How do I choose my first sex toy?

How Do I Choose My First Sex Toy? The Best Tips for Finding Your First Sex Toy!

If you’re asking yourself, “How do I choose my first sex toy?” you’ve come to the right place! With seemingly millions of different sex toys out there, how do you possibly begin to sort them out and choose your first sex toy? Well, I am here to help you decide with this little guide. It includes the best first sex toys for every body and body part!

So, stop searching through thousands of sex toys online and read on to learn how to choose your first sex toy, what questions to ask and suggestions for sex toys that fulfill your every sexual desire.

So Many Sex Toys, How Do I Choose My First?

I’ve been asked, “How do I choose my first sex toy?” hundreds of times. And with each question, I always answer with a question. You see, choosing your first sex toy depends a great deal on what type of stimulation you’re looking for. Additionally, you need to decide which body part you want to stimulate.

Plus, people asking me, “How do I choose my first sex toy?” aren’t always young, 20-somethings. On the contrary, people of all ages are searching for their first sex toy either because they have never used one before or are searching for a way to spice up a long-time relationship or marriage.

This also reminds me of the older people I have counseled who had lost their life partners and were missing the sexual aspect of their relationship. Yes, it’s a heartbreaking scenario. But it puts into perspective how many types of people are looking for their first sex toy.

Questions to Ask Yourself to Choose Your First Sex Toy

How do I choose my first sex toy? Question marks

How do I choose my first sex toy? Rather than searching through thousands of web pages and sex toys, asking yourself, “What in the heck is that, where do I put it and what does it do?”, start by answering some simple questions.

As a result, I will be able to guide you to your first sex toy without all of the wasted time, grief and confusion. After all, the last thing I want to see is someone giving up on their first sex toy out of frustration.

Everyone deserves to be fulfilled sexually!

What Genitals Do You Have?

How do I choose my first sex toy? what genitals do you have?

How do I choose my first sex toy? Well, what genitals do you have? And how you answer reveals the types of toys you are searching for. For instance, if you have a vulva, you’d most likely want a clitoral stimulator or penetrative product as your first sex toy. However, if you just received your vulva, you may be searching for something different.

So, how do you choose your first sex toy? By using your gender or the genital you wish to pleasure. Once you’ve answered that question, you can move on to the answers below, that fit your desires.

How Do You Masturbate?

You ask, “How do I choose my first sex toy?” and I also answer with, “How do you masturbate?”

I know, you’re probably thinking it’s a stupid question and shouting at your screen that you (fill in the blank) touch it, rub it, stroke it. But there’s much more to masturbation than that! For instance, some vulva owners like tapping, some like penetration. Some people may have mobility issues, thus needing a hands-free sex toy.

Plus, how you masturbate also includes where you masturbate. Some people do it in the shower or bath, some do it in bed and still others may have to hide away in a closet as not to disturb kids or a roommate. So, in conclusion, I may guide you to sex toys that do the things you love but are waterproof, quiet or have a remote-control.

What Kind of Pleasure Do You Want?

How to choose your first sex toy.

Next, in deciding how to choose your first sex toy, I ask, “What kind of pleasure do you want?”

Isn’t all sexual pleasure the same? Nope!

There is the touching pleasure, oral pleasure, penetrative pleasure and a combination of all of them. Furthermore, for penis owners, do you like to penetrate vaginas or bottoms? Or, are you craving your first anal experience? You see, sexual pleasure is a plethora of sensations from looking deep into someone’s eyes to having someone suck your big toe.

And everything in between.

So, to choose your first sex toy, think about the pleasures you desire, make a note of it and continue on to the next question.

How Discreet Must You Be?

How do I choose my first sex toy? Again, I answer with yet another question!

Are you getting annoyed with me yet? (That’s not the sex toy question) but I promise, the end result will give you answers and the confidence to choose your first sex toy today, click, buy, and wait with delightful anticipation!

