The 9 Best Discreet Dildos for Super Secret Self-Love

Why You Should Trust Our Reviews of Discreet Dildos
Being an extremely sex-positive website, we’ve had the chance to personally test hundreds of different toys. Naturally, not wanting all of our houseguests to know everything about our sex lives, we’ve come up with ways to hide our toys that keep them out of public eye and low-key. While doing this, we’ve also noticed that some toys are easier to notice than others, which is what inspired us to write this piece on discreet dildos! Balancing the need for the ability to hide in plain sight with our standard expectations for any dildo (great design, easy to use, made of high-quality materials), we’ve gathered the nine great options you’ll see listed below. After all, your private life should be able to stay, well, private!

What Makes a Discreet Dildo?
Unless you own it, you shouldn’t be able to tell that a discreet dildo is a dildo simply from looking at it. Sex toy manufacturers use a small variety of methods to try and hide the toy’s true purpose, but how effective the dildo is at hiding in plain sight really depends on the approach they take for that particular toy. Generally speaking, there are four main things you should consider when purchasing a dildo marketed as discreet.
- Shape – There are some obvious limitations here since the discreet dildo needs to be shaped well enough to fit inside your vagina and/or anus. Still, there’s a big difference between a black, veiny dildo and what appears to be a twirly twisted candy dog toy. The less your new dildo looks like an actual penis, the better!
- Size – Larger objects attract more attention, meaning they’ll have a harder time going unnoticed. If you want something nearly invisible, opt for smaller toys. If small toys aren’t satisfying enough, try to match the size of your toy to the objects that will be placed near it.
- Materials – While simply being made of silicone isn’t enough to instantly label an item as a sex toy, alternative materials (such as stainless steel or glass) can often pass for decorative. You should always opt for body-safe, non-porous materials!
- Non-phallic – It’s fairly obvious, but the design of a discreet dildo shouldn’t be penis-relatable. Fortunately, there are many dildos that could easily pass for a decorative piece, sculpture, smoking accessory, dog toy, or other household items. You can even grab a crystal dildo if you want something that’s truly inconspicuous!
FAQ
What Is A Discreet Dildo?
A discreet dildo is a sex toy that is not too phallic in appearance so it isn't obvious that it is a dildo. It is intended for bodily penetration during masturbation or sex with partners. They are used for vaginal stimulation and those with a flared base can also be used anally. Some discreet dildos are shaped to reach the G-spot and/or P-spot, whereas others are mainly for general use. From the fruit bowl to the tabletop, there’s a discreet dildo made for everywhere you’d ever need to hide a sex toy!
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