How to Use Sexual Restraints — Bondage for Beginners

Today we’re putting the B in BDSM! That’s right we are diving into the world of bondage with a guide on how to use different sexual restraints for some thrilling partner play!

We’ll cover how to use:

How to Use Handcuffs

For many people, handcuffs are the first taste of bondage, and they are a staple of any BDSM toolkit. They come in many different materials, from beginner-friendly silicone cuffs to advanced level, lockable leather.

Bondage cuffs allow you to lock up your partner’s hands, restricting their movement and putting you in complete control of their pleasure. Here are some easy restraint positions and ideas to get you started.

Arms behind the back

One of the simplest ways to use handcuffs is to secure your partner’s hands behind their back in either a sitting, standing, or kneeling position. This gives you great access to the front of their body and limits their movement.

The kneeling position is amazing for giving your partner some oral pleasure or moving into doggy style with your arms bound.

Arms above the head

If you have an attachment point, you can clip the cuffs above your partner’s head while they are standing.

This gives you full access to tease the whole front of their body, making it a great position for using all sorts of BDSM toys! If you prefer anal play, simply have them face the other way!

If you don’t have anywhere to attach them, over the door restraints are a cheap and convenient alternative.

Tied to the chair (or any furniture)

Hand and wrist cuffs can also be used to tie your partner to some furniture, completely limiting their movement!

If you love giving a sexy strip tease, tie your partner to the chair first to impose a strict ‘you can look but you can’t touch’ policy!

If the sitting partner has a penis or strap-on dildo, you can also climb on top of their lap for some bound chair sex!

Wrists to collar

If you have a bondage collar with D-rings, you chain your partner’s wrist to their collar, limiting their movement.

Whether you are sitting, standing, or lying on your back, this is an amazing position for all sorts of power play as it puts the Dom in complete control of their partner’s pleasure.

If you love nipple stimulation, you can add in some nipple clamps for some pinchy pleasure!

Wrists to ankle

This is a more intense handcuff position and needs a set of ankle restraints as well.

  1. Put on both sets of restraints.
  2. Kneel down and reach your hands back between your knees.
  3. Have your partner attach each wrist to each ankle.

Once in position, your butt will be up in the air, giving your partner full access to stimulate you from behind – rimming, anal beads, vibrating anal toys, penetrative play – anything that takes your fancy!

Best handcuffs from beginners to advanced

How to Make Sexual Restraints with Bondage Rope

Bondage rope can seem a little intimidating at first but you don’t have to be a knot expert to use it!

Rope is very versatile, as you can use to create any type of restraint you desire, from simply using it to tie your partner down to more intricate shibari bondage.

Make cuffs with bondage rope

A double column tie is a quick and easy way to restrain your partner’s wrists or ankles with bondage rope. It doesn’t require any fancy knots, making it ideal for bondage beginners!

Check out this great video for instructions on how to try it yourself!

More advanced bondage rope restraints

As you get more confident using bondage rope for sexual restraint, you can explore more complex forms and knots to create body harnesses or even try suspension bondage.

  • Breast bondage — make your breasts the star of the show and let you partner lavish them attention with a bondage rope chest harness!
  • Shibari rope can be used to make all kinds of intricate and beautiful restraints that both limit movement and create an incredible look!

How to Use Under Bed Restraints

Under bed restraints are amazing for full body bondage. The spread eagle position gives you full access to tease your partner’s whole body while they are tied to the bed.

How to Set Up Under Bed Restraints

  1. Place the middle strap under the middle of your mattress. Adjust the length as necessary.
  2. Pull the restraints out at the four corners.
  3. For a spread eagle position have the restraints coming out of the side of the bed. For arms above the head, position them at the top and bottom of the bed.
  4. Get your partner in position with the restraints on their wrists and ankles and tighten the four side straps so they are tight to the bed.

Ways to Use Under Bed Restraints

Now you know how to use these sexual restraints, it’s time to have some fun! The imagination really is the limit with these restraints! Here are some of my favorite ways to use them:

  • Oral sex — Choose between riding your partner’s face while they are tied up or letting them lie back while you work your magic!
  • Sensation play — Sensation play is a great way to explore your partner’s whole body and search out their most sensitive spots! Think feather ticklers, pinwheels, floggers, whips, or whatever tickles your fancy!
  • Temperature play & Wax Play — Ignite your partner’s senses with some temperature play by popping a glass wand or metal dildo in some cool or warm water or thrill them with some hot wax play!
  • Orgasm denial, forced orgasms, and edging — full body bondage is perfect for exploring all kinds of orgasm power play. Magic wands are amazing for exploring forced orgasms as they are super powerful and easy to use on a partner! My all time favorite is the absolute powerhouse — the Doxy Die Cast.

How to Use Wrist to Thigh Restraints

This position leaves your partner’s genital area wide open for all kinds fun!

  1. Have the partner being restrained lie on their back.
  2. Fasten the cuffs snugly around your partner’s wrists and thighs.
  3. Attach them to each other using clips or carabiners.
  4. They can either let their knees fall out to the side or bring their legs up in a V shape.
  5. Tease them with a vibrator or pop a sex pillow, like the Liberator Jaz, under their hips to for some deep penetrative sex.

How to Use Hogtie Restraints

Hogties restraints can be physically and psychologically demanding so are best suited to those with a bit of bondage experience under their belt! Your movement is severely limited and the position can be pretty hard to hold, so you might want to try this for a short amount of time to begin with.

How to hogtie your partner on their knees

This position is going to be easier for most people as it requires less flexibility and you aren’t face down.

In a kneeling position attach the hogtie to your partners ankles and wrists. Tighten as necessary.

This position is great for playing with your favorite spanking toys or giving a blow job.

How to do the classic hogtie

This classic hogtie position is more intense and might not be accessible for everyone. The longer the connectors between the restraints, the easier this will be.

You can use a hogtie set with wrist and ankle cuffs, a pre-made rope hogtie, or make your own using bondage rope.

How to Use Sexual Restraints Safely

  1. Establish clear boundaries about what type of play is ok and off limits while bound, and choose a safeword that will stop play immediately.
  2. Always have some safety shears on hand to cut your partner out of the restraints in an emergency.
  3. Never fasten restraints too tightly as they can interfere with blood flow. You should be able to fit two fingers between the restraint and their body.
  4. Start with a short amount of time and less intense forms of restraint.
  5. Start with less intense stimulation while restrained and work up to more intensity as desired.
  6. Check in with your partner throughout to make sure they are ok. You can use the traffic light system to gauge how they are doing. Green is great, yellow is proceed with caution/reaching a limit, and red means stop!

Tips for Talking to Your Partner About Using Sexual Restraints

It can be tricky to broach the topic of introducing bondage into your sex life, especially if you and your partner don’t talk a lot about sex. Here are some ways to make it a little easier and introduce the topic softly.

  • Do some research beforehand and come with some information you can show them, like this post for example.
  • Choose a time when you are both feeling relaxed and comfortable.
  • You can mention how much you love your sex life and want to explore more together. Try to make it a collaborative adventure.
  • You can say that you think it would be super sexy to try out some beginners bondage, like a pair of handcuffs.
  • Reassure that them that it’s ok if you don’t know how to do it at first and that it would be fun to learn together.
  • Give your partner time to think about it and respect their answers.
  • Ask them if there’s anything they are interested in trying.