So, how discreet must you be with a sex toy? Do you need something small, discreet and easy to hide from parents, kids or roommates? If so, you’ll want to choose your first sex toy with the following features:

  • Small in size
  • Easy to hide or a sex toy that includes a storage bag
  • Something with a travel lock so tiny hands can’t active the toy
  • A sex toy that’s quiet, as not to wake or disturb others in your household
  • A toy that ships discreetly


How Much Do You Have to Spend?

How to choose your first sex toy

How you choose your first sex toy relies heavily on how much money you have to spend. Rest assured, there are sex toys out there for every budget. But keep in mind, when it comes to sex toys, something that is in contact with your genitals, you want something comfortable, safe, reliable and something that lasts for more than a few uses.

By and large, the vast majority of sex toys are made from safe materials. However, there are a lot of copy-cat sex toys out there that look like the more expensive sex toys but are made with dangerous materials that leech chemicals that can harm you, and are created with shoddy workmanship, so it may not even work!

Therefore, shop only reputable retailers that specialize in sex toys, and look for products that do what you want, give you the sensations you desire and are within your budget.

Remember too, sex toys are an investment in your sexual health and happiness. So, if you’ll spend $100 or more on a pair of shoes, a handbag or a tool, you should invest just as much in a sex toy that touches your most intimate areas. Trust me, you will not regret spending a little bit more when you choose your first sex toy.

Are You Looking for Your First Couple’s Toy?

How do I choose my first sex toy? Couples' sex toys

“How do I choose my first sex toy?” may be your question but are you looking for a sex toy that you can use with a partner?

So many people have owned sex toys for a majority of their adult life. However, when you are choosing your first sex toy as part of a couple, you’ll likely need to seek a sex toy that can be used on both bodies or during intercourse.

Believe it or not, the sex toys you already own probably can be used in a couple situation. But, if you’re looking for something new and exciting to spice things up, a couple-specific sex toy is likely what you’ll want to choose. Therefore, you’ll want to answer the same questions above but apply them to what you and your partner want.

This is How to Choose Your First Sex Toy

How to choose your first sex toy

How do I choose my first sex toy online? Here are step-by-step instructions for choosing your first sex toy while shipping online.

  • First, choose an online sex toy retailer that you trust. For example, retailers like Lovehoney and Adam and Eve both have discreet shipping and packaging while carrying a fantastic selection of sex toys for every need and desire.
  • You can also go to sex toy specific sites. For example, if you’re looking for a masturbator, go to, or if you’re searching for great anal toys, sites like B-Vibe have the largest selection as well as guides, manuals and kits to teach you the basics of anal play.
  • Next, go to the navigation area on the site you choose. Hover and choose from the category you are looking for, like sex toys for men, women and couples or by the type of sex toy you’re seeking like vibrators, clitoral stimulators or strokers.
  • Always use the sort bar on the left to narrow down your search results by price, materials, brand names and other product features.
  • Another tip to choose your first sex toy is by using the search terms “slim” and “beginner” to help you find a sex toy that’s the right size and has easy-to-use features.
  • Once you have chosen your first sex toy, don’t forget to put some important accessories in your cart as you’ll need them. Those items include lubricant, sex toy cleansers, sex toy storage, and batteries, if necessary.

How Do I Choose My First Sex Toy Shopping In-Person?

Not everyone shops for merchandise online. Instead, they would rather be able to touch and feel what they’re buying, and take it home with them right then. Therefore, if you prefer to choose your first sex toy in person, here are the tips you need to know:

  • Choose a sex toy shop near you either by finding the highest rated sex toy shops in your state, or by using an online search engine and reading reviews.
  • Don’t be embarrassed! People who work in sex toy shops are there because they want to help people choose their first sex toy or their 100th! Plus, they likely won’t remember you or what you purchased 5 minutes after you’ve left the store.
  • Ask for help. People who work in sex toy shops have a wealth of knowledge, especially when it comes to choosing your first sex toy. Plus, they are highly knowledgeable when it comes to brands, materials and workmanship.
  • Read the packaging! Sex toy packages can serve as a guide on how the sex toy is used, whether or not it’s rechargeable or waterproof, and if it requires batteries. If the package doesn’t have the information you need, again, turn to your salesperson to answer your questions.
  • Don’t leave without accessories. Sex toy shops also carry everything you need for your first sex toy. Things like lubricant, batteries, storage bags and cases, and sex toys cleansers are all important things to pick up.

