How To Use a Strap On

By Melissa Lander / May 11, 2022

If you’re wondering how to get the most out of using a strap on, then you’ve come to the right place! In this guide, we’ll look at everything you need to know, including how to use one, the best ways to use one, the best materials, and some of the best beginner strap ons on the market- we’ll also look at our top tips for making your experience the best it can be!

Top tips for using a strap on

First time use can often feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not used to being a penetrator! So, we’ve compiled some tips to ease you into it (pun intended):

  • Communication- what do yourself and your partner want from the experience? (power play, role-play, dual orgasms etc.)
  • Positions- try different positions to decide what you and your partner like (missionary, doggy, cowgirl, 69 etc.)
  • Type of sex- using a strap on doesn’t always have to center around penetration; try stimulating the clitoris/labia/around the anus with it
  • Incorporate a bullet vibrator- some harnesses have a pocket where a bullet vibrator can be inserted for the wearer’s pleasure; if this spikes your interest, definitely make use of it!
  • Orgasm doesn’t have to be the main goal- we often put pressure on ourselves to orgasm which isn’t fun at all! Remember that the main thing is to have fun, enjoy yourself, and explore yourself and your parnter’s desires
  • Lube, glorious lube- you will need to be thoroughly lubricated to penetrate- trust us, don’t skimp on the lube!

How to use a strap on correctly

A strap on harness secures around the hips and holds a strap on dildo using an O-ring; strap on underwear has an O-ring in the front which a attaches to.

Lets get it on!

  • First things first, attach your strap on dildo to the O-ring in the harness (this is easier than trying to do it while wearing the harness)
  • You can step into your harness as you would step into a thong or a pair of underwear
  • If your harness is too tight as it hasn’t been adjusted, loosen the straps and pull the harness over your bum and hips
  • Once the harness is resting on your hips loosely, you can adjust it to fit comfortably but securely
  • Your harness should fit like a tight fitting pair of jeans, and secure your strap on dildo without a sag

How does it feel?

Before using your strap on and harness during sex, you should wear it around the house to make sure it is comfortable; does it fall down or sag? If so, the harness is too loose or the strap on dildo is too heavy. This can be easily remedied by tightening the straps of your harness.

You look great!

Lots of people feel self-concious when wearing a strap on for the first time and this is completely normal! If you’re excited to wear and use a strap on, then you should embrace how you look whilst wearing it. Try wearing the strap on alone and looking at yourself in the mirror wearing it.

Lube, lube, and more lube

Whatever you’re using your strap on for, take it slow at first and use plenty of water-based lube; this will ease insertion and removal and increase the pleasure of the receiver!

How to use a strapless strap on

The strapless strap on includes a shorter end which is held inside the vagina, while the longer shaft penetrates. Using one of these pleasurable, but tricky toys, is a learning curve! Check out our dedicated guide on how to use a strapless strap on for a more in-depth look.

Size

As a wearer, one end will be inserted into your vagina and so you will need to be comfortable and able to hold it inside of you during sex.

Do kegels

You’ll need to have strong vaginal walls to hold one of these beauties inside of you during sex; strengthening the vaginal wall muscles with kegels can also intensify orgasms- its a win-win!

Be patient

Don’t be discouraged because you couldn’t use the it the first time! It can take time to strengthen the vaginal walls and to get into the groove of using a this type of toy!

Use a harness

Thats right! If you’re keen on the design of the strapless strap on, lots of harness O-rings are compatible to fit these toys as they have openings for them to go through.

How to use a hollow strap on

A hollow strap on has hollow base that allows a penis to sit inside of it- they’re great for adding length or for those with erectile problems.

Lube it up!

This is a really important part of wearing a hollow dildo as your penis is going inside of it; ensure your penis and the canal of the toy is sufficiently lubed up for comfort and ease.

Putting it on

Wearing a hollow strap on is a lot like wearing a regular one, however the wearer’s penis is going inside. Put your harness on loosely, and whether erect or not, you can put your penis into the hollow center. Adjust the harness to comfortably and securely fit around your hips and bum. Now you can go for as long as you please!

The best starter strap ons (tried and tested!)

Beginner harness

A good beginner strap on harness kit will have everything you need to start your journey; the Tracey Cox Supersex Strap-on Kit includes two different sized and textured shafts, a bullet vibrator and an adjustable harness.

Beginner hollow strap on

Though they might sound a little complicated, the Doc Johnson Silicone Hollow Strap-on Kit has everything you need and more, to ensure your experience is as smooth as ever.

Beginner strapless strap on

Learning curve included, The Union by WetForHer is great for beginners and includes a bullet vibrator for optional vibrations.

Beginner underwear

Strap on underwear is super easy to use, whether using with a dildo or as a packer. The Packer Gear Boxer Brief by Hustler Hollywood is perfect for beginners and a range of packers and strap ons alike.

What is a strap on?

A strap on dildo attaches to a harness or strap on underwear. This is used to penetrate another person’s vagina, anus, or mouth. They come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, textures, and aesthetics which is what makes them great, versatile sex toys.

Starter strap ons are perfect for beginners as they are especially designed for delving into the world of strap on sex!

Why do people use them?

There are a number of reasons why people choose to incorporate these sex toys into their sex lives- and all reasons are valid! Some of the most common reasons are:

  • vagina/vagina relationships
  • dysphoria/packers
  • power play
  • pegging
  • erectile dysfunction
  • double penetration

Best materials

The best material for any sex toy is usually silicone as it is body-safe and can vary in levels of flexibility, however this doesn’t suit everyone as some people prefer soft materials for realism while some desire rigidity for pin-point pleasure; of course, the ideal material for any sex toy will be body-safe, however not all materials are:

  • Silicone- flexible/rigid depending on type of silicone, body-safe, non-porous, clean with ease, use with water-based lube (not silicone-based lube).
  • PVC- flexible, not body-safe, porous, can be difficult to clean, can be used with any lube.
  • TPE- flexible (mainly used for realism due to texture), not body-safe, porous, difficult to clean and maintain, can be used with any lube.
  • Jelly- very flexible, not body-safe, porous, difficult to clean and maintain, any lube is suitable.
  • Glass- completely rigid, body-safe, non-porous, easy to clean and maintain, can be used with an lube, great for temperature play.
  • Metal- completely rigid, body-safe, non-porous, easy to clean, any lube is suitable, great for temperature play.
  • Wood- rigid, not body-safe, porous, difficult to clean and maintain, any lube is suitable.