Masturbation really is the gift that just keeps giving. It’s a fun way to connect with your body, can reduce stress and boost mood, and can even make your partner sex better. Oh yeah, and it feels just great!
But sometimes, it can take a bit of practice to find your groove and figure out what moves work for you. There have also been some long-standing stigmas surrounding self-pleasure that may make you feel shy, embarrassed, or ashamed about masturbation.
No worries, today we are here to smash the stigmas, erase embarrassment and help you have the best masturbation session yet!
10 Masturbation Tips for Everyone
- Reframe your attitudes towards masturbation
Masturbation is a totally healthy, normal positive part of life that feels good and can have positive effects on your physical and mental well-being, as well as improving your sex life. A positive attitude towards masturbation makes it easier to dedicate time to enjoying your solo play and making it part of your self-care routine instead of just sneaking in a quick one and then pretending it never happened.
- Get to know your anatomy
Learning about your genitals and different erogenous zones can help you feel more comfortable with your body and help you to figure out which types of touch feel best in different places. Did you know that the clitoris is a whole structure that extends inside the body or that people with a prostate gland can experience an orgasm from prostate stimulation alone?
- Always warm-up
Many aspects, both physical and mental, play a role in arousal, so take the time to get your brain and body ready. Getting yourself aroused causes blood to rush to your sexual organs, increasing their sensitivity, so any stimulation will feel so much sweeter.
- Use lube
This cannot be said enough! Lube makes everything feel so much better. It creates a wonderful, slippery sensation that allows your fingers or sex toys to glide beautifully over your body. Trust me, friction is not your friend when it comes to the sensitive skin on your genitals! Get yourself some good water-based lubrication, like this one from Lovehoney, and always have it on hand!
- Don’t over-focus on having an orgasm
Sure, orgasms are great, but when you only focus on having an orgasm, you can miss out on enjoying all the amazing sensations along the way and can even make it harder to orgasm! Focussing too much on having an orgasm can put too much pressure on yourself, making it harder to orgasm. Slow down and enjoy the journey.
- Think about what type of masturbation you are in the mood for
Do you want a quick, powerful release or a slow and sensual build-up? Are you masturbating to explore new sensations or to help you sleep? Do you want to use sex toys or stick to using your hands?
- Try different ways to get turned on
While many of us are creatures of habit, our brains love novelty, so try to mix it up when it comes to getting yourself in the mood. Thanks to internet, we are spoilt for choice when it comes to erotic materials to get us going. Why not switch it up between porn, erotic writing, audio porn, or sexting, and of course the good old imagination?
- Practice mindfulness or deep breathing
Practicing some slow deep breathing or mindfulness can help you relax and connect to your body and feel each sensation more deeply.
- Take your time
Even if you know exactly how to get yourself over the finish line in record time, don’t race ahead to reach an orgasm. You will miss out on all of the other incredible sensations and could miss out on discovering new ways to enjoy your solo play. Of course, a quickie is great now and again, but not every time!
- Arouse all of your senses to really get you in the mood
Smell – Light a candle or use oils in a diffuser to create a sexy aroma, use some nice smelling moisturizer to give yourself a massage, or even give yourself a spritz of favorite perfume or aftershave.
Sound – Create your own sex playlist, listen to some audio porn or watch porn with the sound on.Sight – Watch some porn, look at some sexy photos, sext with a partner or check yourself out in the mirror.
Taste – Have something luxurious to eat like some dark chocolate.
Touch – Explore different textures and temperatures. Stainless steel sex toys are ideal for this as they are easy to heat or cool.
Masturbation Tips for People with Vulvas
All vulvas are different, and due to many things, including mood and hormone changes, what feels good one day might not on another, so be open to touching yourself in different ways to find out what feels good. Also, don’t forget to give your other erogenous zones, like your anus, nipples, and lips, some attention too!
Finesse Your Foreplay
- Take the time to engage in foreplay and warm-up. Your pleasure is definitely worth the extra time. Massaging your breasts and nipples or stroking your vulva outside your clothes can be a great way to get started before even getting undressed. It’s a great way to tell your brain that things are about to get good!
- Put on something that makes you feel sexy and take some time to admire yourself in front of the mirror, maybe even leave it on while you masturbate.
- Vary the type of touch you use on different parts of your body. For example, you can try grabbing your inner thighs and butt, biting your lip or running your nails across your skin.
- Use lube. Massage some water-based lubrication around your labia, vaginal opening, and around your clitoris.