My Suggestions for Your First Sex Toy

In case you are still overwhelmed by the sheer number of sex toys available, here are some of my suggestions for your first sex toy choice. I’ve included sex toys for penises, vaginas and for both!

Want Vaginal Stimulation and G-Spot Orgasms?

If your first sex toy desire is to have vaginal stimulation and penetration, the following beginner sex toys should get you off (pun intended) on the right foot.

Your First Dildo

How to choose your first sex toy? Your first dildo.

For your first sex toy that penetrates, the Lovehoney Silicone 7 Function Slim Realistic Dildo Vibrator is perfect. This vibrating dildo starts slim at the top and gets wider toward the base, making it perfect for those experiencing penetration for the first time or for vulva owners who haven’t had penetration in a while.

This dildo is created with body-safe materials, has a realistic look and touts 7 levels of vibration. Plus, it’s not only waterproof, it’s submersible, so you can sneak away and use it in the bath. It’s not small or discreet, so you’ll want to find a clever spot to hide it. However, it does come from Lovehoney, a super discreet company.

A First G-Spot Vibrator

How do I choose my first sex toy? First g-spot sex toy

If your first sex toy choice is a g-spot vibrator, then the Lovehoney G-Slim G-Spot Vibrator is ideal. It’s made from solid plastic, which helps the vibrations feel more powerful, something needed to achieve a g-spot orgasm. This vibrator has an ultra slim shaft with a bulbous head to give you a more targeted stimulation

It’s easy to operate, features multiple speeds and comes in your choice of 3 colors.

Plastic vibrators tend to be a bit more noisy, so be aware of that if discretion is at the top of your list. It’s not too big, so should be easy to hide in your nightstand or a drawer. Plus, it comes from Lovehoney, a company known for its discreet packaging and shipping policies.

The Best First Combination Vibrator

How do I choose my first sex toy? First multi-function vibrator

The combination vibrator, or multi-function vibrator, combines penetration and g-spot and external clitoral stimulation. That way, you get the best of both worlds when you choose this is your first sex toy. The Happy Rabbit Rechargeable Mini Rabbit Vibrator is orgasmic perfection in a small, more discreet package!

Made from body-safe, smooth silicone, this small vibrator features 3 speeds and 9 patterns of vibrations so you can enjoy g-spot thrills while the bunny ears surround your clitoris in amazing sensations. Plus, this happy little guy is waterproof, rechargeable and easier to hide or take along with you for a weekend away. Also, it’s another Lovehoney product, so rest-assured, it’s safe to order!


Looking for External Clitoral Stimulation?

How do I choose my first sex toy if I’ve never had sex? A great question and a great place to start when it comes to your sexual health, well-being and confidence! Learning to orgasm on your own is the best way to ensure a happy sex life later because you know what you need to get off and can pass that along to partners down the road.

However, if you have sexual experience but have never owned a sex toy, a clitoral stimulator still makes an ideal first sex toy. Not only can you use a clitoral stimulator for solo pleasure, your partner can use it on you, or you can hold it in place or snuggle it between your bodies during intercourse. So, if your first sex toy choice is a clitoral stimulator, I have some great products for you!

Start With a Bullet

How to choose your first sex toy, first clitoral stimulator

So, the perfect first sex toy, as I said, would be a clitoral stimulator, and the 20 Function Silicone Rocket Vibrator is ideal! This small but mighty vibrator is quiet, small, discreet and easy to hide. Best yet, it packs a huge sensual punch with 20 levels of vibration and patterns. Soft, silky silicone pampers your intimate parts and it can be used later, with a partner.

