Turn Up the Heat: 20 New Things to Try in Bed
By Isabelle Uren / August 17, 2021
We are creatures of habit, and our sex lives are no different. Don’t get me wrong, getting to the point where you and your partner know exactly what moves will leave you weak at the knees and ready for a post-sex nap is great, but we all crave a little excitement every now and then.
If you find it difficult to tell your partner what you’d like to try, you can try reading this list together and each writing down which numbers you’d like to try. You can turn it into a sexy guessing game by trying to guess each other’s selection.
Once you’ve got your combined selection, the only thing left to do is choose where to start!
1. Masturbate in Front of Your Partner
Put on a sexy show for your partner to really get them turned on and desperate to join in the fun. You can take things further by instating a touching ban or even tying them to a chair while they watch you. Not only will this drive your partner wild but it will show them exactly where and how you love to be touched. Add in some sex toys for even more excitement for you both.
2. Excite Your Senses
Think of ways to excite your senses. Experiment with soft or colored lighting and fill the air with sensual scents using candles or an air diffuser. Props such as feather ticklers, floggers, or paddles are popular in BDSM play, but they don’t always have to be used to cause pain, although a little of that can be fun too! Start with soft, gentle sensations all over your partner’s body to awaken their senses and get them craving more. Adding in a blindfold can intensify the sensory experience, allowing you to focus on your other senses.
3. Experiment With Power Play
Have you ever wanted to dominate your partner or be dominated? Power play requires a lot of trust in a partner and can, in return, enhance trust and intimacy. It also gives both of you a safe space to explore other sides of yourselves. Be sure to talk about what you both feel comfortable within advance.
4. Enjoy a Sensual Massage
Break out the massage oil and warm up with a slow sensual massage. Treat your partner’s body to a top-to-toe rub down, allowing your hands to explore every part of their body. Be sure not to rush to the finish line and spend time working on each part of your partner’s body to help them fully relax and build anticipation.
- If you plan to use the oil in intimate areas, make sure the is safe for intimate use or switch to lube,
- Many oils and some gels are not compatible with latex condoms.
5. Try Edging
Of course, orgasms feel amazing, but we often focus on reaching an orgasm rather than savoring all of the other delicious sensations involved in sex. Edging involves stopping stimulation just before you reach orgasm, giving you more time to enjoy all of the pre-orgasm sensations. Some people also find this makes their orgasms more intense. Doing this with a partner can help you learn to read your partner’s body language and know exactly when they’re approaching the big O.
6. Explore Threesome or Group Sex Fantasies
This doesn’t necessarily mean going out and finding another person into the bedroom straight away unless you are both up for that. You can start by fantasizing with your partner about what you’d like to do and who you’d like to do it with. If you decide that bringing another person into the bedroom isn’t for you, you can experiment with sex toys to simulate a threesome. A realistic masturbator torso is a great option.
7. Slow Sensual Sex
Try slowing everything down and seeing how long you can make it last. Try gazing into your partner’s eyes and taking long, slow synchronized breaths to create a strong sense of connection. Then moving onto foreplay, make each touch last with long, slow strokes, licks, and kisses. Try to keep this going as long as you can before you give in and get carried away.
8. Write Erotic Stories for Each Other
Writing an erotic story for your partner can be a great way to let them into your fantasies without having to say them out loud. You could write about something completely fictional that will only ever be a reality on paper. Maybe there’s a place you’ve always wanted to have sex or something you’ve dreamed of doing together. Let your imagination do the talking and take your partner on a sexy adventure. You can even send them your writing piece by piece throughout the day, leaving them on edge, needing to know what comes next.
9. Experiment With Temperature Play
Turn up the heat or give your partner tingles with temperature play. Ice and massage candles are a perfect place to start. Alternating between warm and cold can enhance the excitative effect. Glass and stainless steel dildos can also be heated or cooled to take things to the next level and enjoy internal temperature play.
10. Treat Yourselves to Some New Sex Toys
Start by shopping for sex toys together. Just looking at all the exciting options and talking about how you can use them together will get the excitement rolling, and you’ll both be watching the post with anticipation. Lovehoney.com and Adameve.com have an incredible range of sex toys to choose from. Plus check out our coupon code to get 10% off at Lovehoney.com
Here are some great instructions for how to use a vibrator on a person with a vulva or on a person with a penis.
11. Explore Anal Stimulation
Anyone can enjoy anal stimulation, and it doesn’t have to involve anal penetration. If you are new to anal play, use a finger or a sex toy to massage the anus and perineum, both of which are dense with sensitive nerve endings. If you enjoy this sensation and are comfortable with it, you can also try rimming, also known as analingus. If you want to explore anal penetration, start with something small like a finder or butt plug and you work your way up to a penis or dildo. If you have a prostate, you might even experience a prostate orgasm! Anal training kits are a great way to explore different sizes and sensations to find out what works best for you. Take a look at this review of the best anal training kits to help you get started.