Mix Up Your Masturbation Habits
- Try out different positions – As well as lying on your back, you can lie on your front and rub against your hand or a vibrator or release your inner cowgirl, using a pillow, rolled-up towel, or sex toy mount underneath you. Being able to rock your hips can increase your chance of having an orgasm.
- Try different patterns of touch in different places. For example, you can try circling your finger around your clitoris or stroking the inside of your labia.
- Go on tour. Masturbating in different places around the house can add some excitement to your regular repertoire. A suction cup dildo is the perfect accessory for getting adventurous around the house, as you can stick it on any smooth flat surface.
- Explore other parts of your body. If you always go straight to clitoral stimulation, maybe consider exploring some internal stimulation or anal play. Check out this complete guide on g-spot stimulation for some useful tips.
- Try to experience different types of orgasm. Experiment with trying to have a g-spot, a-spot, anal, or even nipple orgasm. Remember the orgasm isn’t the only goal though and even if you don’t reach an orgasm, you can still enjoy the ride.
Use Sex Toys
The new generation of clitoral stimulators uses the latest technology to stimulate the clitoris glans (the external part of the clitoris) indirectly and even stimulate some of the internal parts of the clitoris, making for some truly life-changing orgasms. I can highly recommend the Lelo Sona 2 Cruise, but be warned, this thing might leave you speechless and unable to stand!
These streamlined vibrators are perfect for tucking underneath you if you prefer grinding against something, and they are great for using to stimulate your nipples. They are also easy to throw in your bag for a little solo time on the go.
Suction cup dildos
Suction cup dildos allow you to ride hands-free and for as long as you want. You can stick them to the floor or a chair, or even a vertical surface like a wall or headboard for some solo doggy style. They are particularly great in the bathroom, with so many smooth flat surfaces to stick them to! To find out which one is right for you, check out this review of the best suction cup dildos, complete with inspiration on different ways to use it.
Dual stimulation sex toys, like rabbit vibrators or the new G-spot and clitoral suction combos, give you double the fun. We were lucky enough to get our hands on the three of the top dual stimulators so we could review them for you. Find out what we thought in our reviews of the Womanizer Duo, the Osé 2 from Lora DiCarlo, and the Lelo Sorya. This review has all the best rabbit vibrators on the market to help you find the perfect match.
Nipple suckers and nipple clamps
Nipples clamps or nipple suckers are a great way to add in some nipple stimulation without occupying your hands. Nipple suckers can also be used on your clitoris to encourage more blood flow and increase your sensitivity. Read more about nipple suckers and nipple clamps to work out which ones you should choose.
Butt plugs and anal beads
If you are up for trying some butt stuff, butt plugs and anal beads are a great place to start as they come in all sizes, starting from extra small. Using a butt plug can also enhance the sensations of vaginal penetration, so if you are intrigued by double penetration, you could try using a butt plug and a dildo at the same time.
Masturbation Tips for People with Penises
Work on Your Warm-Up
- Foreplay is a great way to get all of your senses and your brain engaged and ready for a mind-blowing masturbation session and it definitely isn’t only for vulva owners.
- Explore all your erogenous zones with different types of touch. You can try running your fingers through your hair to massage your scalp, lightly scratching your inner arm, or grabbing your inner thighs — whatever feels good to you.
- Don’t head straight to your penis. Take some time to massage your testicles or perineum (also known as the taint) with your hands or a sex toy.
Switch Up Your Solo Repertoire
- Try a different position
Yes, sitting down or lying on your back is a tried and true masturbation position, but doing the same thing every time can become mechanical and boring. Why not try standing up and leaning against a wall or kneeling so you can thrust your hips as well as moving your hands.
- Try a different location
If you always masturbate in bed or in your chair why not try masturbating at your desk, in the shower, or in front of a really big mirror.
- Switch hands
Try masturbating with your non-dominant hand for a different sensation.
- Experiment with different types of touch
You can vary the speed, pressure, or pattern of touch as well as focussing on different areas, like the frenulum (also known as the banjo string although its full name is apparently frenulum of prepuce of penis, which sounds like a regal ruler of the land if you ask me). Anyway, stimulating the frenulum alone can lead to some incredibly intense orgasms.
- Try having a prostate orgasm
Your prostate is a gland that can be stimulated externally by massaging the perineum or internally via the anus. Prostate milking or prostate orgasms can be achieved by only stimulating this small gland and feel can feel more like a full-body experience. Some people ejaculate when they have a prostate orgasm and some release a milky fluid from the prostate gland.