Your First Air Pulse Clitoral Stimulator

How to choose your first sex toy, first clitoral sucker

How lucky are you to be buying your first sex toy now, while air-pulse technology is the latest and greatest in clitoral stimulation?! Air-pulse clitoral stimulators best mimic the feeling or oral sex, yet you have all of the control. Little puffs of air thrum against your clitoris, creating a feeling like no other; a soft, suction combined with light thumping and gentle vibration!

My suggestion for your first sex toy is the Satisfyer Pro 3 Plus. This clitoral stimulator has a staggering 11 air-pulse settings with a flexible, silky-soft, silicone mouth that creates a wonderful seal around the clitoris glans. In addition, this sex toy features 10 vibration settings too so you can combine the stimulation, or use each one independently.

The Satisfyer Pro 3 Plus has a sleek and sexy look, is rechargeable, waterproof and sized to be discreet and great for travel. But the best feature of this toy is that it is whisper quiet! Plus, coming from Adam & Eve, your transaction is safe and your packaging is 100% discreet. I own this sex toy and absolutely love it. Read my review or watch my full video review to see for yourself.

Want to Explore the Back Door?

Maybe you’re not choosing your first sex toy. Rather, you might be wanting your first anal sex toy! If that’s the case, I still have you covered. Anal sex toys are just as popular as any other genre. However, when you’re looking for your first sex toy for your bum, it’s extremely important to get the right size, shape and education.

Your First Anal Sex Toy

How do I choose my first sex toy? First anal sex toy

When it comes to anal penetration, your first sex toy shouldn’t be a full-on anal dildo. On the contrary, you should start small and work your way up. That’s why I highly recommend the B-Vibe Anal Training and Education Set. Not only do you get 3 graduated anal plugs, but you get the proper accessories and education on anal penetration. It’s the perfect first sex toy!

This anal sex toy set includes 3, top-quality, silicone butt plugs, one of which vibrates. Plus, the set includes an anal irrigator, lubricant syringe and a fantastic manual that teaches you everything you need to know about anal play, from preparation to clean-up. And it all comes with a lovely and discreet zipper storage bag. Plus, B-Vibe is one of those amazing sex-positive companies you can trust.

Looking for Vagina-Like Penis Stimulation?

How do I choose my first sex toy if I want it to feel like real sex with a vagina? Penis owners, pay attention! There are products for you that mimic real intercourse and make the perfect first sex toy. So, whether you are a virgin or simply a sex toy newbie, these strokers make the perfect sex toy for a beginner.

Your First Stroker

How do I choose my first sex toy? First masturbator

If you want the best, most realistic feeling stroker as your first sex toy, go for the best-selling, men’s sex toy in the world; the Fleshlight. The Fleshlight Go Surge Realistic Vagina Masturbator combines real-feel, skin-like materials and internal texture that feels like the real thing. It comes in a discreet case that resembles an old-school flashlight and has a cap to keep your stroker clean and out of sight.

Plus, a smaller, bottom cap twists to allow you to adjust the suction you feel while using your stroker, and the sleeve comes out for easy washing and drying. The best thing about Fleshlight products, however, is the ability to buy other sleeves to place in your Fleshlight case. That way, you can enjoy different textures and sensations!

But, if you happen to be on a budget, you can easily create your own first sex toy by making any of these DIY pocket pussies or Fleshlights! I have a video that features all of the strokers you can make. Then, come back to our blog for step-by-step instructions to make your own DIY first sex toy.

Prefer the Tightness of a Butt?

How to choose your first sex toy, your first butt masturbator

Not every penis-owner is interested in vaginas, some of you prefer the feeling of a nice, tight rear! So, if your first sex toy choice is a bottom stroker, may I suggest the Thrust Pro Ultra Coco Ribbed and Dotted Ass Cup? Another realistic feeling material and a super-tight, textured interior makes the perfect first sex toy.

It comes in a discreet, outer case with a dust cap and features suction change abilities. Plus, just saying “ass cup” is funny.

Your First Stroker Pad

How do I choose my first sex toy? Masturbation pad

If your ideal first sex toy stroker isn’t a full-on vagina or bottom, you can get all of the stroking fun and texture with a stroker pad. The Screaming O Jack-Its Stroker Pad features a heavily-ribbed texture and material that clings yet feels amazing wrapped around your penis. Plus, it’s big enough to cover the thickest penis and is small and discreet enough to hide in any drawer.

