and heavy before ‘normal’ sex are fair game. Remember, foreplay is important for everyone!
Lube, Lube, Lube!
If we could only recommend one thing for people to buy that would improve their sex life, it would be a good water-based lube, and this is no exception. Your butt doesn’t self-lubricate like your other sexy parts, so you’ll need a whole lot of anal lube when inserting anything up there or you’re in for a pretty uncomfortable and potentially painful experience.
Water-based lube is usually the best choice because it’s easy to clean up, won’t stain your sheets, and won’t damage your silicone sex toys like a silicone- or other substance-based lube. Also, while it may be tempting to opt for a numbing lube to ease any discomfort, it would probably do more harm than good. Your butt is a sensitive region, and any pain you might feel there during anal play is a big red flag telling you to stop immediately! If you numb that pain, you could end up keeping going with something that should be hurting you and getting injured, and we don’t want that.
Try a Finger
We’re finally here! The actual penetration section of how to prepare for pegging!
Please, we beg you, don’t just try and jam a dildo up there. Even with a whole lot of lube, that’s likely to pretty painful – your sphincter (the ring of muscle around your anus) needs some relaxing before you can insert anything up there comfortably.
So, try massaging the muscles around the anus to relax them, using some lube to get everything slippery and extra-pleasurable. When the receiver is ready, you can take a single lubed-up finger and, slowly and gently, insert it in the anus. When they’re ready, you can start moving the finger around in circles, thrusting it in and out a little, and even massaging the prostate (about 2 inches in) using a ‘come hither’ motion (like you would when massaging the g-spot).
If your receiver is craving even more, you could turn up the heat and insert another (well-lubed) finger for a real feeling of fullness. Alternatively, you could also go for a beginner’s butt plug, which leaves both hands free for playing with their other erogenous zones. One with a diameter of around 1 inch is probably a good starting point, like this one from Lovehoney, though there are some that are even smaller if you want to really ease yourself into the idea. This Mood Naughty butt plug is only 0.75 inches wide, which will be easy to insert but may not offer so much stimulation once inside.
Work Up to a Dildo
Okay, if you followed all of our instructions so far, you’re all primed and ready to get to full-on pegging!
When most people think of pegging, they think of a dildo and a harness, and they’re not wrong. Using a harness allows you to play hands-free and really immerse yourself in the role-playing and power-playing aspects of pegging, but choosing which harness and dildos will suit you both can be tricky and even a little overwhelming. Luckily, we have a few suggestions…
Beginner’s pegging kits can be a great all-in-one option for those just getting into it, like the Tracey Cox Supersex strap-on set, which came out on top in our pegging dildo rankings. It comes with 2 silicone dildos (one 0.9 inches wide and one 1.5 inches wide) and an adjustable harness with a pocket in the front for the included bullet vibrator, so the giver can get a little action, too. It also has 3 interchangeable O-rings that the dildos sit in, so you can also use any of your other-size dildos with it.
You can also buy them separately and customize your set-up. All you need is an adjustable harness that will be comfy for the wearer, and a slim dildo (think 0.75 to 1.5 inches in diameter). Your dildo should be smooth – a bulbous head or textured shaft can be tempting but they can make penetration harder and potentially painful for the uninitiated – and should have a flared base so it can be held in a harness and won’t get lost.
You could even make shopping for your pegging accessories a couple’s activity! Search together to find what kind of things you like the look of and get you in the mood – it could allow you to feel more connected to your partner and will make you both feel more prepared for what’s coming (hint: you, hopefully!).
Relax
And finally, remember that all of this is supposed to be fun and pleasurable. There’s no need to go too fast or cut any corners in your pegging prep, because it’s likely to just make your experience less enjoyable. If you’re nervous about being penetrated, you should try and take things slowly and only move on to the next stage when you feel comfortable and ready (and if you don’t want to, then stop and try something else – it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, after all).
Some things you can do to make it easier and to keep breathing and try not to tense up so your sphincter can relax as much as possible. One tip for penetrating for the first time is to press the finger or dildo up against the anus and slowly insert it as the receiver breathes out. You can stop and start that process as many times as you want until it’s inserted as far as you want it.
Some Positions to Try
A big part of how to prepare for pegging is simply finding what works best for you and your partner. There a lots of different positions to try, and what you may be used to with PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex may not be the same as what feels best when you’re pegging. Here are some ideas to experiment with:
Doggy-Style
Doggy-style is probably the quintessential pegging position. It allows easy access to the anus so you can easily enter your partner at a pace and depth that is comfortable for them. The giver can be on their knees, or can stand up with legs bent if you need a bit of extra height to be level with your partner’s anus.
Missionary
Good old Missionary – we love it because it works, it’s not too strenuous and it can feel great. You could peg your partner either by lying between their legs, or by having them raise their legs so you have easier access to their anus.
Cowboy
Get a little yee-haw with your pegging play by lying on your back and having the receiver ride the dildo on their knees. This allows them to control the experience a bit more, and can be great for those who are bit nervous about relinquishing control of the penetration. It can also allow you as the giver to pleasure your partner in other ways simultaneously, like stroking their penis while they ride.
If you want some more pegging position ideas, then check out this blog post by our resident sexpert Edwina! You can also find more resources throughout our blog on how to prepare for pegging, as well as all kinds of other fun and sexy activities.