Try Using Sex Toys
Masturbator sleeves and Fleshlights
There are so many great options to choose from when it comes to masturbator sleeves. Fleshlight has an incredible range of sleeves with different textures and openings and you can even get them modeled on your favorite male and female adult actors. Try wedging one between a couple of cushions for some hand-free thrusting. Tenga Eggs fantastic option and they are super affordable. This guide has some great information on the different ways you can use a Fleshlight.
The Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential Masturbator uses oscillations rather than vibrations to stimulate the sensitive underside of your penis. This toy can even be used when you are flaccid and as a stroker or stationary.
Blow job machines
You can also recreate the delicious sensations of a blow job with machines. Blowmotion Warming Pulsating Rechargeable Vibrating Male Masturbator heats up while delivering 6 different patterns of vibrations and 6 patterns of pulsation for an intensely satisfying masturbation session.
Realistic torso’s, butts, vagina’s and sex dolls
Thankfully, these sex toys have come a long way in recent years and can make a fantastic addition to your masturbation routine, especially if you are looking for a lifelike experience. The Fuck Me Silly 2 torso from Pipedream has a super lifelike feel and a beautiful, curvy body with bouncy breasts and a vaginal and anal opening. Check out Edwina’s experience with it and watch the video.
Vibrating penis rings are great for some extra sensations to your usual masturbation habits. Both vibrating and non-vibrating penis rings can help you to achieve bigger and harder erections by trapping the blood supply in your penis, but non-vibrating penis rings usually provide a little more restriction so are a better option if you looking for something to prolong your hard-on.
These specially designed anal sex toys are shaped to stimulate your prostate. The Aneros Helix Syn is perfect for rocking yourself to some amazing anal orgasms, also leaving your hands free to stroke your penis. If you love vibrations. the Hugo from Lelo has two vibrating motors to stimulate your prostate internally and externally for some explosive orgasms.
Advanced Level Masturbation Techniques
Now that you are a master of the masturbatory arts, here are some advanced masturbation techniques to take your solo sessions to the next level.
Edging is a great technique for penis and vulva owners, and once you get the technique down, edging can help you reach some incredibly intense orgasms. It can be a bit tricky and take a bit of practice not to go over the edge, but essentially that just means you get to masturbate more! You also get better at learning your body’s cues for when you are about to reach an orgasm.
How to Edge:
- Start stimulating yourself and make sure to tune into your body and pay close attention to the sensations.
- Notice as you start to feel an orgasm building and then when you are close to reaching an orgasm, stop stimulating yourself.
- Take a short break of around 30 seconds, enough to let the orgasm subside but not long enough to lose arousal. Taking some deep breaths can help.
- Start to stimulate yourself again.
- Repeat the process a few times before allowing yourself to reach an orgasm.
Wearing your sex toys during the day
Wearable sex toys, such as butt plugs, vibrator eggs, or kegel balls are perfect for building arousal as you go about your everyday activities. Some people find the sexy secret of being out in public wearing a sex toy can be a massive turn-on! App-controlled sex toys make it even easier to get some discreet vibrating action without anyone ever knowing! The Lovense Lush 3 is fantastic for this. You can even set it to sync to music! If you are curious about how or why you would want to wear a butt plug out and about or even to work, this article has it all!
Multiple orgasms for people with a vulva:
Once you’ve had your first orgasm and a little breather, you want to start touching yourself again. You might find that your clitoris is too sensitive to be touched at this point, so you can stimulate wherever else feels good until you can stimulate your clitoris again. Combining deep breathing with pelvic floor contractions as you orgasm can also help. Sex toys with different settings can also be super helpful. You might need a more or less intense setting after your first orgasm, depending on your body. Believe me, it’s worth the practice!
Multiple orgasms for people with a penis:
Penis owners have what’s called a refractory period after they orgasm, in which they are unable to orgasm again. But that doesn’t make it impossible for them to have multiple orgasms. You will need your first orgasm to happen without ejaculation to avoid the refractory period. One way to do this is to have a prostate orgasm, either through external or internal prostate stimulation. Once you’ve mastered a prostate orgasm, you can follow it up with penile orgasm for some multiple orgasm masturbation.
I hope this masturbation master class inspires you to go forth and embrace the wonders of a little you time. Whether it’s an early morning pick me up, a long lavish evening, or sensual wind down before bed, making the time for masturbation is always worth it! I’d love for you to share your own masturbation tips in the comments box, sharing is definitely caring in this situation.