12. Try a Remote Control Vibrator
A remote control vibrator is perfect for giving your partner full control over your pleasure. You can also start the fun before you get home if you are brave enough to wear it out in public. A restaurant on date night is the perfect place to try it out. The thrill of having to hide your sexy secret will certainly add to the excitement of the night. These panty vibrators are sure to add a buzz to your night out and have you eager to get home.
13. Keep Your Clothes on for a Quickie
While slow and sensual can be great, sometimes a passionate quickie really hits the spot. Try leaving your clothes on – hitch your dress up, undo your trousers, pull down your pantaloons, whatever it is you are wearing, and get lost in the moment. This is the perfect excuse to be a few minutes late to that event you just got dressed up for, and the post-sex glow will finish off your look!
14. Have Sex Somewhere Public
Get your pulses racing with excitement by having sex in a public place. Now, of course, I’m not suggesting the town square or the local supermarket, but somewhere just out of sight, like a forest, in your car, or a quiet rooftop garden. You can even enjoy the thrill from your own home if you’ve got a garden or balcony — just find a hidden spot or wait until it’s dark.
15. Try Out Bondage
Bondage can be a great way to play with the power dynamics in a relationship. The bound person sacrifices control to their partner, showing complete trust, and their partner can choose how to tease and pleasure them. Silk ties or bondage tape are a great introduction to bondage. They are perfect for tying your partner’s wrist together or even tying them to the bed. If you enjoy restraint play, you can take things up a notch with some under-bed sex restraints or door restraints (or even a door sex swing).
16. Focus On One Person’s Pleasure
Focus solely on one person’s pleasure, allowing them to really enjoy each small sensation. Lavish your partner in your attention and use your hands, mouth, and sex toys to explore a range of sensations and get to know what your partner really enjoys. Next time, swap places. The anticipation of knowing you’re up next will leave you feeling excited for your turn!
17.Give Your Partner a Sexy Wake-Up
A sexy wake-up is a common fantasy, but it’s important to discuss this with your partner beforehand. Be sure to get your partner’s consent and figure out boundaries, such as how they want to be touched and when. This is perfect for a slow Sunday morning. What better way to wake up! Bonus points for coffee in bed after!
18. Play a sexy game
Sexy games are a great way to get out of the same routines. Leave it up the sexy dice to decide how you should touch and tease your partner or build some sexual tension with a lust-filled board game.
19. Try out some sex furniture
A sex pillow or wedge can be a great way to add some support in more physically demanding positions or getting a new angle on some classic positions. You can even buy sex toy mounts with pockets to hold your favorite dildo or vibrator, leaving your hands free to pleasure yourself or your partner. The fun doesn’t stop there, you can also try a sex chair to take your oral sex to a whole new level or hook a sex swing over your bedroom door for some high-flying fun. Sex furniture opens up a whole world of positions that were previously reserved for Olympic gymnasts!
For more inspiration on sex furniture check out these amazing sex swings and sex chairs.
20. Get out of the bedroom
Yes, I know the title is new things to try in bed, and your bed is warm and comfy, but getting adventurous around the house can element of naughtiness that really adds to the excitement. There’s something incredibly thrilling about getting bent over a desk or worktop and the bathroom is always great for some hot and steamy sex. If you want to add a little more spice, find a big mirror to watch yourselves in. Once you start looking, you’ll see new opportunities everywhere you look!
How can I tell my partner I want to try something new in bed?
Okay, so you are feeling inspired to get a little adventurous in the bedroom, but you’re not sure how to bring it up with your partner. Here are some top tips on how to start a conversation with your partner about trying new things in bed, and how to discuss the topic with sensitivity and openness.
- Start the conversation when you are both feeling comfortable and relaxed. Think cozy evening on the sofa or a slow weekend morning.
- Use positive language. Here are some ways to start the conversation using positive language. Piggyback off another time you tried something new — ‘You know, I loved it when we (insert sexual adventure here), and I would love to try out some other new things together.’ Reassure your partner — “I really love our sex life and have been thinking of some ways we could make it even better.”
- Be patient and understanding if your partner is unsure about your suggestions and respect their boundaries.
- If you are both on board, use this list or watch some ethical porn to get inspiration together and pick out ideas you both want to try to make your own sex bucket list.
- Remember that consent changes over time and just because someone says they are up for doing something now, it doesn’t mean they will always want to do it. This is a great reason to talk openly and often about sex in your relationship.
- Keep it playful and don’t put too much pressure on yourself or your partner. Sure some things will lead to the hottest sex you’ve ever had and others just won’t be your cup of tea and that’s ok.