The best part of the Jack-Its Stroker pad is that it under $10! And you can use it alone or with a partner.

Clingy, soft, textured, body-safe TPE adds crazy sensations when you masturbate, Plus, it’s waterproof, more discreet and easier to hide and much easier to clean.

Wanting to Milk Your Prostate?

How do I choose my first sex toy when it’s not actually my first? Okay, I get it! Although you have experimented with sex toys in the past, some of you are looking to experience something new and exciting, maybe like prostate milking. There are products galore to help you achieve your first prostate orgasm and I have the perfect first sex toy suggestion for you!

The Perfect First Remote-Control Prostate Stimulator

How do I choose my first sex toy? First prostate stimulator

The ideal first sex toy for prostate stimulation is one that features a remote control. I mean, how the heck can you get relaxed and comfortable by messing with controls on the sex toy?

Unless you are a Cirque DeSoliel performer, I suggest the Mantric Rechargeable Remote-Control Prostate Vibrator for a comfortable, hands-free masturbation experience.

This smooth, silicone prostate toy is shaped to reach your p-spot with a bulbous head for strong, targeted stimulation. In addition, it features a curved, textured, outer vibrator to stimulate your perineum at the same time. Use the remote control to move through the 7 modes of vibration while staying in the perfect position, whether that’s in bed or in the shower.

It’s the perfect first sex toy for prostate orgasms, it’s body-safe, non-porous and easy to clean and store.

Desire the Perfect Couple’s Sex Toy?

How do I choose my first sex toy to share with a partner? So, you’ve already owned vibrators, strokers or other sex toys but are searching for the first sex toy to use with a partner. I have some sex toys for that! No matter if you’re a heterosexual couple, gay couple or non-binary, I have the ideal first sex toy to spice up your bedroom play!

Your First Finger Vibrator

How to choose your first sex toy, first finger vibrator

A finger vibrator makes the perfect first sex toy for couples of all types! Your can use it for massage as well as targeted stimulation on the clitoris, nipples, outer anus, vagina and perineum. I suggest the Lovehoney Ignite 20-Function Finger Vibrator. With 20 fantastic levels of vibration and patterns, this body-safe silicone toy is small, stretches to fit any finger and features a USB charger.

But the best part of this small and powerful vibrator is that it’s extremely discreet because of the integrated travel lock and drawstring, storage bag. Plus, it’s a Lovehoney product so you’re ensured a safe and discreet transaction.

The Best First Cock Ring

How to choose your first sex toy, first cock ring

For couples that have at least one penis-owner in the mix, a cock ring makes the perfect first sex toy. Cock rings fit around the base of the penis and allow for stronger, firmer erections that last longer; as cock rings decrease the back-flow of erectile blood. Therefore, not only will the penis-owner last longer, they will experience increased sensitivity and climaxes that will blow the roof off the house!

My suggestion for a first cock ring would be the Lovehoney Ignite 20-Function Vibrating Love Ring. This cock ring features a vibrator that sends incredible sensation throughout the penis, turning it into a vibrator. Plus, the surface of the vibrator touches the receiver with every stroke. Therefore, if you share it with a vulva-owner, they get thrilling clitoral stimulation too.

Additionally, the Ignite is stretchy and comfortable, is rechargeable for marathon sessions, and features a travel lock and storage bag.

But don’t forget the bullet as a first sex toy for couples! They’re great for everything from massage to clitoral and perineum stimulation. Plus, they’re perfect for nuzzling between two hot bodies during foreplay and sex.

It’s Time to Choose Your First Sex Toy!

How do I choose my first sex toy? That’s the question to which you should now have all of your answers! We’ve covered how to shop for your first sex toy in person and online as well as covering some fun and affordable suggestions for sex toys for all bodies. So, it’s time to take your sexual satisfaction to the next level and go shopping for your first sex toy!



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